Lol exactly. And while I myself was keeping up with all my teachings I was never allowed to progress and consistently told how bad I was doing by all the JWs. So I burned out because doing the same thing over and over again (like the Jdubs say to do) and expecting a different result is insanity!
Not only that, but this was one of the first things I posted about on this website and I was screwtenized for blaming the religion. Pretty ironic since there are plenty Apostates on here.
Nonetheless good for you man figuring it out. Know you aren't alone and we just gotta keep peace in our mind as our focus, not constant worries.