Apostrate thanks for noticing my username :). I think of it more like 'faded, done, and away' since I've already faded. No more pretending from me at all, ever again. whew! i like to be a really authentic person, so fading was soooooo difficult it almost drove me crazy.
Im sorry you had a dysfunctional family. I hope you've been able to surround yourself with healthy relationships now. My parents and brother treat me as almost disassociated, since I barely made it out without being disassociated and they know my position on doctrine and their policies. I hear about family emergencies and not much more. I don't like being the black sheep of the family, I always tried to make everyone happy and be a good girl, but eventually you have to live your own life according to what you want and feel is right. So that is my status, and will stay until the WT gets a heck of a lot more liberal. I'm not holding my breath. Breathing deeply, enjoying the freedom. But yeah, it does hurt to be cut off. I'm very sorry about your close friend. It's not fair that this religion separates people because of personal beliefs. It's not right.