What do you do about the anger that one experiences when waking up. Anger of being lied to for decades, anger about wasting allot of time on nonsense. I am sure its a normal reaction , but I am wondering what others have done? I watched a video of " Tight Pants Tony" giving a talk where he was obsessed with armageddon , death, talked about people rotting, split open , smelly, and the streets full of them. I saw that on " John Cedars Channel" and I was so pissed. The amount of fear being dispensed was incredible, and to think I have been getting a constant diet of that my entire life. I spoke with this to my JW parents tonight and my dad listened, but just laughed. I said what part of that talk is moral or humane and I cant imagine my kids listening to it; not one part was moral, humane, or positive. Im pissed that I have been to countless assemblies, and listened to this crap but never really listened. He also said " look around at the store next time and just imagine those people " ...bla,bla,bla.
CovertsadJW
JoinedPosts by CovertsadJW
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57
What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time
by CovertsadJW ingood afternoon , .
i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.
i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.
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57
What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time
by CovertsadJW ingood afternoon , .
i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.
i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.
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CovertsadJW
Thank you everyone , and I so much appreciate your kind words. I have had doubts for a very long time - I think I have been waking up for a very long time. This is the most I have been able to talk about this ever; I am amazed and very appreciate everyone. So if I’m long winded or maybe reapeat myself a little - I apologize:) I think I worry about the kids the most. These problems are not new at all, just reached a boil over point. Again thank you everyone - thanks for the sheparding talk ....lol
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57
What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time
by CovertsadJW ingood afternoon , .
i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.
i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.
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CovertsadJW
Thank you and I look forward to your input as I am having some “ self harm” thoughts at times - no where near that point - but hearing from you later would help - have a good day at work ...I’m folding laundry , time to pick up the kids at school
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57
What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time
by CovertsadJW ingood afternoon , .
i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.
i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.
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CovertsadJW
Thanks ,
I will be purchasing that book and read it myself.
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57
What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time
by CovertsadJW ingood afternoon , .
i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.
i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.
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CovertsadJW
Do you think the “ cult was making you unhappy “ ? I ask because that all she talks about - how we are not doing enough, late for meetings , don’t have a family bible study , etc , etc. She was off and mad about something and I said “ I am very happy internally “ and I don’t need others approval. Wow that went over well , happiness is based on an internal locus and not and external locus for sure - people are chasing everything to be happy to no avail. The hardest part is watching affect me and the kids fairly significantly and it’s getting worse. She cannot and will not verbalize her “ behavior “ as inappropriate, has never said sorry. It’s a hard position to be in - religion issues and wife issues all tied up in one. She is too proud to go to therapy , see faults in herself , but so quick to blame me for her unhappiness all the time. Am I crazy ? Knowing the truth is a “ lie “ and my wife will not bend , look at facts , communicate without anger and cutting remarks says much. I am serious when I I have said ....is she trying to destroy our relationship and blame me or is she that blind to her behavior that she thinks she is doing good. She has really pushed me away , but now I look like “ a spiritually weak one “ when in fact that’s not true. I won’t say what I do for a living but when people ask me “ how can I be successful in this job .” I always say be humble so you can learn from others - same applies to waking up from the truth. You have to be very humble to wake up, you have to want truth and facts as it’s a very very painful process based on so many factors. Not one person says “ give me all of this pain “ Man I have nothing better to do than be a jerk , trash my religion, cause myself psychological harm , and maybe loose my family and friends for leaving - what craziness. But the facts are the facts
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57
What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time
by CovertsadJW ingood afternoon , .
i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.
i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.
