Thanks Found Sheep!
Is it bad that I want to serve him his divorce papers during his meeting? LOLOL!
*told you I was obnoxious*
SophieG
JoinedPosts by SophieG
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SophieG
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SophieG
Sophie's Choice
I consider myself born is only because my mom had been studying on and off prior to my birth. I grew up the perfect JW kid…the type that was on assembly/convention programs. I left when in my teens because I wasted to pursue music…elder came to the house and told me ‘I could not serve Jehovah and do that’ and I said: “Well I guess I won’t serve Jehovah then!” I should have known THEN that I would not fit in. Being sheltered did not prepare me for life in the world and I came flying back to the “truth” a few years later. I started studying, but I told the sister if I found a hole in this I am out of here.
Well it took me 20 years to find a flipping hole, and the hole was ME!
I am sorry, but the constant studying, meeting, service eventually wore me out. I was not progressing no matter how hard and sincerely I tried. I never could understand the logic that if you were slowing down in sacred service you needed to give something else up to make room to do more. What the heck did I have to give up? I have no time to live! So I decided to stop service first: I just woke up one Saturday and decided: Heck I am not going. Then next with the meetings…I would go…get the first paragraph on the Book Study, then I would just zone out thru the TS/SM. I was soooo exhausted. Then I’d be angry asking myself: why the heck am I here? The Sunday meeting: I could not wait for it to be over.
The surprising thing is when I gave this all up, I started feeling better, less depressed, sleeping better, lost weight, my overall life changed, I was really really happy! I never THOUGHT I was fading, but I realize now I gradually started doing this about 5 years ago and now I am consciously walking away.
I guess I have always been “rebellious” in nature. Mine would show up in me making smart remarks to elders (LOL… they like me, but think I am pretty obnoxious), always asking: “who says”, rolling my eyes AT some brother who makes some non scriptural comment from the platform, challenging them to do better… (I was an abused spouse), ignoring the slave when they TELL ME and not to do something like *GASP* read “apostate sites”. Really? I guess in a nutshell I am not easily controlled! I never liked that folks could not seem to think for themselves and that if you had an opinion you could not voice it. I learned a valuable lesson when I stated that I thought the WTBS acted more like a business…I never knew THAT was a no-no to say. As far as the inconsistencies in prophecy and doctrine, I never paid much attention…the 1914 thing NEVER MADE SENSE TO ME and to this day I will never be able to explain it to anyone. I always had an issue with only JWs surviving Armageddon and would joke with my JW friends that if we are the only folks going to the other side then I wasn’t going and I would happily wait for my fireball!!!
For me, the ORG was about relationships, family and friendship.
I am the lone ranger in my family right now, but that’s ok. I just can’t help making “bad associations”! LOL! I am a real people person and I have a great network of decent “worldly” people around me! Plus my family tends to be a bit more accepting of people and tolerant of me. So far they have just let me be!
I am still distantly attached to the ORG because of my mother, who I think has always sensed I was of a different temperament. She recently asked me to just wait till she’s dead to do anything crazy. I am trying to respect her wishes. I refuse if at all costs to allow them to DF or DA me. I feel like this is a personal choice and there is absolutely no reason WHY my family should have to suffer. I think if you find that WTBS does not work for you, you should be able to say that and move on. But I realize that fear, that if you walk away and TALK you may influence others. Frankly they need to get over it, because if this IS THE “TRUTH”, they should have nothing to worry about, right?I have been reading posts here and other sites and I am truly fascinated by what I have found. I read COC and was like WOW….parts of it brought me to tears. I have to admit, that my brain has been fried for the last month just from reading all I could get my hands on, I thought I was going to lose my mind. But now that the fog is clearing, I see that I can’t be part of that. It is inhibiting the type of life I know I am supposed to live. That kind of control is too dark and twisted…It's not true, it's deceiving people, plus....it will kill me to stay!
I am leaving my jacked up marriage to a uber JW husband, he is a complete nut job….blowing off the judgmental JWs and slowly regaining MY DO OVER! I can’t wait to interact with you guys! Let the fun begin!!!
Sophie -
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SophieG
Thanks jgnat! I do have a plan.....trust me!
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SophieG
"wondering how you plan on swinging not losing your loved ones? Take it you are a "fader""
Yes Lost Sheep! I am...I did not realize I was until recently....
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SophieG
Thanks guys...I have know idea what was wrong...switched to another computer.
Oracle:hmmm...I talk A LOT...
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SophieG
I am swearing very loudly in my head!!! LOL!
HI EVERYONE! What I was TRYING TO SAY WAS: I will share my story...it's hilarious... at a later date. But now that I am here I just wanted to say for the record!
THERE AINT NO WAY IN HE-ELLLE (exaggerated form of hell) I AM GOING TO ALLOW THESE PEOPLE TO TAKE AWAY THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS THAT I LOVE...just because I CHOOSE to leave this madness. AINT NO WAY!!!!!With that said I am a born in, (whole family is in), left as a teen...WENT BACK (OH JESUS) and 20 years later I am like WTH?
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SophieG
See....
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