Warm welcome from down south, time to enjoy the rest of your life. Realise you have been a victim of "othering' as demonstrated by the film ' The Village' the world outside isn't actually really scary it's just made up of humans doing their best to negotiate the tricky game of life, not some debauched subspecies fit only for annilation which the WT would have you believe.. As for apostate the WT definition is surprise surprise a false one, they would consider anyone who leaves to have this label its further examples of smoke and mirrors to keep you in. Just brush it off it isn't worth worrying about.
SummerAngel
JoinedPosts by SummerAngel
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Hi from England
by victimofdeceit inrecently quit being a jw because i realised that beyond armageddon i was going to be ruled by people who cover up child abuse, not telling the congregations by their letter where the money they donated in the box is going towards paying compensation for legal battles which they caused, and also i was bullied by elders and discriminated against for being homosexual, even though i am not practicing it.
it wasn't until i threatened legal action for a breach of confidence that the elders were deleted.
so through the media and my own personal experience, i realised that they were no different to corrupt businesses in the world.
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What Simple Pleasures Do You Enjoy Since Leaving Watchtower?
by pale.emperor inwhat simple pleasures do you enjoy since leaving watchtower?
here's some of mine, in no particular order:.
a cigar: i dont smoke cigarettes at all, but i do enjoy a good cigar from time to time.
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SummerAngel
So many its been 30 years but the novelty of some things never goes. I never attempted to play by the rules anyway so I didn't have that now I can drink, shag, do drugs thing.
Mine would be going to church when I want to, wearing shorts, leggings, jeans to church why does everyone in the Borg dress like they're going to a 1980s wedding. I love bunking church just caused a can. I love Saturday mornings to shop and do family stuff. Doing family stuff on Sunday afternoons. The endliss mindliss pharasaic list of stupid rules to keep up with. Celebrating my wonderful kids birthdays making them feel special. I love Christmas, and decorating the tree, choosing the little presents for people. Going to firework displays, having my kids celebrate mothers day.
Feeling good enough. Enjoying grace and tolerance.
And overall a celebration of life and love in all its glorious colours instead of focusing on how terrible the world is and how glad we should be that its all ending.
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Returning to the truth.
by Justmeok2 inhi i am just starting to rebuild my relationship with jehovah.
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i would like to hear from people who may be or have been in similar situations and now want to dedicate their lives to him..
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SummerAngel
Should read why they don't exist for other religion's -
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Returning to the truth.
by Justmeok2 inhi i am just starting to rebuild my relationship with jehovah.
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i would like to hear from people who may be or have been in similar situations and now want to dedicate their lives to him..
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SummerAngel
Just to add you need to ask yourself why these sites don't exist for other religions
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Returning to the truth.
by Justmeok2 inhi i am just starting to rebuild my relationship with jehovah.
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i would like to hear from people who may be or have been in similar situations and now want to dedicate their lives to him..
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SummerAngel
Hi, if you are thinking of returning bear in mind a few things, firstly it's almost a 1 way ticket, once back in they will be watching you like a hawk, having almost lost you once the E men will mark your card. There are alternatives to Jesus other than bitterness and disbelief. You will find lots of that on these sites- you need to ask why so many feel this way, why so many who leave want nothing to do with God.
I actually think posting that all region is a farce etc is counterproductive. If you are thinking of studying you still have some residual belief.
Your salvation is not a hobby or a social club it is arguably the most important decision you will make.
Research in books and sites isgood bu there is too much information to do more than get an overview. I would take time to pray and think. I would also suggest visiting a few evangelical Christian churches give a about 3 go's as culturally it will feel odd and different. Look for the gentler more liberal one's the last thing you need is more high control. I would suggest you look at the following and compare with your experience of KH and also what you read in the bible:
Is the leadership gentle, consistent and understanding?
Do they encourage you to read and research for yourself
Does the teaching embraced and forgiveness to all not just their own people?
What is the attitude to kids, old and sick, wider community.?
Are the services run for the convenience of the organization or are the congregation looked after- parking, creche, welcome, plenty of chairs.
Do they serve good cake and coffee- this is the most important one by far
Church isn't perfect its a hospital for the spiritually sick rather than a museum of saints but culturally it's a million miles from KH. I love the informality, consideration towards congregation in loads of little ways ( esp cake), sense of a wider community resource and doctrinal it's so straight forward no stupid numerical lectures and deep heavy applications of revelation.There are people into that stuff and they can get books and research but it isn't essential for salvation just a basic belief . There's no checking up, shunning and confessional the ethos is simply if you want to be here you will be. And guess what do people descend into debauchery without a big JW stick no they actually have higher standards because they are motivated from within not beaten from outside.Apologies for long post .
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Do you feel comfortable being an apostate?
by Chook ini always found it uncomfortable to informal witness to people but trying to convince a jw to jump ship brings much more pleasure..
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SummerAngel
're comments from Slimboyfat I so agree about the normal thing. This is the best way to challenge the false idea that once you leave your life deteriorates and that professor need JH. By continuing to be the same or better especially if life goes well for you you help create cognitive dissonance in them. I do feel there is pressure once out to be extra helpful kind and non judgmental that's never gone in almost 30 yrs out.
