Posts by Pubsinger

my daughter wrote mrs. flipper and me each our own individual letters thanking us initially for the gifts - and then went into detail as to why she has not spoken to me for over a year and shunned me.. keep in mind as i paraphrase some of the highlights to these letters that the only negative thing i have said about the organization to my daughter in 3 years was to show her the ap news release about the child abuse settlements by the wt society .

i'll quote parts of the letter to mrs. flipper first :.

Pubsinger

Perhaps you can mention to her that you have not told her the full story about why you are not going to meetings. You didn't want to burden her with your problems...the truth is that you are feeling depressed - you have been praying to Jah about your feelings of worthlessness because you feel you are not doing enough...

Seek to engage her emotions and endeavour to meet face to face to talk...

Go slow and take baby steps as you introduce matters that you have been meditating on - matters that you have been praying to Jah about tearfully eg R. Jensen letters
That's what I mean't about not mentioning anything. I really believe that the above will be interpreted as "He's dangerous. There's stuff he wants to tell me. I mustn't give him the opportunity."
The longer you can maintain contact and prove that you are no threat the more chance, I believe, you have of reconnecting.
Everyone to his own, and obviously Flipper knows his daughter better than anyone - but that's my gut feeling.
Best wishes
Pub

22

my brother said i cant ever meet his baby

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

i started a thread about my dad finding me on facebook but the truth is my brother was on it ive just got a call from him saying i cant have anything to do with facebook or i can have nothing to do withj him or his baby!!!.

i feel so upset ok i was on ex jw sites on there but even gettin rid of then was not enough he said i have to get rid of facebook forever or i cant see him or my nephew#.

i dont know what to do.... my dad is in the middle and not well and old and so sad at the cofrontationtation i feel bad!!!

Pubsinger

Facebook or your family? I know which I'd choose.

Sure they don't have the right but they're not gonna change.
You have to decide which you'd rather sacrifice.

At some later date you could set up a new Facebook profile.
Don't put your photo on your profile, set the privacy settings so no one can see your friends and don't add your family to your account LOL

Pub

81

My JW Daughter sends a Letter to us Explaining her Shunning of Me

by flipper in

jw
friends

my wife and i sent my 22 yr.old pioneer witness daughter and her husband a anniversary card and $ 40.00 and flowers the end of april.

my daughter wrote mrs. flipper and me each our own individual letters thanking us initially for the gifts - and then went into detail as to why she has not spoken to me for over a year and shunned me.. keep in mind as i paraphrase some of the highlights to these letters that the only negative thing i have said about the organization to my daughter in 3 years was to show her the ap news release about the child abuse settlements by the wt society .

i'll quote parts of the letter to mrs. flipper first :.

Pubsinger

I think that you shouldn't confuse getting some sort of relationship back with your daughter with getting her out of the Watchtower.

Personally I'd think that the former is a better and more realistic possibility.

She needs to feel totally unthreatened by you.

How long did it take for her to reply to your gift? I'd wait approximately the same amount of time and then write back.
I would ignore any mention of religious stuff totally and focus in a gentle, natural way on her and your relationship - not too gushing and definitely no bargaining or pleading (however mild). I would leave the letter on an open positive note, nothing that requires an immediate response, maybe just a simple "take care and catch you soon"

I would then leave it.

In a couple of months or so (if you haven't heard anything) send them something again - a card, postcard etc.
Don't acknowledge or mention anything about The Watchtower or religion at all.

If you can manage to get through half a dozen exchanges of correspondance or manage to communicate for a reasonable amount of time (it could be a year or more) without any mention of WT stuff, she may start to relax and trust you. In it is quite likely that she'll be puzzled. Eventually she will probably ask you something directly. At this point I would suggest that you totally deflect it by saying something like "You know, I really love you and respect your views and I don't want to discuss anything that will make you think otherwise" and refuse to be drawn further.

By doing this I believe that you have a chance of rebuilding - in time . . .

Rushing or having an agenda of your own could be disasterous.
I'd forget Steve Hassan's book at the mo and ask yourself which you want more - a relationship with your daughter or the possibility of her batoning down against your approaches.

Pub