I was physically and emotionally abused and neglected as a child from when my Grandmother died when I was 3, so had to go back to mother and her new husband who plainly didnt want me.
I would come home from school, was allowed to watch Bewitched or Lost in Space, but had to go up to my room before stepfather came home, alone for 14 hours every day, no wonder I had great difficulty conversing with people, I thank the JWs that they taught me how to communicate by giving me something IO wanted to talk about.
Stepfather used to send me to the hardware store with sixpence to buy a stick to be beaten with. Other times he would kick me in the stomach or repeatedly beat me around the head. I had purple marks around my neck for a week from where he strangled me, and when I genuinely thought I was about to die, nowadays the neighbour who asked what the marks where would have reported him and he would have gone to prison.
I was 5 when I experienced the happiest time of my childhood, life even, 3 years spent in a Childrens home in rural Kent run by the Church of England Childrens Society.
As a result I have never been able to form an emotional attachment to anyone, I have been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder, previously I could never understand why I had to get rid of every girlfriend I ever had, and that includes a Pioneer discribed as the most beautifull sister on the circuit, something Ive kicked myself for ever since, for it doesnt mean I like being alone, I hate it, its like a living suicide where unless I have to get out of bed for work, I will sleep all day just so I can have a rest from the nightmare of being permanantly alone.
Sorry to the sisters I hurt, there was something wrong with me that I didnt know about, dont worry, Iam suffering more than you ever did.