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JWs biggest problem is not doctrinal issues
by Chook init's biggest problems are associated with its lack of genuine love and concern for the rank& file.
the average person doesn't need a food critic to tell them their hamburger is shit, in the same manner the average person can discern kindness and love.
gbs fake love and concern is evident in the way head office deals with victims of sexual abuse by jw clergy.
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SummerAngel
If you are not one of them you rant eternity you are the 'infidel' no matter how nice or closely related you are. If you haven't got your paradise pass why would they bother with you. My own mother told me this when I left. She said 'we will in paradise without you but it doesn't matter because we won"t remember you ever existed. This is one of the most vile worldwide cults out there. There is no love in it at all. -
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JWs biggest problem is not doctrinal issues
by Chook init's biggest problems are associated with its lack of genuine love and concern for the rank& file.
the average person doesn't need a food critic to tell them their hamburger is shit, in the same manner the average person can discern kindness and love.
gbs fake love and concern is evident in the way head office deals with victims of sexual abuse by jw clergy.
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SummerAngel
I so agree with comments from us facts, it's taken me years to see this but arguing doesn't work because for a start their bible is crooked and they don,t accept any alternative so the source is erroneous. I've spent hours arguing on the doors with them but it becomes scriptural ping pong Far better to challenge ethos and culture I also like to Chuck in the prodigal son when they try and make a case for shunning. I have always enjoyed winding people up by fighting hate with love it's hilarious they can't handle it. I find dropping into conversations examples of goodness and tolerance from 'wordings" to gradually chip away and use phrases like it's who not what someone is that matters is quite good.
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Really struggling to go on
by Isambard Crater inso, so much has happened in my life over the years and continues to happen, but i won't go into the details as it would take a long time.. i don't really know why, but i returned to "the truth" 15 years ago.
in 2012 when the tv broadcasting station launched, i started to develop doubts.
the australian royal commission and other scandals made me angrier, and i now don't believe most of the core teachings.. the only reason i show up at 5 or 6 meetings each month is to keep in contact with my parents and a few other family members.. but it's killing me, literally.
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SummerAngel
Hi isambard, with regard to jw situation keep going I agree with earlier poster it is a slog but worth it. Many people are sincere but sincerity doesn't equal truth. These sites can at times be extremely and understandably vitriolic but honey catches more flies than vinegar. One of the many JW falsehoods is if you leave your life will descend into a drug, sex and alcohol fuelled hell with no moral compass. I feel the strongest card you can have is to continue to demonstrate to parents/other JWs that life outside does have actually a better moral compass etc in other words "worldly' people are actually leading a better happier life without the organisation. I do far more for my parents now than my brother who is still in it, I never play the religious card I simply say I want them to feel looked after. I constantly drop into the conversation examples of friends generosity or help and bits of my own life philosophy- such as I believe what goes around comes around, I value people for who not what they are that sort of thing, I try and be gentle and respectful. I've found by gently challenging their stereotypes generated by WT you can introduce doubt into JW thinking, they are victims too just willing ones, although before anyone says it we do all have choice and when I left I was aware I could lose my family and did for a while but I couldn't stay in something I didn't believe in and yes I would describe the feeling as literally being pulled out of it. You have choices and options stay strong these forums are full of 1000,s of survivors all happier for leaving. Xx
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Really struggling to go on
by Isambard Crater inso, so much has happened in my life over the years and continues to happen, but i won't go into the details as it would take a long time.. i don't really know why, but i returned to "the truth" 15 years ago.
in 2012 when the tv broadcasting station launched, i started to develop doubts.
the australian royal commission and other scandals made me angrier, and i now don't believe most of the core teachings.. the only reason i show up at 5 or 6 meetings each month is to keep in contact with my parents and a few other family members.. but it's killing me, literally.
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SummerAngel
Hi Isambard. I haven't posted before but feel moved to after your story. Firstly I just want to share briefly where I come from, I left via fading approx 1990 I've been evangelical christian since this isn't about a preach though its a about trying to suggest practical help. I am fortunate i still have good contact with my parents who are in it probably because i was never bapped.
I know people here are are quick to say leave and bugger the consequence, you need to be mentally strong to leave. I am also a mental health professional and would suggest you speak to your GP about antidepressants, they aren't the sole answer but counselling around leaving cults is quite specific and may well be useful later. Start to gather a plan for leaving, this will help you feel in control , when people feel they have no way out that's when the dangerous options seem appealing. I would suggest a 3 prong approach: firstly start to further reduce your involvment be inactive attend less and less, skip assemblies and socials have a job that requires you to work Sundays that sort of thing.
Secondly start to research online various sites like jw facts this will help you to support your reasons that you are doing the right thing and also you may be surprised by the amount of people that have already left and how good they feel now.
Lastly build a life outside- cultivate outside friends attend non he socials maybe even the odd birthday drink with a colleague which will feel odd at first but it passes. Take up a hobby, if you missed out on higher ed start to look into that just start to get a feel for life outside and all its fullness but I would do this gradually its a big change but absolutely for the better I've never met anyone who regretted leaving. Personally I wouldn't disclose to family or any jws yet its too fragile, let them work it out again this puts you in control. Hope that helpsx