Posts by stephenlettclownface

6

Massachusetts JW exile

by oldstory70 in

i am way late to the party on this message board but i saw that there were some folks from the new england area who had stories about familiar jws that i grew up with.

my story, as brief as i can tell it, goes like this.. i was born in boston, ma in the early 70s to two my mom and dad who were in their early 20s and woefully unprepared for marriage and raising kids.

dad becomes drunk and violent, mom is bipolar, desperate and high strung and looking anywhere for help.

stephenlettclownface

@oldstory70:

Welcome! I'm a newbie here myself.

Your story is similar to mine, but thankfully there was no molestation. Just a couple of highly dysfunctional parents who eloped at 15 and 17 and had no business doing so.

Alcoholism up and down all sides of the family tree.

Dad was a tyrant and bully to all of us kids, at the same time being a beloved figure at the KH.

Mom was (and still is) a true agent of chaos and a vicious trouble making gossiper. At the same time being a beloved figure at the KH.

They hid it extremely well. Still do. Dad passed 2 years ago. Until the day he died I never heard a sorry from his lips about the way he treated all of us.

Mom is still very much the Guardian of Family Myth. The worst thing you can do is to challenge her that you might let some information out, even at this late date (she's 84).

And many many things could be shared with their friends that would damage the sterling reputation they cultivated for 70 years.

My mom was raised as a JW by her mother, my grandma. Grandma started it all. I'm 3rd Gen of 5 Gens in the JWs. A point of pride at one time, but now it is shameful to me. I love them and want them all out.

So as I said, Dad came along and married Mom. He was 17 and had just graduated High School. She was 15 and still had 2 more years to go that she never finished.

Mom was raised around the JW faith and was baptized when she was 12. But my DAD. With no religious or Christian background at all, and no interest in the Bible EVER in his life before (his own words to me) he studied with JWs and became one and got baptized in short order.

He SWALLOWED IT WHOLE.

Nothing, nothing, nothing was ever important to him the rest of his life except "every pronouncement" coming out of the mouth of the Watchtower.

Most of the 5 generations of our family (including my uncles and aunts, my cousins, and their children and their children, in addition to my own sisters and their families) will never leave.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. I told part of mine just to show that there are others like us, probably more than we think, that have similar stories.

It does get better. And flushing anything Jehovah's witness related from your system is a great and big first step.

All the best.

Cheers

43

VERY NEW AT THIS BUT LOST IN SPACE

by stephenlettclownface in

jw
friends

i apologize if this post ends up in the wrong place.

i have been a lurker here for several years.

i thoroughly enjoy this site, have for years, and read something or another on this site many times a week.

stephenlettclownface

@FedUpJW:

I absolutely agree. Matthew 23:4 is one of my favorite scriptures on that subject.

If you close your eyes and imagine one of the verses wherein Jesus is talking to the Pharisees, relax, and substitute in your mind the words "Governing Body" or "Watchtower" in place of the word Pharisees.

It is as if he said those things directly about them!

Of course, he was talking about all hypocritical religious leaders. When you are a JW you read these things and because of the indoctrination you don't apply the scriptures to the very large ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

Cheers

43

VERY NEW AT THIS BUT LOST IN SPACE

by stephenlettclownface in

jw
friends

i apologize if this post ends up in the wrong place.

i have been a lurker here for several years.

i thoroughly enjoy this site, have for years, and read something or another on this site many times a week.

stephenlettclownface

@diogenesister:

Thanks for the tips and the nice welcome!

Cheers

43

VERY NEW AT THIS BUT LOST IN SPACE

by stephenlettclownface in

jw
friends

i apologize if this post ends up in the wrong place.

i have been a lurker here for several years.

i thoroughly enjoy this site, have for years, and read something or another on this site many times a week.

stephenlettclownface

@jehovaxx:

I absolutely agree that "Almost certainly there is more to it."

I am where I am. And you are where you are. Neither of us has all the answers.

With all due respect, isn't being an agnostic a form of "fence sitting"?

Don't get me wrong, I was a fence-sitter for decades. Including 19 years when I was disfellowshipped out of the religion/snare/racket and felt enough freedom to do some research.

Ray Franz's book was not enough to completely unlock my mind. It only deepened the doubts about what JWs were selling.

But I was still mind trapped. If religion came up during that time I always pointed people towards JW's as being "The True Religion" even as I told them they should not look at me, I was a bad example of a witness, but one day I was going back.

I was in a mind loop for years over 4 things:

1. Jehovah's witnesses stand on neutrality and not going to war.

2. Jehovah's witnesses preaching work, reaching the ENTIRE inhabited earth.

3. They don't take money. The message is offered freely. They only accept contributions.

4. The "Where else would I go" canard I mentioned earlier.

I know now that all 4 of those above things were based on lies or at the very least many shades of grey.