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CovertsadJW
Wow dubstepped,
Very welll said and your insight is spot on, I said this earlier -I never set up proper boundaries in our realarionship- I do stand up but not strong enough and not early enough in our relationship. Thanks for saying it’s okay - that means allot-. Yes any and all criticism is taken very personal; over the top and her critical nature is severe. She is smart , a very hard worker , but she is so hard on herself in everything- way over the top. She has lots of good qualities and I do not want to “ demean “ her , but that does not usurp her critical and demeaning nature. I’ve come to realize that if any person is constantly critical of themselves , people around them , the way people do things , the way they dress , what they drive , etc - that influence permeates the household and makes for a negative approach to life- I see it in our kids now - self doubt, anger, poor self esteem, etc. I really believe that a combination of being raised by a very strict mom, being a JW from birth with a personality that leans heavily towards negativity and then add the FOG, plus being married to a guy who does not believe and that’s a tough pill for a perfectionist to swallow. Camparisons are constant, etc. I want to live in a warm and kind household that has unconditional love , not perfect , just one that can raise ( the best we can ) good kids who are confident , have a good outlook in life , who value critical thinking and education. Life’s difficulties can be handled with the propel tools and you ( we, us ) do not have to hide or run away from problems - that’s what the JWs teach. That’s great short term but the long term consequences are devastating.
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57
What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time
by CovertsadJW ingood afternoon , .
i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.
i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.
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CovertsadJW
Thank you so much everyone -this is really helping. To answer a few questions along the way.
In her mind , her opinion is the only one that counts usually. If I differ in my opinion she reacts in attitude and speech like I am attacking her personally. I am talking about small stuff. She gets mad, sometimes rolls her eyes, etc. I have stopped her many times and said “ don’t talk down to me”. Communication is poor , but I will keep trying.
Kids - I am not sure there is a slow way to introduce different thoughts or shall I say real facts in a way that is indiscreet. When my kids ask about something I answer but it’s not JW - they report this. The kids mostly do not want to go , but she is the driving force and when I don’t go she certainly lets me know. In her family her mom is the same-
Thank you so very much everyone - I really do appreciate the input and ideas.
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57
What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time
by CovertsadJW ingood afternoon , .
i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.
i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.
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CovertsadJW
Thats kind of how I feel crazy guy, at this point I can never tell the kids how I feel. People say slowly introduce idea, etc, but my wife is on to that and wants no part. I bought them books on critical thinking ; they are young school aged and old enough to read and understand. ITs so sad that the JW.org makes it impossible to speak the truth without ripping apart families. I fell like I have been put in this position and despite what anyone may say I did not "choose" this way of thinking. I have looked at facts, examined all sides, and decided that the truth is a lie and a falsehood. So of course and you say, people will certainly plant seeds in my kids minds and my wife has those seeds already-we intermittently go to meetings, assemblies for one day, etc. She knows I do not want to be there, and makes me out to be bad to the kids, her friends, etc. The seeds are planted. I religion has put me in this position and I have not chosen it; being baptized at 15 certainly does not do me justice. We know that story.
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52
New to the truth
by MatthewHewey ini have been meeting with member's of the kingdom hall, and i have attended a few times now on sundays.
i'd like to discuss experiences with this group since i'm new.
so far, i love it.
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CovertsadJW
Being a JW=giving up all critical thinking ability
Being a JW=Being less moral than the world as 99.9% of the worldly people will be destroyed according to them
Being a JW=Being created sick and commanded to be well under threat of eternal destruction
Being a JW=FOG-constant fear, obligation, and guilt as a motivation, not love.
Being a JW=depression, fatigue, self loathing, self doubt.
Being a JW=A denial of higher education for fear of loosing members.
No-dont do it
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57
What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time
by CovertsadJW ingood afternoon , .
i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.
i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.
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CovertsadJW
That’s how I have been feeling for a while now. It’s not like i just started having doubts for a few months -it’s been years and intense in the last 8-9 months. I’ve been watching lots of well put together videos , reading JW facts , reading God is not great , just to help put the nail in my doubts not necessarily the Aetheist part. I feel like I am being forced to choose “ family unit “ or what I believe in my soul- at my wife’s constant criticism. I am a really mellow guy , and let so much go, but I think everyone reaches a saturation point. I just wish JW’s could debate with reasonableness ( wife included ). I love reading Christopher Hitchens books; the man is very well educated and a brilliant debater-I think my wife thinks the more mad she is , more critical she is , more yelling she does I will finally get it and fall in line. That’s been her MO for what she wants. Thanks everyone - this helps me