Mozzie, I am an ex JW who now goes to a liberal protestant church. Stop letting the high control group Jehovah's witnesses make you feel guilty. They don't really have anything to offer, they just always make you feel like you are not enough, and they take take take. 20 faithful years with your partner IS a marriage. I wish your mate would come around because there are financial and security benefits to being legal, but dont feel guilty if she doesn't. You are not living in sin if you have been faithful 20 years!! If I were you I would try other churches. Most will not love bomb you like a cult will but don't let that put you off. Get involved with some of their community efforts such as helping the poor and you will feel a part of their family quickly. And yes, keep reading the Bible from different perspectives, try getting a reference bible. This will help you read scriptures without the twists witnesses give to them, but with a different view. Drop the guilt and just be a happy father and husband and try to help others. You are a good man!!!
FayeDunaway
JoinedPosts by FayeDunaway
-
20
Hello Everyone
by Mozzie inhoping this is the right section..... my story so far,,,.
hello everyone, i have been reading a lot on what most jws would say apostate websites, but i have been asking myself, how much of this s true and considering a lot of these are run by ex jw elders, bethalites and one who was with the gb at one stage, overseers and the like.
i was an unbaptized publisher many years ago but never got to the point of baptism as i fell into sin, that pretty much ended my attending meetings again.
-
-
-
23
Guess who is getting announced as no longer being a JW
by atacrossroads innot me surprisingly.
i thought i would be the one to go first.
this coming week my hubby is being announced as no longer being a jw.
-
-
FayeDunaway
Well I guess you are at a crossroads no more!!! You and your husband have made your choice, and you have chosen freedom and a full life for your daughter!! Often having a child makes a parent a fighter and protector. Your husband had chosen to be a good dad and stand up for what's right!!
I know it hurts to tell your parents the truth, but for your own family's sake what had to be done is done. Congrats, both of you.
-
7
Happy Independence Day!!
by Gayle in"freedom is a grand thing to celebrate!
" we came from a culture that we couldn't be 'independent.
' but we made it!
-
-
FayeDunaway
Gayle, it's true, tho growing up in a 'free country' we weren't free!
Freedom feels fantastic now!!
I bought a 'Live Free' T-shirt a couple years ago. This year I got a patriotic/silly Darth Vader/Uncle Sam shirt that says 'I want YOU (to come to the dark side.' Which for an ex witness had two significant allusions..:).
Every election day I wear my 'Let your voice be heard.' T shirt.
These things mean a lot to me.
Happy INDEPENDENCE DAY, everyone!! And if you aren't free now, hopefully you are working towards it in your own way!
-
33
Musicians Who Died in the Last Year - or Through the Years- Who Do you Miss Most ?
by flipper ini think for me in the last year the death of david bowie got to me the most.
not only in the way he handled his demise so classy by even making a song about it and a you tube about dying and sharing it with fans, but just his whole persona i always thought was pretty cool.
plus i enjoyed a good many of his songs.
-
-
FayeDunaway
Bowie. I agree with you flipper. I've always been a big fan and it hurts that he's gone.
-
62
How do you deal with depression?
by BlackWolf ini'm currently going through a bout of depression and my eating disorder has gotten worse.
ever since my parents actually told me that they are going to kick me out when i turn 18 i've felt kind of hopeless about my life.
my parents won't take me to the doctor because the psychiatrists won't have my "best interests" aka jw crap in mind, because really that's the root of all my problems.. i'm wondering if any of you guys have any advice with dealing with depression?
-
-
FayeDunaway
Your parents are trying to manipulate you into obedience. Like that's going to somehow put loyalty to the religion in your heart. In their weird world they believe that's going to work. But come your 18th birthday (which, being witnesses, they won't even acknowledge), I am pretty sure they won't say anything right away. You will probably have more time than that. But be prepared if the worst happens. I know you re going to finish high school early, so get a job and save your money like mad. Work on that relationship with your aunt via Facebook. Try to think positively about your situation. You have freedom in front of you, and believe me, it's going to feel miraculous. Don't get involved in drinking and drugs or falling for the wrong kinds of partners, it would be easy to go that route. Concentrate on things you love, like Art and develop your curiosity about everything you could learn about. Enjoy your freedom fully in good ways, like getting involved in environmental activism, politics, or just celebrating holidays or going out dancing. I'm excited for you. You will have times of missing your parents in your life, but because you were never baptized, maybe they won't be out of your life. They are going to miss you too, and might find ways to make it work.
-
7
Cult memories extinguish good memories
by rebel8 ini have this thing.
i don't know why it is or how to stop it.
every time i happen to daydream about something positive from my childhood, some related cult aspect comes to mind and extinguishes it like a candle is being blown out.. for a while, i thought this was anger and resentment causing me to want to find an excuse to be angry (not that i need one).
-
-
FayeDunaway
I think that's a pretty normal mind process, rebel8. Past memories usually bring us to more recent memories. I can't think of my favorite teddy bear and how I used to cuddle with it without remembering that it's now missing an eye and up on the shelf.
Some of us who have bad memories that outnumber the good ones work hard at making new memories that are good ones. Especially if we have kids, cuz we want to give them different lives than we had.
-
13
Being a Socially Inept ex-JW
by LaurenM inso i'm absolutely clueless concerning relationships.
i had barely any friends at all growing up a jw kid & absolutely no interaction with "worldly" people or any guys whatsoever.
i have had a relationship of sorts with a guy for 4.5 months now, but i'm so clueless!
-
-
FayeDunaway
Lauren I'm glad you're ok! You went through a very bad time there and I'm glad you seem better and are trying to figure out how to improve your life.
I'm with rebel8. Talk openly with this boyfriend of 4.5 months, let him know you don't want to crowd him but also not be too distant, and because of your background and inexperience, you might need some clues as to how much is just right. But how much YOU want is also important too, don't feel like you're a slave to whatever this guy wants. Relationships are all about balancing needs and compromising.
-
135
I've been found out!
by pale.emperor inwell, thats it folks.. my identity on here has been rumbled and reported to the elders.
someone, somehow, has figured out that im a member of this site and - rather than speak to me - has promptly reported me to the elders.
i just feel sad for my daughter.
-
-
FayeDunaway
Hey lurking elder spies!! It's actually a lot happier out here. Don't be afraid.
-
10
My wife blew my mind, Seth Andrews, and more....
by pronomono inso i recently had the opportunity to hear seth andrews speak in person at a local unitarian universalist church.
for those of you who know my past, i've had a bit of a difficult time dealing with the emotional aspects of a fade with a wife that says she believes but doesn't put forth the works that demonstrate that faith.
we've kind of been in a rocky point in our relationship because we've both been afraid to test the waters on where each of us stand.
-
-
FayeDunaway
I get goosebumps every time I read on here that someone is having success getting through to their spouse or child. "Bring it."?? I love her!!
-
135
I've been found out!
by pale.emperor inwell, thats it folks.. my identity on here has been rumbled and reported to the elders.
someone, somehow, has figured out that im a member of this site and - rather than speak to me - has promptly reported me to the elders.
i just feel sad for my daughter.
-
-
FayeDunaway
It sounds like it might be too late, like you have already admitted it was you. Do you know how they found out? That's kind of creepy.
Sometimes ripping off the bandaid makes the pain shorter than tearing it off slowly. I wish you luck, PE. (And you haven't been disgusting!!)