Hmmm,is he an elder? Because he replied like an elder. You wrote him a letter stating why your not attending. He runs to his wife knowing she going to blow. He sounds young. Next he is blowing up about child hood hurts.(elderish) I can assume that your son reacted to his wife actions. And she made her demands according to the JW stance.
There is more going on between your son and his wife.
For one thing he asked you if he could share,he set his wife up to react. Why did he feel the need to set himself up like that? Frankly it sounds like you live in a different town,right?
Trust me it has nothing to do with you and your spouse. Sonny boy is not happy in paradise. It sounds like he used you to get the wife nagging off his back.
That wife had choices to ignore your letter,but she took control. Smile,so your son reacted. He needs to grow up and take control of his life and emotions emotionsother wise wife will always try to control him. Also women like this will find reasons to leave.
Your son made his choice to share something and he did not have to ask anyone's permission. Errrrr! Dr. Phil.
Stick up for your wife.
YOU can also tell your son that his letter to his mother was inappropriate and if he would like to visit and talk about tbe pass YOU would be wiling to do so. But writing long hurtful letters to your mother is not going to be tolerated. If this is how he is coping with your bibical view points it is two different subject and you would be willing to set aside religious view points for the Love we all share for each other and our grand children.
People do not need to talk about religion or the bible to enjoy pizza or recieve a polite letter. Think what is in the best interest of your grand children.