Nitty-Gritty

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Posts by Nitty-Gritty

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  204

  Candace Conti Settles

  by Nitty-Gritty in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hot topic on topix seems to be candace conti settlement.

  but it's all quiet here.

  are you guys aware that your hero, who was not in it for the money but to change policies, settled without changing anything?

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  Nitty-Gritty

  @LisaRose,

  Thanks for your explanation.

  My point is, just because someone molests a younger person once (as in the instance you mention) does not automatically mean they become a pedophile or predator. It seems this was the premise the elders were going along with. I am not condoning what happened to your friends child, and it's easy for me to say because it did not involve my children. Heck, if anything like that had happened to my son I would have wanted to scream it from the rooftops, there is no worse wrath than the wrath of a mother. Actually I would have reported it straight to the police...but that's just me. I probably would have warned the sister he was marrying as well.

  Presumably if they are still married and all is well with his step children (as I am sure if it wasn't you would have heard about it) it looks like it was an isolated incidence, and if it was, it would go to prove he was not a pedophile and that if your friend would have told everyone that he was it would have constituted gossip.

  The problem of pedophilia is very complex, nothing about it is cut and dry as some like to make out...
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  204

  Candace Conti Settles

  by Nitty-Gritty in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hot topic on topix seems to be candace conti settlement.

  but it's all quiet here.

  are you guys aware that your hero, who was not in it for the money but to change policies, settled without changing anything?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nitty-Gritty

  @razor

  I do get what you were trying to state on your post. What you demonstrated was scientific discovery. It is not related to CD.

  You are wrong there, it is actually referring to CD, hence the "unpleasant feeling" factor. You can substitute the belief in a scientific therory with any kind of belief, it doesn't have to be anything to do with science. When you make a decision in order to counteract the dissonance you might feel better, but it won't change the fact that your decision was either right or wrong.

  I do not think you got what I was trying to say a all.
  
• 
  204

  Candace Conti Settles

  by Nitty-Gritty in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hot topic on topix seems to be candace conti settlement.

  but it's all quiet here.

  are you guys aware that your hero, who was not in it for the money but to change policies, settled without changing anything?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nitty-Gritty

  P.S @ I have read articles on jwfacts. Are you an atheist by any chance?
  
• 
  204

  Candace Conti Settles

  by Nitty-Gritty in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hot topic on topix seems to be candace conti settlement.

  but it's all quiet here.

  are you guys aware that your hero, who was not in it for the money but to change policies, settled without changing anything?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nitty-Gritty

  @azor

  Doubt creates cognitive dissonance because if you re totally happy with what you believe there is no dissonance.
  

  I don't think you understood what I was trying to say with that diagram.
  
• 
  204

  Candace Conti Settles

  by Nitty-Gritty in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hot topic on topix seems to be candace conti settlement.

  but it's all quiet here.

  are you guys aware that your hero, who was not in it for the money but to change policies, settled without changing anything?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nitty-Gritty

  @ LisaRose On the contrary, I just know the state of denial that many JWs live in. My best friend when I was a JW was one of the smartest people I know. Her son was molested by a young brother that she employed to babysit. He confessed and was privately reproved. A year later he got married to a sister with two young children. My friend was concerned that she was not aware that she was marrying a pedophile, so she informed the woman. My friend was told she should not have done that, and if she told anyone else she would be subject to a JC.

  I knew of this and was bothered, I knew there was a very great chance those children would be molested, but I thought it was an isolated incident, those elders were just mistaken, Jehovah would fix it in time, etc. I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, yet I did not see what would be obvious to any one not in a cult, that this was how they did things, and was not an isolated event, but business as usual.

  1. First of would you mind telling me how the elders found out about the fact that your friend told this sister.
  

  2. And was it an isolated incidence, I mean did he go on to molest anyone else?
  

  
  
• 
  204

  Candace Conti Settles

  by Nitty-Gritty in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hot topic on topix seems to be candace conti settlement.

  but it's all quiet here.

  are you guys aware that your hero, who was not in it for the money but to change policies, settled without changing anything?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nitty-Gritty

  @ azor
  

  Most JWs do not suffer from cognitive dissonance. They are pretty convinced and sure in what they believe and what they want. Those with cognitive dissonance are those who still go to the meetings but have doubt. A few are on here.

  The trouble with cognitive dissonance is this:

  
• 
  204

  Candace Conti Settles

  by Nitty-Gritty in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hot topic on topix seems to be candace conti settlement.

  but it's all quiet here.

  are you guys aware that your hero, who was not in it for the money but to change policies, settled without changing anything?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nitty-Gritty

  @ LisaRose I agree you can't disclose names unless it has been proven, so Silent Lambs is correct in not listing names, but what about where there has been a conviction, or a confession? Silent Lambs does disclose names when they are in the media, but does the Watchtower?

