Wonderful stuff from you all. So much ammunition for going forward. Yes, Outsiderlookingin, I'm ambivalent about the friendship and haven't much invested in it at the moment. It's more that she keeps writing to me and my sense of politeness makes me feel bad for not replying hence her re-sending previous e-mails as if I didn't receive them. Rebel8 - superb, will definitely use.
When I feel more level headed I will reply and accept the outcome with equanimity.
In any tale there is so much more in the mix especially from our childhood. She was from a rich family and I was from the wrong side of the tracks but she seemed to be desperate to have me as a friend over whom she could lord her worldly possessions, new clothes, hair styles, et al. I have since made good as have my children - and I mean really good - but she still seems to need to harp on all their overseas trips, their rented out mansions, spa weekends, signs herself as your flying friend, etc. It's all so fake and hypocritical.
Jwdom is truly a very grubby corner.