Posts by WinstonSmith

336

The New Diary of Winston Smith

by WinstonSmith in

we had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.

fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.

i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.

WinstonSmith

Hey there Clarity, thanks for your messages!

Here is another glimpse inside the mind of a JW:

This morning I sent a message each to two friends that got DF'd at different times last year. We were really good mates and we have always felt bad that we followed the rules and not our hearts when it all went down. They have moved on and have their own lives now, but both of them accepted my friend requests on Facebook within 20 minutes and we have spent the afternoon texting and messaging. Its been flippin' great to reconnect. Its like no time has passed at all and we have picked up where we left off.

One of them subsequently sent a Facebook friend request to Mrs Smith. We hummed and haaed about whether she should accept it as on FB people can see when you make new connections and according to what we have told people Mrs Smith is still 'in'. Then we were like "This kind of thinking is the JWs controlling us, and we are done with that" so Mrs Smith accepted the request.

Get this: She accepted the friend request at 6:06 and at 6:13 she got a text message from a sister saying "Did you just become friends with X on Facebook? She's still disfellowshipped isn't she?"

Mrs Smith hasn't replied, and won't. Maybe Mrs Smith just being inactive won last as long as we thought....oh well :-)

336

The New Diary of Winston Smith

by WinstonSmith in

we had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.

fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.

i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.

WinstonSmith

Hello everyone, thanks so much for your kind comments! I hope that as a community we can all continue to share and learn from our combined experiences. I appreciate you continuing to check in on the developing story. I sometimes think people might tire of my long posts and drama. It is therapeutic for me to do it though, so there will no doubt be more to come!

It has now been a couple of days since I sent my DA letter to the elders and also to my JW friends on Facebook. The number of friends continues to drop on FB, and I still have not heard anything from the elders.

I did however get a reply from Sister T. I had some small hope that all of the hard work and effort we had put in with her over the last year or so, along with being good friends that supported her when she got screwed by the elders might result in her wanting to keep in touch, even if it was in a surreptitious way. But sadly, no, that was not to be the case. This was her reply:

“I love you and this breaks my heart.
Love Jehovah and obey. I believe that you committed an act of apostasy. I know it’s what you now believe but I was stunned to see the extent of it.
Come back one day. I’ll greet you with open arms and tears of utter joy.
Good bye my brother.”

So there you have it. The cult defence systems are engaged. I mulled over whether or not I should reply and in the end thought stuff it, what have I got to lose? This was my reply:

“Hey there!

Thanks for your message. As I said earlier, it’s all good. I figured you would say something along the lines of what you said.

I do love Jehovah and I do obey him, but I will not and will never love and obey a group of men in New York who have spent the last 100+ years changing their minds and messing with people’s lives. Their position is unscriptural and my time as an elder exposed to me the harsh reality of what happens when humans think they can control a person’s eternal future.

I still love you and care for you both, and will never forget all the fun and adventures we had. Good times!

Take care, lots of love ”

I think what I said was fair enough. She, like most JWs, is a lovely person with some beautiful qualities. The WTS just has this knack of getting in to people’s minds and messing with them. The programming runs deep, and is difficult to undo.

I sent an email to my sister the other day too. I honestly have no idea what her response will be.

Mrs Smith has received some interesting messages. She / we have had no contact from anyone at all since our last meeting (the memorial back in March) and now all of a sudden they have remembered she exists. JWs only care when it is convenient for them. Here is one message, copied verbatim (except I have changed the names):

“Mrs Smith, I asked <a friend> for your mobile number last night so I could let you know that <husband> and I are thinking and praying for you. I can only imagine the pain in your heart. And we can only guess at the overwhelming feelings of disappointment that has led Winston to disassociate himself. We pray our God Jehovah will comfort and help you be strong in your own faith. Maybe this will in turn help your husband who you love so very much. When we were in <our old> congregation, <husband> and I respected Winston and you for your endurance. We were grateful for Winston’s hard work and reasonableness. I remember at a particularly low point in our lives we chose to meet up with Winston’s witnessing group because we felt comfortable doing so. How sad we feel to know Winston has rejected what we believe in our hearts to be the organisation Jehovah is using in these last days. Even though we are imperfect. We hope Winston will not feel this way for long. Mrs Smith, I know you don’t have good health, but I would love to meet up with you and <friend> for a coffee one day. Take care my dear sister. Jehovah bless.”

Mrs Smith forwarded the message to me with WTF? as the subject line.

It was nice how she mentioned about how her and her husband felt about coming to my group, but wrapped up in all the other stuff kinda makes it taste bad. It is an interesting peek into the mind of a JW isn’t it?

