Yes, the mental illness card is the best. If you can get a diagnosis from a professional even better. My congregation fears the word schizophrenia and the elders leave you alone if you mention depression. You will get a lot of time to yourself to do fun things. The elders will give you articles and send you on your way. Option 1 could lead to a judicial committee because you said youre confused and option 2-Just isn't healthy, because you're going to snap. If you use the depression card you can guilt trip your wife for pressuring you. You just have to make your wife believe you're depressed, for example you could say- I'm done with this life and leave the house for a few hours to go have a bite to eat or go to the cinema. She will think you're depressed and have given up on life. When actually you were referring to your jw life hehe. This is the only way I see you being able to walk freely between both worlds.
Best wishes