I am overly empathetic when it comes to not upsetting my family, I really can't stand the thought of bringing my mom to tears.
That's a nice quality. If possible try to avoid any confrontations with her. I think you'll find that once you start college the fade will happen naturally.
Also be careful talking to your aunt. She's not going to tell you anything you don't already know and she may feel that she has to approach your mother about it. Keep your cards close to your chest, don't get caught in what they term 'gross sin', and live your life. The rest will happen naturally.
Good luck.