Posts by contramundum

43

At a regional convention today....

by Nobodyspecial in

jw
friends

it really stands out to me just how phoney the bonds of forced brotherhood are.

the smiles are paper thin when they see each other in hotels.

the laughs forced.

contramundum

Last RC I gave a lift to a friend in her 60's. She had recently had an operation on her foot , which was well bandaged and she could not walk without the help of crutches.

She hadn't managed to obtain a 'ticket' in advance to allow her to sit in the coveted elderly and infirm seats on the ground floor, but I felt sure the attendants , seeing her predicament, would show compassion .

I could not believe the lack of love, common sense and plain human decency she encountered. We were practically physically barred entry and my poor friend was abandoned in tears on an isolated chair in the foyer. She was not able to climb the steps to the other seating yet not one attendant would bend the rules in favour of showing Christian kindness and allow her access to an area she could comfortably reach. Ironic since the whole convention programme was about following the loving example of Jesus.

I was already questioning doctrine by this stage, but this experience shockingly brought home to me the truth that so many of you have also realised - there is no real love in JW land. Obeying orders without question takes precedence over compassion and kindness every time.

"I was only following orders". Now where have I heard that before? 😕

47

My 14-year-old niece is being disfellowshipped

by keyser soze in

jw
friends

i was contacted by my ex sister-in-law yesterday.

she asked me if i wanted to spend some time with my niece, while she went to her sister's baby shower.

it turns out my niece can't go because she's about to be disfellowshipped at the ripe old age of 14. .

contramundum

How sad.

My daughter wanted to become a publisher and work towards baptism around age 9 or 10. I thought she was too young and not mature enough to realise the implications. I am so glad she didn't persevere. She too went through a tough time from age 14 and would have been df'd.

If that had happened, I would have felt severe pressure to abandon her when she needed me most. WT practice of shunning, especially regarding young people is very cruel

30

not all JW's are asleep

by Damascus in

jw
friends

i am an 'active' jw but i do not agree with most of the doctrines inc blood, baptism, the memorial etc etc.i took the emblems at the memorial because i think we all should recognise and accept jesus' command to remember him.

not for one minute do i think this is only for the so called anointed.

i know it is full of man made error and that my fellow brothers and sisters are in a state of mindless, spiritual unawareness.

contramundum

Hi Damascus

I also feel very similar to you - I am still dragging myself to meetings (admittedly only 2 or 3 a month now) and spend the whole time wishing I was not there.

I listen with growing disbelief to the paper thin reasonings being parroted by unquestioning and uneducated men who have lost the ability to think for themselves and feel so sad as I look around the hall and see people I care about lapping it up , blind to how shallow and manipulative the teachings really are.

I have stopped going on the ministry because I could not in good faith promote a religion that I now see as deluded at best, harmful and destructive often. But it does worry me at times that I am not active in making disciples . I try to compensate by being a better, more `Christian` person.

Why do some of us keep going? We all have different reasons. For me, even though I no longer believe it is The Truth, there is a tiny voice in my brain that whispers to me "but what if it IS right?". The indoctrination and fear culture of 40+ years is tough to shake off.

CM

7

A Conversation with my Mom about Anthony Morris, Spanx, and Tight Pan

by Brokeback Watchtower in

you get them ac.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhj4vyo6myu.

contramundum

This really made me laugh - yes, 'at' AMIII, not with him

17

Vacation Time! Going To A Regional?

by millie210 in

this is the first year i have not been at a summer assembly.. the friends here locally just got back from the regional in our area.. they mostly took their vacation time from work to attend.. while they were gone i had an epiphany...... why is it that the rank and file take their summer vacation time to attend an assembly (we have all heard this hammered in from the platform) whereas the governing body attend as part of their "work".. it cant be as simple as "well, they are giving talks" because there are many brothers that give talks from the rank and file also who have used up precious vacation hours and drug their entire family there plus give their parts.. or what about other brothers and sisters who volunteer and clean at the assembly.

on vacation.. so the pubs.

travel at their own expense, pay for their own rooms and food, and give parts and it is supposed to be viewed as their vacation.. the gb and c.o.s travel to the same assembly and stay in provided for accomadations, give a talk or two and they are "working".. what is that about?.

contramundum

I know one family who save all year so they can afford the expected 'donation' to travel to the RC each day on the congregation organised coach. It is a huge pressure on their already tight finances.
Every convention I have ever attended for work always has lunch, drinks and snacks provided without charge (often the highlight in an otherwise tedious day)
Come to think of it, when I was a child, the food at conventions was still the highlight of the day for me

