Funchback, that's too funny! It's especially funny because I can see them writing exactly that.
From the same Washtowel article: "Sisters, when you wipe after doing your business, take care that you do not wipe so hard as to arouse yourselves. Some have chosen to avoid wiping altogether so as to flee from unclean desires. Should you fall into unclean habits, report said habits to your ever loving elders in elaborate detail so they can get off."