OneFingerSalute

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Posts by OneFingerSalute

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  11

  Suggested comment to add when answering at the meetings

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  inspired by the humour in cappytan's thread, i thought of a way those who are still forced to attend meetings can have some fun.... especially with the increase in articles with topics about "listen, obey and be blessed", a subtle method of having fun would be to substitute the expression "the governing body" wherever "jehovah" "jesus" is said.. imagine an answer such as this:.

  "yes, this paragraph helps us to see how vital it is to listen and obey the governing body".

  "yes, our strict obedience to the governing body is a way to show how much we love them".

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  OneFingerSalute

  Great idea stuck.

  I have been using the term "members of the governing body" wherever the WT uses fds. I recently got reprimanded for that. the eldurr said that Jesus called them the faithful slave, not governing body.
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  8

  What kingdom do the sheep inherit?

  by scotoma in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  once again jehovah has decided to light a candle so jw's can see where they are going.. they went to great lengths to explain that feeding the hungry anointed, thirsty anointed, giving them clothing, housing and visiting them in jail means the preaching work (distributing literature).. this is indeed noble when you consider that the right-hand sheep do this not even knowing who they are helping.. if the sheep are oblivious of who they are helping they must not recognize these "least" ones as christs brothers.. and what is their reward for unknowingly, blindly helping christs brothers?

  they inherit the kingdom that was prepared for them from the founding of the world.

  the new-lighters conspicuously avoid explaining what kingdom they inherit and how they inherit it.. do they inherit the kingdom that flesh and blood can't inherit.

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  OneFingerSalute

  Parable: a usually short fictitious story that illustrates a moral attitude or a religious principle.

  Prophecy: the inspired declaration of divine will and purpose.

  Illustration: a picture or diagram that helps make something clear.

  So the WTB&T$ throughout these articles called these stories alternately illustrations and parables (which are two completely different things) and applied them as if they were prophecy.

  As for sheep and goats, if it is an illustration, then it is simply a word picture to make clear that to be a sheep one should show the qualities of those who go to Christ's right hand. It cannot, by the WT own words, be a prophecy as they stated the sheep and goats were not literal. And it also cannot be a parable as then the story would be fictitious. (Of course we all know it is)
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  22

  It's My Turn

  by OneFingerSalute in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  well i finally got the, "we would like to stop by with the circus oversneer and have an encouraging visit.

  would ---------day be good, at say -----------?".

  it'll probably be a pretty dull visit with the entire conversation being only one way.

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  OneFingerSalute

  Well they came, and they went.

  The entire conversation of some forty-five minutes can be summed up as:

  C.O. & S.O. "Brother, you must reach out! Do more!"

  OFS "Hmm."

  Good-bye.
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  32

  New Watchtower-- the End is coming in our lifetime again now??

  by FusionTheism in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  they just posted the simplified august study watchtower on jw.org.. paragraph 11 of the "expectation!

  " article says this:.

  "so even if we feel that we have been waiting a long time, this does not mean that the end is far away or that it is not coming in our lifetime.".

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  OneFingerSalute

  Wait a minute, it says in our lifetime? WTH? The circus oversneer just said last Tuesday, "We are in the last days. Soon we will find ourselves in the last day of the last days."

  So what happened to being in the last minute? Geez, this gets more goofy every day!
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  22

  Should I Shun My Dog?

  by snugglebunny in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  some background:josie the miniature schnauzer is now 12 years old, so she's old enough to know the difference between right and wrong.

  however, she insists on peeing in the middle of my beautifully tended lawn, which, as a consequence, is now covered in brown patches.

  i've remonstrated with her a number of times and each time she purports to show a diplay of repentance, that is, she slinks away on her belly with her ears flattened down tightly to her head.

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  OneFingerSalute

  You can only perceive her as "bad association" and mark her.

  I tried to mark my dog, but all I succeeded in doing was pissing down my own leg. Does that count?
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  15

  Any good answers at this Sunday's WT?

  by Lemonp in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  obviously this weeks' wt has been part 3 of big changes in the doctrine.

  at the end i answered up saying along the lines of: "as we can see from the illustration box, when it comes to the reward being given to the slaves, divine appointment was not given in 1919. this will happen in future when the anointed get taken before armageddon".

  i couldn't bring myself to say "raptured at armageddon" as i think people might have taken a closer look at me...but it felt good to call out publicly the bull sh#t date of 1919 .

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  OneFingerSalute

  Q. How has this article refined our understanding of the parable of the talents?

  A. As the article immediately preceding this one states, "Humans cannot know which Bible accounts are shadows of things to come. Where Scriptures do not specifically teach that something is typical of something else we accept it as such." So with the parable of the talents we have "our" understanding now refined to the fact that what we knew to be represented by all facets of this parable now only have a partial application, and the rest is just letting us know we need to stay busy, always doing more.

  Heads bobbing like it was a Halloween apple tank.
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  49

  New WT video: Like taking money from a baby!

  by WingCommander in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just when you thought may's jw dot org video featuring wide-eyed cult lunatic gb lett guilting the masses into giving every last dime they have couldn't be topped, your children will now be fed a guilt-inducing cartoon in which they are guilted into giving every last cent they have to the wt cult.

  the wt entitles this one, "give us your money!

  even your children are to be shaken down!

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  OneFingerSalute

  The screen capture drawing doesn't show what sex the cattle are, but EVIDENTLY (don't you just love that word) they are bulls. Why is that evident? Because the video is one steaming pile of buIIshlt!
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  16

  List of Convention releases

  by paulmolark in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  day 1 release - return to jehovah .

  day 2 release - jesus - the way, the truth, the life .

  day 2 release - become jehovah's friend - .

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  OneFingerSalute

  What are they guys in the writing department doing all the days ??

  Practicing their ASL masturbation video techniques?
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  22

  It's My Turn

  by OneFingerSalute in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  well i finally got the, "we would like to stop by with the circus oversneer and have an encouraging visit.

  would ---------day be good, at say -----------?".

  it'll probably be a pretty dull visit with the entire conversation being only one way.

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  OneFingerSalute

  Well I finally got the, "We would like to stop by with the Circus Oversneer and have an encouraging visit. Would ---------day be good, at say -----------?"

  It'll probably be a pretty dull visit with the entire conversation being only one way. I remember a saying, "Don't put in writing what you can say. Don't say what you can grunt, Don't grunt when you can remain silent."
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  22

  New Light! The Evil Slave Class no longer exists!

  by FusionTheism in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  quote from the watchtower, march 15, 2015, page 23:.

  in the illustration of the faithful and discreet slave, jesus spoke of an evil slave who beat his fellow slaves.

  jesus was not there foretelling that an evil slave class would arise.

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  OneFingerSalute

  There aren't any 'classes' relating the the slave anymore.

  Funny, I told that to one of the nose in the air wannabe eldurrs who always yaps on about the FDS class this, and the FDS class that, and wouldn't you know, I got reprimanded for trying to "correct" an appointed brother!