29

Assemblies - Before and After Waking Up

by Funchback in

jw
friends

happy friday to all!.

i haven't been to a meeting for maybe 10 years.

i only know what's happening nowadays from the experiences i read here or the internet in general.. anyway, on to the topic: i started attending meetings at the age of 7. as a kid, the only thing i looked forward to at the assemblies (circuit/district) was walking around veteran's stadium (philadelphia district convention) during intermission, hanging with friends, looking at girls (as i got a little older) and trying to have enough tickets to get pizza!.

contramundum

The memories I have as a child in the '70s at Twickenham Rugby Stadium: - sitting on concrete steps (no seats) under plastic sheeting in the pouring rain wiping condensation away so I could see the drama - counting the number of aeroplanes passing overhead approaching Heathrow Airport. It was especially exciting when Concorde flew past - so loud the speaker had to stop talking - saving up food tickets to binge on chocolate at the end of the convention
I'm afraid I don't seem to remember any 'spiritual gems' - maybe my subconscious has deliberately erased the more unpleasant memories

4

RIP Terry Wogan

by LoveUniHateExams in

i've just been reading the sad news that terry wogan has passed away after a short illness (cancer).

he was 77.. i admit that i wasn't necessarily a fan of his but he came across as such a nice, decent, softly-spoken and gentle individual.

he was also a successful broadcaster and presenter.. i hope his family realize how much he was loved and get the support that they need at this difficult time.

contramundum

I first paid attention to Terry when my car was out of action and I had no option but drive to work in a borrowed Volvo estate which had also seen better days.

There was no CD player and the battered radio could only be tuned into one station - Radio 2.

If I were the cursing type, I would have cursed the whole 40 minute daily journey to work . Where was the current chart music I loved? Why should I be forced to have no choice but listen to some old Irish guy chuntering on in the mornings? (nothing against old people, the Irish, or guys btw) Radio 2? For goodness sake!

Inwardly I seethed, outwardly I glared at other motorists clearly enjoying a wide variety of 'wake me up', modern, soul refreshing music.

Day 1 - I listened under sufferance

Day 2 - I allowed myself a chuckle at some witty remark

Day 3 - I begrudgingly looked forward to the next instalment of Janet & John

Day 4 - I was won over

Please forgive me Sir Terry. You brought gentle humour and lively wit to so many people's lives. The world will miss your sparkle.

37

Stepping out of the shadows

by contramundum in

i have been lurking on the site for a few months and thought it about time i plucked up the courage to step out of the shadows and say hello.. i am in the process of fading after realizing all is not right with the organization i had trusted implicitly for over 40 years.

there have always been 'truths' i have struggled to accept entirely, even as a child, but was confident that trusting in jehovah, building my faith and remaining patient would be enough to settle any nagging doubts that remained, so i pushed any inconsistencies to the back of my mind and concentrated on being the best witness that i could be.. over the last few years, however, i have been preoccupied with a number of crises in my family and stepping back slightly from 'theocratic' activity has allowed me to re evaluate a number of concerns and research sources other than the sanitized wt publications.. my eyes are now wide open - i found things which have appalled me and left me feeling extremely let down and disappointed by people i had really trusted.. i tried gently raising a few subjects with my mum (who was baptized early '70s and still remains a staunch wt supporter) but she will hear no criticism of the organization.

i understand this because the best part of her life has been invested in the religion and to acknowledge it may have got things wrong would be to recognize the last 40 years have been a vain waste.

contramundum

Wow! Thanks for all your responses and interest. Where do I start to explain more?

@ Stan livedeath: I'm a woman living in Britain. Followed avidly every single day of Aus Royal Commission and was saddened to realise that these men just don't seem to have the capacity to understand that current WT procedures for dealing with child abuse issues are archaic, ineffective and plain harmful to the victims. I was also utterly shocked to learn about WT's membership of the UN for 10 years and subsequent backtracking, attempted deception and lies when exposed. (among other things , but I'd take up far too much space if I listed every contradiction I have since found)

@katewild: I left my 'JW' husband for scriptural reasons , which I'd rather not go into. My daughter hasn't attended meetings since around that time and my son is more and more reluctant. So no opposition from them.