  Disclosing names when they are in the media is not really disclosing them is it? They are already there for all to see.

  They could disclose that there have been accusations and that parents need to be careful, then all children could be protected, not just elders families.

  I agree with you there and I have not see or heard WT say there is anything wrong with that at all. In fact the many articles WT has written on this subject have already disclosed that this possibility exists. If a problem has been discovered, then a local needs talk is given on that subject. This way everyone is alerted. Do not think members are that naive. There are all kinds of people in congregations, some downright weirdos come in. If the alleged molester is an elder or min servant they are automatically removed from their position. This is not normal and it alerts everyone that there is something wrong. Then the local needs item is given.

  As for "spiritual paradise" everyone knows this means that what they are being taught is spiritual truths from the Bible, as opposed to other religions who water down the scriptures or teach falsehoods. Everyone knows, and many have personal experience of the fact that just because someone claims to be a JW, or is and Elder, or a pioneer, does not automatically mean they are not capable of something bad. You don't give the members of the congregation much credit and think they are all dim wits evidently.
• 
  204

  Candace Conti Settles

  by Nitty-Gritty in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hot topic on topix seems to be candace conti settlement.

  but it's all quiet here.

  are you guys aware that your hero, who was not in it for the money but to change policies, settled without changing anything?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nitty-Gritty

  @MarkSutter

  Nobody is putting my children at risk. The only person that could be putting my children at risk would be me or my husband by not keeping our children close, and/or by allowing them to be alone with someone. The KH is open to the public, anyone can come and go. There are (maybe) pedophiles everywhere.
  
• 
  204

  Candace Conti Settles

  by Nitty-Gritty in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hot topic on topix seems to be candace conti settlement.

  but it's all quiet here.

  are you guys aware that your hero, who was not in it for the money but to change policies, settled without changing anything?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nitty-Gritty

  Silentlambs has a list of towns where alleged Jehovah's Witness sex offenders were reported to silentlambs. My town was on the list.
  

  Yesterday I wrote to silentlambs:
  "I was looking at the list of cities where alleged sexoffenders were reported to silentlambs to see if anyone was reported in my town. I would like to know why there are no names? It would be more helpful if one could actually know who these sex offenders are. "
  

  This is the answer I got:
  "Thank you for writing Silentlambs and we hope the list is helpful. The reason names are not used is due to legal reasons. I some cases the molester was not convicted for various reasons, in others investigations
  were underway. In many cases allegations are hard to prove but that does not mean that they are not true. If we published every random name we were given it could cause litigation issues or perhaps impede a police
  investigation. For those reasons we simply list the community to help the public and members to be aware".
  
  Frankly, the list was not helpful at all. Knowing there are child molesters in my town, how does that supposed to help me? I already am aware of the problem of child molesters from the many articles the WT has written about this subject, and also how to protect my children. (yes, I am a mother).
  

  Now you tell me, if Bill Bowen won't disclose the names of these child molesters,(although he knows them) for the reasons he specifies, then why can you not understand that the WT does not disclose the names for the very same reasons?
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  20

  Candace settled and she deserves the peace.

  by snare&racket in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "hot topic on topix seems to be candace conti settlement.

  but it's all quiet here.

  are you guys aware that your hero, who was not in it for the money but to change policies, settled without changing anything?".

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nitty-Gritty

  Just FYI

  Silentlambs has a list of towns where alleged Jehovah's Witness sex offenders were reported to silentlambs. My town was listed.
  I wrote to silentlambs:
  "I was looking at the list of cities where alleged sex offenders were reported to silentlambs to see if anyone was reported in my town. I would like to know why there are no names? It would be more helpful if one could actually know who these sex offenders are. "
  This is the answer I got:
  "Thank you for writing Silentlambs and we hope the list is helpful. The reason names are not used is due to legal reasons. I some cases the molester was not convicted for various reasons, in others investigations
  were underway. In many cases allegations are hard to prove but that does not mean that they are not true. If we published every random name we were given it could cause litigation issues or perhaps impede a police
  investigation. For those reasons we simply list the community to help the public and members to be aware".
  
  Now you tell me, how is that supposed to really help me? I already know I should be aware of child molesters. The WT has published a multitude of articles on that subject. The point is, if Bill Bowen won't disclose the names of these child molesters,(although he knows them) for the reasons he specifies, then why can you not understand that the WT does not disclose the names for the very same reasons??