Again, thanks so much for the welcome. I know there will be differences of opinion and I expect that and in many ways welcome it. We were taught for so long that thinking for ourselves is from Satan, that to actually be able to ask a question or voice an opinion is reprehensible and I am personally thrilled to find a place where I can read about other perspectives whether I agree or not. I have witnessed a few posts that I thought were hurtful to the writer and I am sure I will experience that sort of thing from time to time but I am looking forward to an overall positive experience here.
joyfulfader
JoinedPosts by joyfulfader
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101
New girl in town here for support
by joyfulfader inhi everyone here on jwn.
i admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now i am ready to post and i want to introduce myself.
i am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the po (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life.
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101
New girl in town here for support
by joyfulfader inhi everyone here on jwn.
i admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now i am ready to post and i want to introduce myself.
i am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the po (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life.
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joyfulfader
That is all ancient history. It's the latest incident. Abusive relationship with elder-recommended brother. Relationship ends and elder body argues about it during bible reading comments publicly. Friends listen to gossip and develop hateful attitude. Elder who recommended said brother verbally attacks me in front of everyone after the ministry school meeting. Elders stop speaking to one another and refuse to work in service with one another. The elder body was actually publicly divided virtually in half. The politics came out and the hypocrites became so apparent that I could no longer ignore the fact that Jehovah was telling me to hurry up and save myself and my child from the ignorance and hatred. After I stopped going to the meetings I got "encouraging" phone calls from "friends" telling me that I was going to die at Armageddon and it would be my fault when I had to watch my child die too because I was no longer going to meetings. Just because I was not at the meetings. Not because I had committed a great sin (I am not Df'd) but because the "loving" treatment I had received caused PTSD and the only time I had panic attacks was in that place called a kingdom hall. It's amazing the calm I felt after making the decision to never go back. So with that basic outline...here I am :)
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101
New girl in town here for support
by joyfulfader inhi everyone here on jwn.
i admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now i am ready to post and i want to introduce myself.
i am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the po (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life.
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joyfulfader
The PI thing didn't work. Can't prove times or dates without 2 witnesses even with pictures and copies of electric bills in 2 names. And minors do not count as witnesses. Finally got a letter from my ex saying I was free...which I was accused of forging. They went to the accounts reports that my ex had been in charge of to do a handwriting analysis and decided that yes I had my freedom. Unfortunately for me one of the elders on the committee was out of the country in Europe for 3 months and it took that much longer to rectify the situation. Actually humorous in retrospect in a sick, dark way.
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101
New girl in town here for support
by joyfulfader inhi everyone here on jwn.
i admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now i am ready to post and i want to introduce myself.
i am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the po (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life.
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joyfulfader
I did register a few months ago but had to come to terms with the fact that my posting on the site makes me an apostate. Had to get up the nerve to post an anonymous message on a website using a made up screen name with an icon that really doesn't resemble me in the least :)
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101
New girl in town here for support
by joyfulfader inhi everyone here on jwn.
i admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now i am ready to post and i want to introduce myself.
i am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the po (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life.
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joyfulfader
Hmmmmm...my posting notes tell me I can post 92 more times in the next 24 hrs. Doesn't mention the 10 per day limit. How is a girl supposed to vent with just 10 posts??? LOL
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101
New girl in town here for support
by joyfulfader inhi everyone here on jwn.
i admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now i am ready to post and i want to introduce myself.
i am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the po (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life.
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joyfulfader
I am a transplant to the southern U.S. by way of my late husband's job. Yes, my 2nd husband passed away suddenly. Thinking of moving back north. No more ties here. Wish the real estate market was better...would help with the disappearing thing too. Just glad I live out of the territory of my old congregation!! Fortunately my parents passed on good genetics so not only do I not feel 40, I don't look it either. Still doesn't erase the fact of the number though. And ur right PaintedToeNail...can't dwell on what I can't change. Leaving was actually what I needed to get OFF the Prozac.
