Welcome Doubting Bro!
Your story sounds a lot like mine. I too am still in, (elder, BS overseer) going through the motions strictly for family reasons. I would have left 5 years ago when with the help of Freeminds and this board I started doing real research for the very first time in my life. However, my love for my die hard JW family (regular pioneer mom, po dad, foreign branch bethelites aunt and uncle) and host of life long friends currently is making my outing myself a little difficult. That is not to say that I will be able to take much more of the insanity of this religion, this upcoming KN #37 campaign "takes the cake" when it comes to the insane things this religion continues to do. I do hope within the next two years to make my exit.
Q