Do people assume that their relationship with Mrs Smith is now closer than my relationship with her? Do they think that Mrs Smith would hide these messages from me? I guess they must think that she is sitting in the corner terrified of her fire breathing apostate husband. I guess they need to keep telling themselves that what the WTS says about those who leave is true. Mrs Smith plans to regularly post pictures on Facebook of the two of us out and about having fun together.

In the couple of days since sending the letter, I have felt great. Had two good night’s sleep, got a new bounce in my step, and the world seems to have colour again. Fading was a long tough road, and for me, cutting it off and sending a DA letter was exactly what I needed. This may not be the case for some, but I am very happy that I did. No need to look around when I’m sitting at a foodcourt just in case someone spots us and comes over to tell us they miss us and we have to lie to them, no looking furtively out the window when a car pulls up out front of our house, no more wondering who’s on the other end when my phone rings.

Winston looked upon the situation, and he saw that it was good.

15

Sorry Simon - One More Problem Post

by Comatose in

on my ipad i got logged out and now it will not allow me to login.

it says an error happened when i try.

wanted to share in case it's an easy fix.

WinstonSmith

Similar for me this morning. My tablet automatically logged in as usual (and I can now see my post history which is great because I couldn't yesterday). But on my laptop when I click Log In I get an error page.

17

Simon: help please

by Farkel in

my last two posts were not parsed with a cr/lf.

all the sentences ran together with no cr/lfs.

i'm still using chrome with xp-pro and until today, everything worked perfectly.

WinstonSmith

I have the same thingo as Transhuman68. When I click on my name in the top right of the screen. I get a 'page not found' message. Thanks for your hard work Simon, it is much appreciated :-)

336

The New Diary of Winston Smith

by WinstonSmith in

we had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.

fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.

i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.

WinstonSmith

Well this morning I have 11 less friends on Facebook. I honestly expected more to be gone, but I am sure that it will dwindle away over the next few days. Not one of the 11 people that have unfriended me has said anything, no message, nothing, just a click to delete me from their lives.

Remember the friend that I talked about whose son was DF’d last year? Mrs Smith got a text message last night from her and her husband that said “We are thinking of you and you are in our prayers.” We both had a chuckle at this. I guess I they are not thinking of me, and I am not in their prayers. Glad to hear that they are so sad about me dying at Armageddon!

Mrs Smith got text message this morning from Sister T saying “Hello my sister, SO glad that you are still my sister! Our hearts are breaking so yours must be shattered. We are here for you and love you both. Let us know how we can help. I’ll be in touch as soon as I can.” Don’t you just love all the assumption? Mrs Smith replied and said “Thanks for your message. People already deleted him from Facebook without any words of confirmation which was a rude shock for me. As you know it was not an easy decision for Winston because he loves our brothers and sisters. We love you guys so much.”

It will be interesting to see how things pan out with Sister T. She has not responded yet to my email from yesterday.

I haven’t heard anything at all from the COBE or any of the other elders. They had their Service Meeting last night (I sent my message about halfway through) and our convention is not this weekend, but the one after so there won’t be another Service Meeting for two weeks. I’m guessing that they will announce it then. Might just have to phone in and listen to my coup de grace...

336

The New Diary of Winston Smith

by WinstonSmith in

we had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.

fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.

i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.

WinstonSmith

Cheers Tornapart, I wrote it, rewrote it, started over, rewrote it, and then decided on this final version. Any and all are welcome to copy, paste, and plagaragise it if they think it is something they can use.

Well, within half an hour I have 5 less friends on Facebook. No reply, no comment, just deleted me out of their lives like an un-needed file. Their loss. I don't blame them, they are simply following their programming. I wonder how many will be gone by morning?

I have received one message via Facebook, and it was nice and positive. The guy said "Thanks for your message, I respect your decision. So many spend their time half in and half out which I think is worse. All the best for the rest of your life!" His name is still showing on my friends list. Such a nice comment, and more so when you consider that we were much closer to some of the people that have deleted us without comment.

336

The New Diary of Winston Smith

by WinstonSmith in

we had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.

fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.

i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.

WinstonSmith

Well, it is done. I just sent off my letter to the COBE, and sent it as a PM to all of my JW Facebook friends with some introductory comments.

Here is the letter:

27 August 2013

To the Body of Elders,

This letter is to advise you that I, <Winston Smith>, no longer consider myself to be a member of the religion “Jehovah’s Witnesses” and to request that you destroy any records that you hold on me.

This religion was assumed from an early age, however now as a mature adult I have compared the doctrines and policies of “Jehovah’s Witnesses” with the contents of the bible and can see a vast difference. My personal beliefs and the doctrines and policies of “Jehovah’s Witnesses” no longer align. For many decades now the Governing Body have claimed to represent Jesus, and in that position have either predicted dates for the end of the world, or dangled the thought of it being “soon” yet Jesus was very clear in his words at Luke 21:8:

“He said: “Look out that YOU are not misled; for many will come on the basis of my name, saying, ‘I am he,’ and, ‘The due time has approached.’ Do not go after them.” - NWT

I hope that our friendships will transcend the difference in our beliefs, however I know - despite there being no sound scriptural reasoning for it - the Governing Body requires that no contact be maintained, even on a social level. This is of course ironic given that the July 2009 Awake on page 29 states:

“No one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family.”

It would appear that what is printed in the magazines, and the behind closed doors policy of the organisation differs markedly. This is but one of the many issues I have with the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, along with its policies that allow the committing and cover up of sexual abuse against children.

<Mrs Smith> is a loving wife and amazing woman and as such she understands and supports my decision. I alone am disassociating.

I do not wish to be contacted with regards to the contents of this letter except for it to be confirmed by email that you have received the letter, and have destroyed my records.

We may no longer be sharers of the same faith, but as far as I am concerned we will always be friends.

Yours sincerely,

Winston Smith

<email address>

I sent it, and then we went out and got some ice cream.

336

The New Diary of Winston Smith

by WinstonSmith in

we had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.

fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.

i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.

WinstonSmith

Cheers Tornapart, I hope that some members, or lurkers can read it and take away some encouragement to never give up on getting themselves and / or their loved ones out.

:-)

336

The New Diary of Winston Smith

by WinstonSmith in

we had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.

fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.

i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.

WinstonSmith

Hey there Phizzy, great to hear from you! I agree completely that she is probably most worried about about losing me as a friend. I have reassured her that my view of her and relationship with her will not change as far as I am concerned and that the ball is in her court as to whether she wants to keep contact. We'll see.

I emailed her this afternoon and told her the news. She replied and said that she is not going to respond straight away, and that she really needs to think about how to respond to me. She said she feels like she has been hit by a sledgehammer.

I fired off a quick reply to reassure her that whatever her decision I would still be her friend. That's the honest truth. I'm at the point now where what will be will be.

BE WHO YOU ARE, AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL. THOSE WHO MIND DON'T MATTER, AND THOSE WHO MATTER DON'T MIND.

336

The New Diary of Winston Smith

by WinstonSmith in

we had to go off grid for a time, time and half a time as we thought we had been outed.

fortunately it was a false alarm, but it was a stressful time.

i asked for my original diary thread to be deleted in case there could be anything on there to identlfy mrs smith and i. i am always very careful when posting, and am sure there was nothing on there, but felt it best to have it removed in order to be as cautious as a dove.

WinstonSmith

So in my earlier post, I mentioned that we were planning to catch up with Sister T this past Saturday night to let her know that I was going to DA. Sister T has been very supportive over the last year, so we kinda felt we owed her to tell her ourselves rather than just let her hear an announcement out of the blue.

In the email exchange we had while we arranged dinner at a local restaurant, I pretty much wrote again what I had written in my email to mum. Remember the message didn’t say that we were DAing, but that there were some things that we were not okay with within the organisation.

Her response was “Please don’t disassociate, leave the door open” and she admitted (as she has in the past) that the organisation has its faults, as do the elders, but all we need to do is love Jehovah and be obedient to those taking the lead. On hearing that I thought that after hearing all of the things we have talked about over the last year or so, if this is still her line of thought, then perhaps I won’t get through to her. She is such a lovely person and has been on occasion treated like crap by the congregation, but for her there must be an organisation I guess.

I didn’t get a chance to reply so the next opportunity we had to catch up was Saturday night for dinner. I had no real plan as to how I was going to tell her, I thought I would just let the conversation flow and when it gets round to WTS stuff like it always does, I would bring it up.

That was not to be.

I have never seen her so high in my entire time knowing her. She was like the energizer bunny talking non-stop. We could not get a word in. I think her reaction was to cover over it and talk about other stuff in the hope that it would go away. We literally had no opportunity to say anything that we wanted. We went our separate ways at the end of the evening and Mrs Smith and I were like “Poor thing, she is so wound up she can’t bear to even think about it.” It was obvious that the way she was acting was way different to normal. At one point, even her daughter told her to calm down.

So that was my last chance to try and talk to her, but it turned out to be nothing.

I plan to send her an email this afternoon explaining and making it clear for her. I will be emailing my letter to the COBE this evening, and at the same time sending a PM containing the letter to all 215 of my JW friends on Facebook.