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101
New girl in town here for support
by joyfulfader inhi everyone here on jwn.
i admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now i am ready to post and i want to introduce myself.
i am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the po (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life.
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joyfulfader
Thanks for the welcome. I wish I could write it all down but no one including me would have the time to take it all in. I was always the dutiful daughter. The one who pioneered, told on myself, cried at every baptism talk...married the MS/pioneer and actually never went past 1st base before marriage at 21. Fast forward to husband elder and new baby. Hubby decides he has had enough religion, enough marriage and enough parenthood and leaves to live with one of his girlfriends giving up all custody. 2 yrs later I am engaged to be remarried and it is brought to the attention of the elders that no one has actually SEEN my ex husband enter a house with a woman and come out the next day. I was told that 2 elders were going to meet with me to sort things out. I walked into the KH and was ambushed by a JC and was disfellowshipped on the spot. Thought about appealing since it was baseless but the ingrained notion that they were all powerful kept me from doing so. My baptized fiance still married me because he knew the truth but it took 3 yrs to get the proof to be exonerated and even then I was accused of forging the proof. And I still went back...WHY???? That was only the beginning. It only got worse. Fortunately I am very resilient and each event made me more determined to be able to take care of myself. The final straw came many years later and last year I walked out of the house of hypocrisy for the last time. It is the events surrounding that final straw that I am struggling with and its those events that hit me out of the blue sometimes and I feel so much anger and resentment. I am working on that :) btw...I am at work (I did go to college finally and have a good career) and my iPad refuses to make paragraphs. Sorry for the bunched up sentences.
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101
New girl in town here for support
by joyfulfader inhi everyone here on jwn.
i admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now i am ready to post and i want to introduce myself.
i am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the po (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life.
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joyfulfader
Hi everyone here on JWN. I admit to being a lurker for quite some time before joining and now I am ready to post and i want to introduce myself. I am/was 3rd generation and daughter of the PO (as it was termed at the time) for most of my life. I had doubts for a long time for oh so many reasons and last year after an unbelievably distressing situation (JW related) left me with PTSD, I walked out of the KH and never went back much to the chagrin of my parents. I wish that at 40 yrs old I would be allowed to make decisions for myself and not be held hostage emotionally because I was baptized when I was considered too young to even date (baptism is considered a more important event than marriage ya know...) My story is a long, intricate chain of events that would rival a soap opera and I am just starting the acclimation process. The choice to never go back gave me a huge sense of relief but now I have the regret of not doing it sooner and that my life is half over. Trying to readjust that feeling of a wasted life to one of rebirth at 40. This is my start :)
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47
DO THREE ELDER'S MEAN IT IS JUDICIAL?!?
by DATA-DOG ini have a friend who met with a couple of elders recently and i was told things went well, no issues.
well a couple weeks later they stopped by my friends place, ( just to say hi ) right before they left they said, " hey can we meet again?
my friend said, " sure ".
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joyfulfader
So from that experience alone, 3 elders is never just a visit. There is a specific agenda. Coming to the realization that they are just men and I do not have to answer to them was both exhilarating and devastating since I spent my whole life panicking that I might do something to warrant a trip to the back room and I wasted sooooo much time doing such. Then ended up being sent to my own room instead. Comical in a very twisted way.
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47
DO THREE ELDER'S MEAN IT IS JUDICIAL?!?
by DATA-DOG ini have a friend who met with a couple of elders recently and i was told things went well, no issues.
well a couple weeks later they stopped by my friends place, ( just to say hi ) right before they left they said, " hey can we meet again?
my friend said, " sure ".
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joyfulfader
I know my situation is unusual. This happened approximately 2 yrs ago. I ended up privately reproved so I didn't appeal anything. The politics involved and the ensuing very public arguments held in the KH during the comments on the bible reading from the opposing sides of the elder body would make one cringe.