As usual Oubliette, you are right on the money!
Let's review.....
WinstonSmith
JoinedPosts by WinstonSmith
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336
The New Diary of Winston Smith
by WinstonSmith inwe had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.
fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.
i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.
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336
The New Diary of Winston Smith
by WinstonSmith inwe had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.
fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.
i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.
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WinstonSmith
Alrighty then, so here is Mum's follow up email to her "I will look at everything when I return and contact you then" message. She got back on the 25th of February and this reply came last night (8th of March):
Hi there
Safely home from <location> after another lovely trip. It was really hot there, but it was a great stay again renewing old acquaintances and making new ones. Tons of photos of course.
I will reply to your other comments in due course, I just don't feel like it right now.
love to you both, mumxxx
I replied this morning and said "Glad to hear you made it back safe and sound the other week. Great that you could catch up with some familiar faces. Would love to see some photos at some stage." I am going to leave the ball in her court about replying to my "other comments", but I tell you this now, if she tries to defend her treatment of me with a stream of WT bullshit, she'd better get ready for a take-down that will rival Armageddon. If she insists on cutting me off then she will get exactly what she wants because IDGAF anymore.
I love her to pieces, but will not allow her or anyone else to happily shit all over me. I'm done dealing with human worshiping morons. The sad thing is that I don't think she will ever 'get' it, and all any of this will do is fuel her (their / JWs) persecution complex. Time for me to focus on the people who love me for what I am, and not for shared obedience to a publishing corporation.
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336
The New Diary of Winston Smith
by WinstonSmith inwe had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.
fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.
i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.
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WinstonSmith
Listener: My initial reaction was "oh well, now I know where I am on her list of things to give a shit about", but as you say, I think that I am hitting a nerve that she can't ignore. A lot of JWs never have to face a challenge to their faith, and so when they do have to face one, they have no idea what to do because things in real life never play out like they do in a convention demonstration or drama. Love your point about if shunning were Christian then we would see good coming from it. Nice one!
Clarity: Thanks for keeping in touch :-)
Giordano: I appreciate you checking in to see how things are going, nice to hear from you again! It is my hope too that Mum will come around to at least see that she can keep in contact with me. My whole goal here is not to get her to change her religion. I am honestly not trying to get her to change her religion, but I am trying to get her to see that there is no scriptural reason as to why we can't have a normal relationship, and that there is no scriptural reason for her stand (or rather, the stand she has been told to make). To be honest, I think she knows this, but does not want to admit it because if she admits that there is one thing that is incorrect, then she has to admit that there could be other things that are incorrect thus getting on a slippery slope that at her stage in life, she is not ready for.
Joe: Cheers for your message, I have read your posts and threads and sympathise with your position. There is no such thing as a true friend in the organisation - not in my experience anyway. Friendship as a JW is soley based on your mutual obedience to the everchanging rules of the publishing corporation overlords. Hang in there mate, things will get better!
Mum has finally followed up on the email she sent in my previous post. I will put it up in a minute. (It is a classic).
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If you wrote book about JW's what title would you give it?
by LogCon inmany, after leaving or being cast out of 'the society,' have felt so strongly so as to write a book.
some well thought out and good reading.. my questions are the following:.
if you were to write such a book what title would you give it ?.
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WinstonSmith
B.I.T.E Me
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336
The New Diary of Winston Smith
by WinstonSmith inwe had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.
fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.
i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.
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WinstonSmith
So it has been a while since I made an update on how things are going. To be honest as I said above, things are getting to be.............normal.
Following on from the leak of the DF and Suicidal Shepherding videos, I decided to have another go at getting through to mum. I know, I am a sucker for punishment! No-one will ever be able to say that I didn't try. Here is a blog post I made titled "Mum, please read" that I also sent to her as an email:
You made it very clear in a text to me back in October that did not want me to text you "for a while". I have respected that and we have only been in touch a few times since then (all initiated by me). We had a lovely chat on Skype on the 17th of January, but since then I have heard nothing from you. Today is the 15th of February which means on Monday it will be a month since you last had contact with me.
I know you believe that you are doing the right thing as directed by your religion, but I am still waiting to hear why, per the scriptures you have decided to cut me off simply because I decided that my belief system no longer aligned with that of Jehovah's Witnesses. There is no scriptural basis for your decision (or more correctly, the directive from your governing body), and for that reason, I do not know why you continue to ignore that fact that I exist.
Since deciding that my beliefs no longer align with that of the Jehovah's Witnesses, I have been the happiest I have ever been in my whole entire life. I have an amazing wife, a great job, and live in a beautiful city (and country) that makes me appreciate so much this unique life that we as humans have. Such a shame that because of your decision to shun me you are missing out on seeing me, your only son, thriving in my new found joy for life.
Neither you or anybody else have given me any explanation or reason as to why you think it is an acceptable Christian thing to do to cut off your own offspring simply because they can't accept the teaching of your religion. The last time I read the bible, it told me things like:
- Love covers a multitude of sins
- Lover never fails
- Forgive your brothers
- Love your enemy
- The example of The Good Samaritan
- The example of The Prodigal Son
- An identifying mark of true Christians is their loveCutting someone off because they no longer believe what you believe is not loving by any stretch of the imagination, and is most certainly not covered by any scripture.
The Watchtower Society tells its followers that this shunning is like tough love and that it can motivate people to come back. That sounds to me more like emotional blackmail that it does anything like love. If you think that shunning me and having no (or very little) contact with me is going to make me come back, then you are wrong. Very very wrong. The reason I will not come back and be a Jehovah's Witness is because a large number of their directives are plainly and demonstrably unscriptural, and their long track record is one of failed prophecies, flip flopping doctrine, and a heavy handed approach to the followers that more closely resembles the Pharisees than it does anything Jesus exemplified.
