Posts by Xandria

The problem needs to be attacked at the root, but how can that happen? Is there any behaviour in children that might point to them one day being "Abusers", is there any way it can be spotted earlier and dealt with before it can do harm?

Well, we have to start with education our children .. because they are the future parents of the next generation. It starts with dealing with community issues, and helping parents learn to be better parents themselves. Parenting 101. Children don't come w/ instructions (although at times you wish they would). Also education those parents who cannot function in our society well. They have had problems with learning themselves.. or they have not been educated to earn a better living for their children. Continual learning should be made easily available to people.

If a parent is taught what to look out for .. and signs of mental instablity ( which can lead to all types of maligined behaviors.) For example. Serial Killer, Jeffery Dalmer he would torture animals, he had some signes of learning disablities and issues at school. If that was caught at the early stages .. he could of not turned out as he did.

Also the Health Educator and Educators .. need to be more aware with their students. But that is difficult when they have class rooms crammed to the capacities and only one teacher for 30 to 50 students.

Teachers are paid much too little.. ( but also they burn out and don't earn the raises.) we need to have incentives for good teachers. An better facilities for them to teach in.

Parents have gotten too used to letting the system teach their child about the facts of life and ethics. It takes a strong parental presence ( by strong parental presence, I mean a parent with good parenting skills.)and good teachers to turn out good children. But even then there are abnormalities with children.

That is where research is a necessary. Instead of just locking these people up. They need to be studied.. to find out why and how we are creating these people in society who go out and do these things.

Resources need to be made available to families on poverty levels and working parents, Education and Health care. Why should only the rich be able to afford the best ? An it should not have to bankrupt a parent to provide care for their child. I am not talking extravagant things I am talking every day things.Many children, I have dealt with have never been able to see a good doctor to test them or they are having to depend on over worked and crowded county hospitals, health care clinics.

Samantha Runnion was a 5 year old little girl who was abducted in California. Taken right off her front yard where she was playing a game w/ another 5 yr.old. Long story short she was raped and killed. They have someone in custody now. But it took the community coming together to catch him.

We have had a rash of child abductions here in the states. Recently, tonight they found the body of a little girl who was taken yesterday. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=32395&site=3

As for English law.. I would inquire on that there. I think they do have a option of holding someone for a mental health check if they are indeed a menace to society and themselves.

Xandria

28

My story - witchywoman

by witchywoman in

it has been many years since i was dsfsd, i have written this to my sister in hopes that she could understand some of the reasons that the relationship between my daughter and myself have been strained for so many years.

i thought that by posting this it might help someone else that might be going through some of the same things.. here is my story.hello, as i stated in my other e-mail i will dedicate this entirely to trying to explain my situation with my daughter.

i hope you don`t mind if it gets lengthy.as you probably already know i chose to be a jehovahs witness, and was one for more than 16 years.

Xandria

Welcome to the board .. Witchywoman. Your feelings within the marriage situation you had .. sounds so much like my mother's. She was very confused and lost.. I think all the strain of this and her life caused her to deteriorate mentally.

She was not a happy person. She had issues within her marriage that seemed like the more years that past the worse it got.

My mom, married my father when she was 17 years old and my father was in his 20's. My father came from Mexico.. and already was married once before. My mother was already very unhappy with her life. Her mom was highly abusive and her father was an heavy drinker. Her two older sisters got married at the age of 13 ( one who is my aunt had 8 children and is a JW to this day). I think they married early to get out of a terrible home life.

My mom and dad, divorced in 1976-77 mom was already pregnant with my sister. Even before the divorce from my father was finalized. Mom married the man who was the father, right after the divorce was final ( the ink had barely had time to dry on the final paperwork).

So from one marriage (she was unhappy with) into another. I think mom was pressured into the marriage. B/c of the factor of her being a single mom and her budding beliefs.. was the basis for this marriage. He was 20 years older than my mother.. he could of been her father! She was held "captive" by her beliefs. She too wanted to be a "good" JW wife and mother.

But also, I think she had some mental issues.. that were not resolved and when she did try ( I remember this well) the confidences she was sharing w/ the counselor was not kept and it caused her to stop trying.

Also the marriage dynamics.. was grossly unbalanced. I do believe my mother loved us.. but only in a very controlling and even violent way. I think that she felt so out of control herself... this was the only "control" she had and would use violence and fear to inforce it.

Anyhow several years of crazy things ... like me being parental kidnapping ( father did this b/c he felt it was the only recourse.), my return to my mother, the years of abuse and living in the campgrounds.. it all took it's toll. The marriage began to crumbly in 1990 ( the year I got married) .. my mother left ( my sisters and brother refused to go w/ her b/c she had no way of supporting them and they sided w/ their father) this was in late 1993. But it was too late.. she was very ill and returned.

My mother died .. in 1994 from Cancer. When I last saw her she was very retro-spective and realized that all this pain, hurt and sadness robbed her of the joys of life.

I told her she was right and got to share with her a truth I learned. If you allow negative things to have control.. and allow all this pain to turn to bitterness.. then you become no, better than the people that have inflicted the pain in the first place. B/c now that you are an adult and have control..you can choose. Even not making a choice.. is a choice. It is a choice to hide.

Ignoring the situation.. doesn't make it go away. That is why I applaud you for your choice to face it.. even if it is painful. Change sometimes is a painful process. I noticed on this board one thing.. we all come from different walks of life. But we have experienced much pain and sadness from the hands of people whose thinking has been molded by the WTS.

That is why I am greatful for boards like this. Makes you feel less alone.. and easier to find support when you are feeling particularly open and abused.

Once again welcome.

Regards,

Xandria

148

Share your funniest or cutest baby pics!!

by Solace in

jw
friends

seven recently posted some darling pics of himself as a baby!

sooo cute!

i thought it would be so fun to see everyones baby pictures!

