@freddo ty!
Well, 15y ago, when UN - NGO affair was on, I sent a letter to local branch asking what's going on. Then they made a committee, start to harassing me, etc, you know how its work. I was devoted till then, after that I was "spiritualy" devastated, but I survived. In the meantime, I froze all activities, just attending meetings once in a few months, to say hello to old folks, some of elders was removed/replaced, one congregation was disbanded, the new policy about faded ones was started, etc. My wife and my and her family was devoted all the time, but, funny thing, I never had problem to talk with elders, any time any place, but she simply hates "visits". That particulary visit was last year, after elder said: it would be just once, a half hour session, nothing more, i promise, and she agrees. CO was talking mostly about his service, his background, state of the cong, branch plans, that thing about visiting every member, etc. No questioning at all. I learn that they trying to change perception of elders visits from "wtf I did wrong?" to "awww, whata honour!"
what with you and your wife being at "hem-hem" different levels of "spirituality."
P.S. We learned to keep our personal life - personal. She didn't anything wrong, but she also experienced some kind of shunning in the cong because of me (to the matter of the fact, I didn't do anything wrong either). She survived too, but with conscience of some things she never dreamed before. To make long story short, we are happier now than earlier.
P.P.S. I'm sorry i can't express on English better, hope it is understable.