Ah, the awkwardness of JW’s having to interact with disfellowshipped people can be quite funny. I remember some months back when I was volunteering to help run the sign in table for a community event that encourages reading and a few JW’s showed up, and I could just feel the discomfort.
Saethydd
JoinedPosts by Saethydd
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7
Akward moment.
by poopie inhave a buddy that's disgellowshi and an uber driver and he is shunned like crazy.
recently he picked up jw that was forced to say hello and greet him akward..
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111
Is he interested?
by Sunnybear ini met a wonderful man on match.com several months ago.
on our first date, there was amazing chemistry and we ended up having sex.
it was not planned, it just happened.
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Saethydd
I told him I wanted to end it and he refused. He wants to keep seeing me and spending time together. He texts me all day and we see each other once a week.
This line is particularly troubling for me because it along with the other information tells me volumes about this man's character. In short he's selfish, he cares far more about his own feelings than yours. Additionally, he is coward that will not stand up for whatever it is truly believes in and that is why he won't openly enter a "relationship" with you right now.
Jehovah's Witnesses aren't supposed to date people who are not Jehovah's Witnesses, but if he's with you secretly and having sex with you, then he obviously doesn't care about violating those "moral" standards privately, only publicly when he would have consequences to face. That, in and of itself, is a dangerous mentality, it's the same one used by abusive mates who like to put on a front that everything at home is perfectly alright. If a man only puts on his moral standards when other people are around, then what's going to happen when he stops putting them on for you too?
The reason he asked you to "start meeting with his mom and another female JW to discuss the contents of the book" is because he wants them to convert you to his religion so that things will be less difficult on him, not because he cares about you. It's most definitely not because he thinks it's such great religion because if he did, not only would he be teaching you about it himself, but he also wouldn't be blatantly disregarding its rules.
My advice to you is to leave this relationship and find someone who wants to be with you as you are without having to change something so fundamental about yourself first, and someone who can be with you honestly and openly without fearing what other people will say or do.
It's your choice of course, that is just what I believe to be the wisest course of action, and I could be wrong about him, but I would exercise caution if I were you.
EDIT: Additionally, another option is open to you, you could try and get him away from this religion that he clearly doesn't want to be a part of deep down, because if I had to guess most of the emotional and commitment issues he has are probably stemming from that situation continuing, in any case it would be far better for both of you than you also getting sucked into the Orwellian night mare that is the JW religion.
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Have you ever gone back to a meeting out of curiosity?
by stuckinarut2 injust wondering if anyone has gone back to a meeting out of curiosity?
(perhaps to an area far from your old khall where you know no one).
with all the changes from 2012 onwards (videos, tv screens, new meeting format, new songs etc) it would be an odd experience to be in attendance!.
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Saethydd
I've thought about bringing my best friend to one just to see how many JW's would be slack-jawed when I walk in with my scruffy beard, shoulder length hair, and a girl on my arm who has several piercings, an undercut with a design shaved into it, and who would either be wearing a short dress or rather tight pants.
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What do I do ?
by jdash inhey guys, this is my first time posting on here but lets get started.. so i'm a 17 year old boy who currently attends meetings at a congregation in indianapolis.
i live with my grandparents, on my father's side, because my mother died in 2010. i been attending meetings since i was 10. my mother got into the religion but then got disfellowshiped.
my dad is on and off, he currently just got reinstated.
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Saethydd
I was in a similar position to you. I woke up in college, after I woke up I met the person who has turned out be my best friend, she gave me a place to stay when my parents made me leave.
For college you can try for scholarships, and if you live in the United States you should be able to fill out something called FAFSA, you might qualify for a Pell Grant or a federally subsidized loan to start your schooling. You said brother is disfellowshipped? Am I right in thinking that he's older? Maybe he could give you a place to stay through this, I would definitely talk to him about all f this.
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Friends
by Jrjw inhi does anyone have any ideas of good places for me to make non jw friends when i move coz need to replace all my jw friends for my kids and i ready for becoming inactive.
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Saethydd
My recommendation would be to find an activity you enjoy and start making friends there. I personally have made some amazing friends through my college classes, online video games, and fan conventions.
Perhaps you could take a local class in some hobby or skill like painting or cooking and try to meet people there. If you want to meet people with children so your own kids could make some friends too you could try becoming more involved in their education and extracurricular activities. If one of your kids joined a team of some sort that would give you an opportunity to meet the parents of the other children on the team.
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Did man really go to the moon?
by atomant inl have researched this subject and come to the conclusion that no we didn't.what do others think?.
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Saethydd
Pfffft. You believe in the moon? You poor ignorant soul.
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Birthdays are Evil - so they said
by EverApostate inlast week i celebrated my birthday.
accepted well wishes from people near and far.
had been happily accepting wishes from people since i quit the cult.. as a jw, (brainwashed ) belief that birthdays are evil was the stupidest belief i had in all my life.. when in, i had a hard time to explain to people that i don’t celebrate birthdays.
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Saethydd
You forgot an important part of birthdays that I discovered when I celebrated my own for the first time recently... the free drinks everyone buys you
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Merry Christmas to All!
by ttdtt injust wanted to wish all of you the best christmas / holiday / festivus, and a happy new year!only the second christmas i will be celebrating!.
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Saethydd
Merry Christmas everyone!
I’m enjoying my first Christmas immensely
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Visited My Grandfather
by Saethydd inmy grandfather is a longtime jw with advanced parkinson's.
on the advice of a good friend mine who is inactive but not "out" i went to visit him monday and we talked for awhile.
his health isn't well, but he was happy to see me.
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Saethydd
My grandfather is a longtime JW with advanced Parkinson's. On the advice of a good friend mine who is inactive but not "out" I went to visit him Monday and we talked for awhile. His health isn't well, but he was happy to see me. He seemed almost... proud of me for going to college and trying to do something useful with my life. As I was leaving I asked if I could bring a chess board by in a couple days and we could have a game. (He's always loved chess and used to play on a club in high school.) He seemed to be aware that I was disfellowshipped but wanted me to come anyway.
So I went back Wednesday and we played a bit, he's still pretty good for someone with dementia, though he did get confused on the pieces a few times. Things were going well, until my sister walked in, she didn't say anything just gave me a dark look and stormed out. I recall hearing the word "chess" come from the other room where she went to talk to my nuna (grandma). Anyway I didn't let her phase me and just finished my game with him, it was nice getting to see him again. As I was packing up the board he told me to come back again, but when I walked back through the house and said goodbye to my nuna, she asked that I not come to "play a game" with him again because she didn't think grandpa was fully cognizant and didn't want to "offend Jehovah."
I just wish my family could see how fucked up it is to worship a god that would be "offended" by a grandson spending quality time with his dying grandfather while he still could.
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Aliens
by Jayk ini thought i was weird that i believe in aliens.
until i remembered that people believe there is a god..
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Saethydd
I personally think it's fairly probable that alien lifeforms exist, even somewhat probable that alien lifeforms exist which would meet our definition of "intelligent." Hell, it's even possible (I put the probability around 1%-3%) that some alien abduction stories are real, granted there are a great many explanations that are far more likely and would need to ruled out before I took such a claim seriously.