Posts by Adumbra

25

A Question About Shunning

by Adumbra in

much has been said on what it is like to be shunned but i would like to hear from the other side of the practice: what is it like to shun?.

just to give you my perspective: i was raised a jw, but was never baptized and in fact i was only a real zealout for about 2 years of my life.

for this reason when a friend of mine was disciplined for marijuanna possession it never even occured to me that i should shun him (i visited him the day after it was announced at the meeting to cheer him up).

Adumbra

Thank you, everyone, for your replies.

I am actually happy to see that people who practiced shunning did not feel good about it and most felt very uncomfortable. It shows that no matter how deeply a person has been brainwashed, their essential humanity will still assert itself. I'm not a fan of Saint Paul, but one thing he said I do hold as truth: "Love conquors all!". Love conquors all for the simple reason that it feels better to love than to hate. This is a powerful emotion the WTB&TS is attempting to exploit and it won't surprise me when their shunning policy eventually backfires on them.

If you are no longer in the organization, please make the effort to smile and say "Hi." to all of your friends and family memers who are still inside. Don't give up no matter how uncomfortable it is for you or them. If they get into trouble, let them know that you are there for them always. I believe that if enough of us ex-JWs carry out such a campaign our love and devotion will overcome the WTB&TS's fear tactics every time. Even if you no longer have faith in God, have faith in love. If you do have faith in God, then you already have all you need.

~Shalom

15

Missing family dearly

by Freeof1914 in

hey people it's been a tough couple of weeks for me, my wife and i have seperated i expected this, but it has been much more difficult than expected.

my family has gotten a million times more distant because of my inactive status and questioning ofthe org.

i do have wordy friends but still feel pretty bad being alone i have even contemplated returning to meetings for the sole purpose of not losing y family and life, but i cannot fathom the thought of bowing down to their rules and sacrificing my own integrity.

Adumbra

You have my sympathy. I'm grateful to have gotten out before I started a family, but it was still an ordeal even then. I can only imagine what it must be like to loose a wife too (any children?).

I have even contemplated returning to meetings for the sole purpose of not losing y family and life, but I cannot fathom the thought of bowing down to their rules and sacrificing my own integrity.

Integrity can have different layers of meaning. I think real integrity is being honest with yourself, not necessarily with others. I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and suggest that a false repentance for the sake of seeing your family again might not be a bad choice. God knows I've often wondered what could have been if I had swollowed my pride and returned to the fold when doing so would have been credible. True, I've made friends since my departure from the organization. But I could have just as easily stayed in the Watchtower, kept my JW friends, and also made friends 'in the world' to boot.

Well, whatever you decide, good luck to you. If you still believe in God, may he guide your way.

25

A Question About Shunning

by Adumbra in

much has been said on what it is like to be shunned but i would like to hear from the other side of the practice: what is it like to shun?.

just to give you my perspective: i was raised a jw, but was never baptized and in fact i was only a real zealout for about 2 years of my life.

for this reason when a friend of mine was disciplined for marijuanna possession it never even occured to me that i should shun him (i visited him the day after it was announced at the meeting to cheer him up).

Adumbra

Much has been said on what it is like to be shunned but I would like to hear from the other side of the practice: What is it like to shun?

Just to give you my perspective: I was raised a JW, but was never baptized and in fact I was only a real zealout for about 2 years of my life. For this reason when a friend of mine was disciplined for marijuanna possession it never even occured to me that I should shun him (I visited him the day after it was announced at the meeting to cheer him up). However, as an ex-JW (not sure if I can technically be called an apostate since I wasn't baptized) I am most certainly shunned by everyone I was close to in my congregation, which causes me to wonder: Do these people miss me as much as I miss them? Do they ever think of me?

If you have ever shunned a person I would like to know how it felt from your end. Did you feel a lot of anxiety and inner conflict over it? What exactly did you feel? Or did being a JW somehow reduce the stress you whould have otherwise felt. Did you feel anything at all?