In addition to this, the Watchtower Society fails to genuinely care for its sheep. It definitely gives the impression that it does, but closer examination shows that this is not the case. As a case in point I was forwarded a video yesterday which formed part of a recent school for elders. Please watch the whole thing, and be mindful that the first section is the "how not to do it" part.
Please click here to view the video <link>
Keep in mind that this is not an 'apostate' video, this is an official Watchtower Society video designed specifically to instruct elders on how to 'shepherd'. I was sent a few videos, but I chose to share this one in particular because of the history of depression and mental illness in our family. The advice given here sounds nice on the surface, but is ultimately very dangerous.
Depression, and suicidal thoughts are a sickness and as such need professional care. It has nothing to do with integrity as stated by the elders in this video. Telling someone who is depressed and suicidal (she had even ideated how she was going to do it) that they are being attacked by Satan is horrible. Laying sugar coated guilt on them (you have to keep your integrity or else you are letting Satan win) is exactly the sort of thing that will push them over the edge. Telling them to read the bible and chant mantras are at best very short term fixes.
Someone in this situation needs to have professional help. Nowhere in this video is the lady directed to grief counselling, community help, or suicide prevention facilities. She is given what amounts to a pep talk and the elders sit there smugly like they have cured cancer.
In summary the video says "If you have suicidal thoughts you lack integrity and are letting Satan win against you, read your bible and everything will be fine."
This video shows a total lack of understanding (or desire to understand) mental illness. It is not something that is fixed up in a ten minute 'shepherding' call. It takes months of professional counselling for some to get the assistance they need to begin to move on.
This video is from the Watchtower Society and is therefore its instruction on how elders are to deal with this situation. As you know, elders consider themselves to be appointed by holy spirit and view the governing body as spirit directed. This gives them a dangerous amount of confidence in dealing with highly sensitive situation that could have devastating consequences. Not all elders are like this of course. In my experience I was fortunate to work with some really lovely guys. However these people are like this not because of the Watchtower Society, but despite it. As you can see, offering to assist someone get counselling or psychiatric help is the logical thing to do, but goes against what the Watchtower Society recommends in its training video.
Mum, I'm not trying to get you to change your religion. What I am trying to do is get you to do is examine what you have been taught to believe, and compare this with what the bible really teaches. The Bereans were commended for examining the things they were taught, and all true students of the bible should be the same. The blind acceptance of directives given by a self appointed and self named governing body is not only dangerous, but unscriptural.
You know I love you very much, and I know that you love me very much. I know that you think you are doing what is best for me, and I hold no ill will for this. All I am asking is that you examine the scriptures on their own to see of there is any basis for the decision you have been trained to make. There is no reason why we can't have a normal mother / son relationship and just not talk about religion.
With tonnes of love,
Winston
She replied not long after with the following:
Hi Winston
Thanks for the email. Good to hear from you.
<Stepdad>and I are currently <overseas> and will be home 25 Feb.
I have indeed really appreciated you respecting my request and it has been most beneficial in settling my mind.
Unfortunately, prior to coming to <country> we have had rather a torrid time with the death of <friend> who I have been supporting thru the final weeks of her life. We also had a wedding for which I was heavily involved.(We have another when we get back!). We have also painted all the stone work on the house and around the section in the last month before we left.
I will look at everything when I return and contact you then.
Love mum xxx
I was less than thrilled to know that she had not let me know she was going overseas. Not because I think she needs to report to me, but because she ain't that young anymore, and had anything happened to her while she was away, I would never have known where she was.
Lots of excuses as to why there has been no contact. I think I now know where I stand on the important-things-in-her-life scale.
I have not heard anything since, and will leave it another month before I make contact again. She can't get rid of me that easily. My existence and contact is a reminder to her of her cognitive dissonance, so I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.
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336
The New Diary of Winston Smith
by WinstonSmith inwe had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.
fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.
i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.
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WinstonSmith
Hello Clarity! Sorry for taking so long to reply, things have been mad at work since we hit the new year. Lovely to hear from you, I trust all is well. Take care, and hang in there!
Hi Suavojr, thanks mate, things are progressing well as we get more and more of a firmer footing outside of the organisation. Apart from no contact with my mother or sister, life is pretty much 'normal' now. I get up go to work at a place I love, come home hang out with my gorgeous wife, and spend the weekends exploring our beautiful city and surrounds while sipping coffee and eating good food.
I kinda like it. Such a shame my mother can't see me the happiest I have ever been in my whole entire life.
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336
The New Diary of Winston Smith
by WinstonSmith inwe had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.
fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.
i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.
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WinstonSmith
I am a huge fan of Vice, and one of their recent episodes covered the 'exiled' kids of the FLDS. It is the first ten minutes of the video at the link below. Couldn't help but draw comparisons to the JWs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8TMKyUdEEMo
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holy heck -- what a photo!
by Hortensia inhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-25975251.
maybe they ought to move the house out of the path?.
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WinstonSmith
"Just browsing, thanks"
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Elder and CO just dropped by....
by El_Guapo ini haven't been to a meeting in over a year, and as you know as soon as you stop attending meetings/fieldservice the "conditional" love becomes more apperant.
the coordinating elder starts off by saying how much he loves and misses me, etc.
i ask him, when was the last time you called or texted me?
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WinstonSmith
Apply water to burrrrrn
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336
The New Diary of Winston Smith
by WinstonSmith inwe had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.
fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.
i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.
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WinstonSmith
Here is a link to the original thread that the article was based on: