"Listen obey and undress..."
noonehome
JoinedPosts by noonehome
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you know that JW song that goes, 'Hey there all you thirsty ones...'?
by Unlearn inwhen we were kids, and part bored/part excited that the meeting was finally over, we used to change the lyrics and sing, 'hey there all you hershey barrrs!'....
i got in real trouble one time for that.
my old man confiscated all of my shogun warriors and comic books (the ones he could find)....
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69
What would it take for YOU to come back?
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noonehome
Heaven
Being raised believing that you'll never die is a harmful fantasy. Facing my own mortality is one of the hardest things I've had to do in the past year and a bit, since realizing me and everyone I know is infact going to die one day... The Flaming Lips say it best:
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What would it take for YOU to come back?
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noonehome
Just curious. As of this moment I haven’t left, but every once in a while my mind reverts back to the “what if it IS true” state. Would it take a miracle or some kind of divine sign for you to make the 180? Or let’s say disfellowshipping was axed and it became a “conscious matter” whether or not to shun (don’t hold your breath…) . Is there anything that would change your mind, making you become a witness again?
I had a buddy tell me once that he couldn’t understand why people would leave instead of playing it safe and staying, because he wouldn’t want to die. Pretty messed up but I think allot probably feel this trap, whether or not they’d admit it.
I don’t really want to get into Pascal’s wager or anything. But seriously, what, if anything, would it take?
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Lot's of talk on the July Watchtower?
by noonehome inso i've heard lots of talk from within about the 'new light' in this watchtower...i'm yet to look at it in any detail.
i'm kind of surprised actually...i first heard about it here before it was even available but close to the time it did come out people started bringing it up - even our co.. some say things like "have you heard about this?
" or "big changes," or "allot of things they said we believed, i didn't realize,"(lots of that) or "brain-overload" or " too much information, but i've never felt more pumped up" or "it's soo exciting to see jehovah's spirit lead his organization..." or "it requires time to sink in, but it's a good feeling!
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noonehome
jwfacts: "A JW can remain in the doubting state for their entire life, or they can wake up at some point. It usually takes an emotional event of some sort to push them through the cognitive dissonance and start acting on their concerns."
Bingo. This has been my exact personal experience, although I'm not in any position to leave anytime soon, but you're completely right.
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Those who went to University whilst being a JW
by MMXIV ini've read a number of posts in the brief couple of years i've been on jwn of those that were brave enough to go to university whilst being a jw.. clearly this is a small fraction of those that wanted to go but couldn't or had the grades to go but accepted pioneering instead.. for those that did go to uni despite all the advice and pressure, why did you go?
what was the response when you broke the news?
how did it affect your relationships?
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noonehome
I finish my first year of a 2-year college program this week. When people found out a year ago there was allot of questioning as to if it was part time, and how long it would be, aren't student loans expensive, and if there are even any jobs... etc. I definitely felt like it made people uncomfortable, but now that I'm halfway finished I think more people are realizing how not big a deal it is and how short a period it is.
I'm still regular at meetings and participate in my 'privileges' and try and maintain enough service hours to fly under the radar. I think allot of the elders are kind of disappointed in me, because they see allot of 'potential' being... well, wasted. Elders are getting older and there aren't many worthy young men these days to succeed them. Not having a father figure, it's kind of hard to not let it affect me.
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55
Lot's of talk on the July Watchtower?
by noonehome inso i've heard lots of talk from within about the 'new light' in this watchtower...i'm yet to look at it in any detail.
i'm kind of surprised actually...i first heard about it here before it was even available but close to the time it did come out people started bringing it up - even our co.. some say things like "have you heard about this?
" or "big changes," or "allot of things they said we believed, i didn't realize,"(lots of that) or "brain-overload" or " too much information, but i've never felt more pumped up" or "it's soo exciting to see jehovah's spirit lead his organization..." or "it requires time to sink in, but it's a good feeling!
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noonehome
So I've heard lots of talk from within about the 'new light' in this watchtower...I'm yet to look at it in any detail. I'm kind of surprised actually...I first heard about it here before it was even available but close to the time it did come out people started bringing it up - even our CO.
Some say things like "have you heard about this?" or "big changes," or "allot of things they said we believed, I didn't realize,"(LOTS of that) or "brain-overload" or " too much information, but I've never felt more pumped up" or "it's SOO exciting to see Jehovah's spirit lead his organization..." or "It requires time to sink in, but it's a good feeling!" or "I have to study it more, because it's so different to what I thought we believed," etc.
People are just eating it right up. Slurping it up like a plate full of saucy spaghetti.
One of my MS friends seemed a little surprised/confused when I told him what it was about. One friend said "You know it's intense when there's a timeline," which was kind of funny the way he said it. Earlier he said something about how crazy some of the stuff we used to believe is when you "look back at old watchtowers," which piqued my attention but of course I couldn't say anything. He says things sometimes that convince me he's waking up and other times that there's no way. Another one of my buddies went staight to the website to download it on his iPad to see it for himself. He started quoting some of the things and the group fell silent at some of it.
I don't really know what to make of any of this. I guess just that it's interesting to see people think about things out only so far as is comfortable... and then abruptly stop to praise Jah and put their heads down for another slurp off the plate. Has this been other people's experience?
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There's this girl...
by noonehome inquick back-story: i'm pretty young...old enough to go to war but too young to buy a beer (if i were in the states..maybe i am maybe i'm not...) compredo?
so i've had allot of doubts, but figured it was a fault in myself until my best friend left a year ago and has since been labeled apostate.
i've never shunned him, in fact, i still see him a few times a month in secret.
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noonehome
Very good advice tiki. It's something I have to keep telling myself. I'm in college and busy with that but am just so unsure about everything. Feel like my life is a failure even though it's just starting. I'm so completely unmotivated right now...could be the depression but I'd like to think I'm stronger than it. My immediate goal is to finish college next year and move out. If I can travel somewhere in-between to get away that'd be great too.
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There's this girl...
by noonehome inquick back-story: i'm pretty young...old enough to go to war but too young to buy a beer (if i were in the states..maybe i am maybe i'm not...) compredo?
so i've had allot of doubts, but figured it was a fault in myself until my best friend left a year ago and has since been labeled apostate.
i've never shunned him, in fact, i still see him a few times a month in secret.
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noonehome
Ding
That hadn't even crossed my mind...I really doubt it but I guess you can never know. Thanks for bringing that to my attention, even though there's allot of trust I really must be careful with what I say. I do believe she must have some doubts though, like most Witnesses, but just can't come to grips with it. George Orwell expresses what I mean so much better in 1984. She has mentioned how nervous she is this time (she's gone before)..... but I really don't want to assume things. Like I said, she's a strong pioneer.
jgnat
Who knows. But I agree...we are still very much kids. Allot will change in 5 years. And I'm a decent enough fellow to know not to pursue anything...it wouldn't be fair to her or me.
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There's this girl...
by noonehome inquick back-story: i'm pretty young...old enough to go to war but too young to buy a beer (if i were in the states..maybe i am maybe i'm not...) compredo?
so i've had allot of doubts, but figured it was a fault in myself until my best friend left a year ago and has since been labeled apostate.
i've never shunned him, in fact, i still see him a few times a month in secret.
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noonehome
Quick back-story: I'm pretty young...old enough to go to war but too young to buy a beer (if I were in the States..maybe I am maybe i'm not...) Compredo?
So I've had allot of doubts, but figured it was a fault in myself until my best friend left a year ago and has since been labeled apostate. I've never shunned him, in fact, I still see him a few times a month in secret. Basically he's never tried to turn me, but we have open in-depth discussions. It's so nice to be able to do that. Anyways I'm still in and can't leave at this point. Don't know if I ever can... but I realize how easily things can hit the fan.
My struggles haven't gone unnoticed - the elders have been tracking me ever since the one time I briefly and vaguely opened up to my good MS friend. Also my ministry hours have been down, although I've gotten them back up sufficiently to keep under the radar. It's tough, I just want to be honest with the people I love but I know it'll cost me their love.