Xandria

And of course .. the pony photo...

Rollercoaster... 1st time without a parent.

Xandria

Edited by - xandria on 27 July 2002 11:55:56

13

Austin Powers 3 - Too funny

by Xandria in

well i saw the movie tonight and let me tell you it was a non stop laugh fest.

funnier than the other two.

i would suggest the movie to 14 and up.. there is a bit of naughty humor.

Xandria

Just plain silliness is some times is needed to take the alien anal probe still stuck some where out ... and cut loose.

Again I would highly suggest the prision scene as funny. An ask please don't spit out the soda when laughing.

"You have the right to remain sexy sugar!" Foxy Cleopatra.

Xandria

8

My Artwork.

by Xandria in

http://www.geocities.com/xandria29/index.html?1027604260137.

my webpage....it has some racey drawings so if you are easily shocked don't go.

xandria

Xandria

Uhhh .. Spicey.. don't you see the link after the x's you see ? that is to my web page. lol

Xandria

32

Get aload of this..

by Xandria in

this is crazy.. just go under each topic on this sight and read.

it speaks on each topic we have touched on in this forum and bascially gives thier "answer" and thoughts as silly as some are.

xandria

Xandria

PS: Police also have the right.. to send someone for Observation for 3 days .. if he is showing to be mentally unstable. A danger to him and others, or will inflict harm to himself,etc.

X

32

Get aload of this..

by Xandria in

this is crazy.. just go under each topic on this sight and read.

it speaks on each topic we have touched on in this forum and bascially gives thier "answer" and thoughts as silly as some are.

xandria

Xandria

I can understand how emotional this issue can be and sadly many don't look at options when emotions are running high. We all make mistakes and just so we learn and go on that is fine. It is not my intention to offend either... it is to exchange ideals and perhaps find a better way of handling these issues.

If the elders .. spoke to the family, they may have suggested he go for "observation" where a psychologist evaluates him( someone outside of the Org so it is impartial).. they can keep him for several days to the max of 4 weeks. In that time, if they had found him with abnormal psychological issues or thoughts, then they could have pushed a longer stay and/or instutionalized him if it was really bad.

It would of been documented that this person had these tendencies and the courts from there can make a manditory ruling for treatment or jail if he refuses. They could of presented it in a way as to solve a problem. At least it is something even if it was documented that he "visited". Which can later be evidence.

Courts do not make decisions on psychological matters unless it can be proven this person is mentally ill and is a danger to himself or others. Laws are changing slowly.. and I think there should be a law that mandates that a person who is accused ( even falsely) have to go through evaluation. That way there is a paper trail.. and if it happens that the courts fail at least this person will be documented on his illness, and then the victim can push for action if the preditor does it again. Also it gives the victim and prior victim legal recourse for damages if it is proven later. I am sure there are thearapy bills that this perpetrator caused.

Under victim rights ( which is not always what it should be).. you can do a search to see if there is any documentation or cases pertaining to him under the freedom of information act. You can check past cases and if he has any recent .. you have to know which county it happened in.

Victim rights .. are what is also something else that should be worked upon. So that the victim can be notified that the person is out of jail. An if the accused has repeated the abuse with another victim.

I know that waiting on Jehovah is a comfort. But also taking an active role in changing things such as lobbying for laws and writing your congress representative pushing for stronger and better laws is how change happens. At least you know deep down in side you did everything humanly possible with the courts. But what about those who .. are still dealing with the issue of bringing thier abuser to justice or deal with the issues. It is important for us as a community to come together and help eachother out. Look at who they caught when they did.. they caught Samantha Runnion's murderer. If they did that all the time... watching out for eachother.. perhaps they can prevent it from happening.

Where the laws protect him/her and revictimize the victim ? I have see alot. My husband has a back ground too in working with Abused Children. He worked in a girls group home ( days for sometime and then worked part time production work. ) what he saw of the system ( made him ill at times) but there were small victories. He worked in Child Care and Advocacy until 1991. Me I stopped working for the District in 1998. Had enough of seeing the abuses and fighting only to see it continue on. I now write and try to get things changed, knowledge is the key and power to change.

Until laws change ( or we force change by asking our people in office to do their jobs) then these misrepresentations and failures in justice will happen. The same with the Elders, those who do not enforce justice ( in a correct way and not in kangaroo courts). The two witness "biblical law" is not going to help.

Xandria

13

Austin Powers 3 - Too funny

by Xandria in

well i saw the movie tonight and let me tell you it was a non stop laugh fest.

funnier than the other two.

i would suggest the movie to 14 and up.. there is a bit of naughty humor.

Xandria

Hey you were there with your son.. that is commendable. At least you were there to explain things. I had seen children there as small as 6 and they had questions or you can tell they did not fully understand things.

It was a great movie to blow of steam with. TOO funny. I am so glad you enjoyed it too.

Xandria

Grrr babbyy grrr right back at you.

Throw me a fricking bone here people... lol

Edited by - xandria on 26 July 2002 0:41:29

13

Austin Powers 3 - Too funny

by Xandria in

well i saw the movie tonight and let me tell you it was a non stop laugh fest.

funnier than the other two.

i would suggest the movie to 14 and up.. there is a bit of naughty humor.

Xandria

Well I saw the movie tonight and let me tell you it was a non stop laugh fest. Funnier than the other two. I would suggest the movie to 14 and up.. there is a bit of naughty humor. I will say they do take F. Bast**d to another level.

We are going to go see it again.. there is just so much .. and laughing so hard you miss some dialog.

The Prision scene.. OMG.. was laughing so hard tears were running down my face. People were stomping their feet and laughing so hard they were spitting out thier soda.

Xandria