I have been reading the various posts, but I haven't had any thoughts clearly together on this, so I've refrained from adding anything.
I don't know if I have a clear concept of it even now; however, I'll express a few thoughts.
I tend to agree with Frenchy in much of this. I've found from my own experience that things I have had to endure have made me stronger, and I've also found that as the years have passed, I've met others who are going through similar things. Because of my having experienced such things previously, I'm able to offer some help and understanding.
Does this make it fair? Definitely not, but I do feel a sense of comfort knowing that I might possibly have been able to lessen someone else's pain by relating my own experiences.
Conversely, I have often prayed for strength and received it. I have prayed for comfort and received it. I have prayed for very specific material needs, and I have received these also.
I have tapped into healing forces beyond my abilities alone, and helped animals to recover from illness and injury.
Perhaps part of the answer is that God is allowing us to grow....allowing us to combat evil....allowing us to transcend mere humanity to reach out and comfort others who are suffering so that they, too, may grow strong and help others in turn.