Your wife is the key to you missing meetings... many on board have faded just by implying they are depressed, having so many pressures on them its hard to get ot the meetings and especially if the mate is sick.. you need to be there to assist in anyway you can..
I am sure, as an ex elder you have heard this yourself in conversations with those who are not regular meeting attenders - and as you know, these folks were talked about in the elders meetings as to their spirituality, not fully appreciating these folks saw the same thing you are now seeing for yourself..
Note that those who do fade, or those still in don't leave--( or many don't) --Jehovah... they are not Apostates if they don't believe the party line anymore.. and to saddle people with this term does them harm - as you will find out, if you haven't already... we became witnesses because we thought it was the truth, stayed for years, the truth today is not like it was even 10 year ago.."". those now living WILL die"", not " those now living will never die", which they changed to "those now living MAY never die" another eye opener- in the WT several years ago.
The word generation now known as contemporaries - (where they have made changes to support the Biblical wording) what a disgrace to the Bible where it does say time after time the word(s) "Generation" and Generation after generation" -- not "contemporary after a generation.....
You know too the private and confidential memos that go to the COBOE and elders to be discussed by the body but not to be read to the congregation i.e. increased funds to cover worldwide building work - page 2 - that after a period of time if the congregations was not making their resolution, the body would once again ask the congregation to submit new amounts to be covered. What did you think of that money grab?
When I came into the truth (or thought it was) the thing was that only contributions would cover costs -- no money would be asked of the congregation like the religions do!! Hasn't that changed!! and the WTBTS went to court years ago when the contributions were stopped to back an evangelist TV preacher.... Now its resolution after resolution -( If you don't put your hand up to agree, all eyes are upon you- guilt trip!).....and monies to be taken from the congregations and IF they need, it they can get it back!! What's chances.... WW building has been stopped.. Co's are on the hook if the elders make congregation mistakes...now with the increased spotlight on child abuse, over 1000 pedos in Australia (Royal Commission report on line from the court) may be investigated and victims to be paid... major cases found the WTBTS liable for payment in the US recently for millions...Britain is a hot bed for JW sexual predators (they are supposed to be setting up their own Commission) ..... and you wonder where money is going??
Rutherford said when the money stops, the preaching work will stop ... Jehovah will provide til then - apparently it is stopping.. they are taking money out of all the congregations accounts...leaving enough for 1 -2 months hall expenses ..
It is indeed a troublesome time for the society....
You should take your time and back out slowly