Lauren I'm glad you're ok! You went through a very bad time there and I'm glad you seem better and are trying to figure out how to improve your life.
I'm with rebel8. Talk openly with this boyfriend of 4.5 months, let him know you don't want to crowd him but also not be too distant, and because of your background and inexperience, you might need some clues as to how much is just right. But how much YOU want is also important too, don't feel like you're a slave to whatever this guy wants. Relationships are all about balancing needs and compromising.