So yes, as said before, I dumped the religion but not the faith in the Bible's promise.

You are interesting to me because you are still a member in good standing, but secretly don't believe a word of it.

Can I ask? Are you a publisher, pioneer, MS, or Elder? If you hold a "position of responsibility" (as they like to call it) how do you square that with your inner beliefs?

Are you still in because of family and friends? I can certainly relate to that.

I pioneered briefly when I was a teen. That was back in the JW roll-up to 1975. My parents convinced me to quit high school at 16 to pioneer. Within 2 weeks I absolutely hated it. I ended up going back and finishing high school.

I was never a servant or an Elder. I came close a couple of times to Ministerial Servant (the Eders approached me) but immediately both times pulled back on meeting attendance and service hours because I wanted no part of it. I NEVER wanted to sit in judgement of others, even from a young age. Why would anyone willingly have that hanging over their heads, it they take the appointment as an Elder or MS as seriously as they should? It was not for me.

I'm meandering a bit here.

But in summary, yes, I still cling to the Bible. And yes, I might be wrong in doing so.

Are you familiar with Pascal's wager?

Cheers

43

VERY NEW AT THIS BUT LOST IN SPACE

by stephenlettclownface in

jw
friends

i apologize if this post ends up in the wrong place.

i have been a lurker here for several years.

i thoroughly enjoy this site, have for years, and read something or another on this site many times a week.

stephenlettclownface

@peacefulpete:

Thank you

Cheers

43

VERY NEW AT THIS BUT LOST IN SPACE

by stephenlettclownface in

jw
friends

i apologize if this post ends up in the wrong place.

i have been a lurker here for several years.

i thoroughly enjoy this site, have for years, and read something or another on this site many times a week.

stephenlettclownface

@stan livedeath

I meant that it changes your world view, even in little ways.

For me big ways too.

Cheers

43

VERY NEW AT THIS BUT LOST IN SPACE

by stephenlettclownface in

jw
friends

i apologize if this post ends up in the wrong place.

i have been a lurker here for several years.

i thoroughly enjoy this site, have for years, and read something or another on this site many times a week.

stephenlettclownface

@nicolaou:

HA!

Thanks for the welcome! I'm the grumpy and crazy old uncle in my family too! (Except I'm not for those who care to get to know me).

Most stay clear because of the urban legends spewed out by my highly dysfunctional (and up to their eyeballs immersion in all things JW) parents and siblings.

A couple of my nieces and 1 of my nephews (who see through all the bullshit) are close to me, however.

Cheers

43

VERY NEW AT THIS BUT LOST IN SPACE

by stephenlettclownface in

jw
friends

i apologize if this post ends up in the wrong place.

i have been a lurker here for several years.

i thoroughly enjoy this site, have for years, and read something or another on this site many times a week.

stephenlettclownface

@stan livedeath:

Sorry for missing your post and not responding sooner.

Being married to a Filipina is a paradigm changing circumstance. No?

Cheers

43

VERY NEW AT THIS BUT LOST IN SPACE

by stephenlettclownface in

jw
friends

i apologize if this post ends up in the wrong place.

i have been a lurker here for several years.

i thoroughly enjoy this site, have for years, and read something or another on this site many times a week.

stephenlettclownface

@jehovaxx

"You can have unconditional love for family members but if they turn out to be involved in really evil criminal activities then you surely would disown them and cut them off unless they were really sorry."

But we've all seen criminal murder trials where the victim's family publicly state that they forgive the killer, haven't we? Even when the killer expresses no remorse.

Are these people delusional or misled?

For me, I am in awe of them.

Love is unconditional. (Though I will agree that it is much easier to say that than to practice it.)

I can say that when I spotted a Disfellowshipped person walking into a Kingdom Hall, I would TRY to catch their eye and give them a smile and a nod. One small bit of rebellion that I was doing YEARs before it became ok to do so.

How ridiculous that until very recently JW's were not allowed to show even that small amount of courtesy to another human being.

But they still won't talk to them. Really talk.

Not one of us is better than another. We cannot rightfully even judge Hitler.

Of course, he let his actions speak for him, so.... But we don't get to be the hangmen. We just don't.

So no, I don't believe in conditional love. There is only one kind of love, and that is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

The fact that it is so hard to practice and we all fail at it daily is due to our own imperfections.

Jesus gave us an example to follow, knowing full well it would be a struggle, but the reward would be great.

Cheers

43

VERY NEW AT THIS BUT LOST IN SPACE

by stephenlettclownface in

jw
friends

i apologize if this post ends up in the wrong place.

i have been a lurker here for several years.

i thoroughly enjoy this site, have for years, and read something or another on this site many times a week.

stephenlettclownface

@TonusOH:

(posts TonusOH's entire message about "Brotherhood" here)

Spot on.

Cheers