I am grateful for all of your suggestions on how to handle questions from friends. Luckily I recently moved offices at work and now travel to a different town, plus I work 5 days a week and I think most of my friends assume that my job, along with caring for the responsibilities of home and children, wear me out and that this is the reason for missing meetings more frequently. I am happy to let them believe this if it prevents me feeling obliged to answer uncomfortable questions. Otherwise, I am perfecting the art of vagueness and indirect responses which leave people none the wiser

37

Stepping out of the shadows

by contramundum in

i have been lurking on the site for a few months and thought it about time i plucked up the courage to step out of the shadows and say hello.. i am in the process of fading after realizing all is not right with the organization i had trusted implicitly for over 40 years.

there have always been 'truths' i have struggled to accept entirely, even as a child, but was confident that trusting in jehovah, building my faith and remaining patient would be enough to settle any nagging doubts that remained, so i pushed any inconsistencies to the back of my mind and concentrated on being the best witness that i could be.. over the last few years, however, i have been preoccupied with a number of crises in my family and stepping back slightly from 'theocratic' activity has allowed me to re evaluate a number of concerns and research sources other than the sanitized wt publications.. my eyes are now wide open - i found things which have appalled me and left me feeling extremely let down and disappointed by people i had really trusted.. i tried gently raising a few subjects with my mum (who was baptized early '70s and still remains a staunch wt supporter) but she will hear no criticism of the organization.

i understand this because the best part of her life has been invested in the religion and to acknowledge it may have got things wrong would be to recognize the last 40 years have been a vain waste.

contramundum

Thank you for all your supportive comments. It helps immensely to know that I'm not alone in this and there are so many of you who share the same emotions and struggles.

So far my response to peoples enquiries as to my well-being has been as positive and up beat as I can manage without seeming too over the top. I am in fact generally happy. Work and family situations are going well so I tend to speak about that rather than spiritual matters. I want my friends to realise that true happiness and success isn't dependent on abject devotion to WT .

37

Stepping out of the shadows

by contramundum in

i have been lurking on the site for a few months and thought it about time i plucked up the courage to step out of the shadows and say hello.. i am in the process of fading after realizing all is not right with the organization i had trusted implicitly for over 40 years.

there have always been 'truths' i have struggled to accept entirely, even as a child, but was confident that trusting in jehovah, building my faith and remaining patient would be enough to settle any nagging doubts that remained, so i pushed any inconsistencies to the back of my mind and concentrated on being the best witness that i could be.. over the last few years, however, i have been preoccupied with a number of crises in my family and stepping back slightly from 'theocratic' activity has allowed me to re evaluate a number of concerns and research sources other than the sanitized wt publications.. my eyes are now wide open - i found things which have appalled me and left me feeling extremely let down and disappointed by people i had really trusted.. i tried gently raising a few subjects with my mum (who was baptized early '70s and still remains a staunch wt supporter) but she will hear no criticism of the organization.

i understand this because the best part of her life has been invested in the religion and to acknowledge it may have got things wrong would be to recognize the last 40 years have been a vain waste.

contramundum

I have been lurking on the site for a few months and thought it about time I plucked up the courage to step out of the shadows and say hello.

I am in the process of fading after realizing all is not right with the organization I had trusted implicitly for over 40 years.

There have always been 'truths' I have struggled to accept entirely, even as a child, but was confident that trusting in Jehovah, building my faith and remaining patient would be enough to settle any nagging doubts that remained, so I pushed any inconsistencies to the back of my mind and concentrated on being the best Witness that I could be.

Over the last few years, however, I have been preoccupied with a number of crises in my family and stepping back slightly from 'theocratic' activity has allowed me to re evaluate a number of concerns and research sources other than the sanitized WT publications.

My eyes are now wide open - I found things which have appalled me and left me feeling extremely let down and disappointed by people I had really trusted.

I tried gently raising a few subjects with my mum (who was baptized early '70s and still remains a staunch WT supporter) but she will hear no criticism of the organization. I understand this because the best part of her life has been invested in the religion and to acknowledge it may have got things wrong would be to recognize the last 40 years have been a vain waste. It was a struggle for me to come to terms with this also - I would have done so many more worthwhile and better things with my time. I will try to make up for this when I finally have the courage to leave for good.

I realize it will not be an easy road. I am trying to fade gradually so at least my friends and family will be able to talk to me, but I am under no illusion that those friends, some of whom I love very dearly, will still associate with me when I stop attending all meetings.

I am now getting the occasional "are you ok?" texts and "we haven't seen you for a while, have you been ill?" comments. I wondered if anyone could suggest any suitable words I could use to reply to well meaning friends when they ask why I have been missing 3 out of 4 meetings every fortnight. I have no wish to upset or offend people by telling them to mind their own business and I don't want to make up excuses either.

I'd appreciate any advice.