Which leads me to the reason I'm posting. Last night my very good friend who's a strong pioneer sister took me aside by our cars as we were leaving someone's house. She said she knew about how hard it must be for me since my best friend left....her oldest sister did the same. She asked me if he ever told me anything that has affected me. I didn't know what to say...I wanted so bad to just tell her what I've been going through, the things I've learned. After a bit of a pause I let her know that around the time this friend left I had spoken with him about it, as a friend, because I just couldn't treat him the way his family and every one else was. She briefly said something about shunning, in a way that kind of made me think she doesn't like the idea of it. I didn't tell her I still see him often. She asked me if I think about the things we talked about. I said it's impossible not to, but I have to try. I didn't know how to read this. I said that he hadn't tried to convince me to leave or showed me apostate literature...rather, that it's ok to ask questions, to look into things objectively. She was shivering like it was freezing, and I mean it was late but not that cold. I could tell she was nervous....I told her that it's hard to talk about this stuff because it's like walking on eggshells. Which is so true...I mean say one wrong thing and the sh*t hits the fan. She expressed how she felt about me sticking with it, that I'm "still here" despite that and the other things that have happened in my childhood involving my dad (which she doesn't really know about). I hugged her and told her I appreciated it, that's it's been important for me to be around the 'right' people, and that if she ever wanted to talk it's OK, and I'm here. Soon after we went our separate ways.
This whole moment had kind of taken me by surprise, but it left a deep impression. Ever since 'opening up my mind', I've had this strong suspicion that most JW's secretly have allot of doubts, but are too afraid to let them fester. It's just too scary to think about (I know this from my own experience). JW's believe very strongly there's nowhere else. I keep hearing that...'there's nowhere else.' Even she said it and all I could say was that this (being a witness) is a good thing...didn't know what else to say...
Anyways, hate rambling but it's just something I can't stop thinking about. She's said things before that have left me thinking, mostly jokingly, like her saying "I don't know WHAT I would do if you ever left!" or "You never know about people, like who knows, I could go in service all day as a show and then be looking at apostate websites behind closed doors (talking about herself)", or pointing out various old-testament atrocities she "needs to do more research on" or asking logical questions about things...haha after a conversation while watching Jurassic Park about Jehovah designing animals as carnivores and if they'll eat meat in the new system, she sent me a long email citing references from articles from like the 60's (she was disappointed she couldn't find more satisfying answers but left it as something we should not consume our time with, that we need to humbly accept what we don't understand etc.) Not sure what to take from all this, it's almost like she's been testing me, saying things for my benefit.... She's a VERY smart girl and means the world to me. Not sure if she realizes that or not... But she's one of the reasons I still try.
Soon she's leaving to go pioneer in a different country for almost a year. I'd like to think my situation will be the same when she comes back, but if I'm being honest here, anything can happen in that span of time. I'm having a very difficult time and can't say for sure I'll last till then, though due to circumstance I really must.
Before she leaves I'm planning on getting her a gift to bring along, with a letter. Not sure what I'll write, don't want to let anything out, but want her to know that she can talk to me no matter what happens in the next year, and that I care for her. Above all, I would really hate to make her feel the same unhappiness and despair I've been feeling. It's not up to me to try and convince her of anything. I think people are starting to notice my depression; I'm getting worse at hiding it. Thanks for listening everyone.
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Can't sleep. Anyone feel like talking/messaging?
by OneDayillBeFree ini've had a crappy day and feel like talking to someone who's out or knows ttatt.. i can only call or text posters in the u.s. but others outside the country can pm me for other ways of communicating.. this will be active for about half an hour to an hour right now but if it goes okay then i might do it again.. pm me if interested & i'll pm you my info..
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noonehome
I feel you..... actually I gotta get to bed because it'll be bright and early for my assembly (sigh). These days, seems like most days are crappy days, that I spend in a daze. Oh well. There are people here who understand oneother. Hope tomorrow's better for you! (Or I guess that'll still be today...but same goes for the ACTUAL tomorrow....jeez I should sleep.) Have a good night!