Posts by cog_survivor

23

Does the WTBS emphasize these two verses for control?

by cog_survivor in

something i came to understand that the worldwide church of god did effectively was to cut people off from from their feelings and intellect in favor of the "appropriate" thoughts and feelings.. how they did this was by frequently emphasizing these two verses:.

proverbs 3:5 - trust in the lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.. jeremiah 17:9 - the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?.

by means of these two verses i was taught not to trust myself with regards to either my ability to reason or if my gut was telling me something was wrong.. i was wondering if these two verses were emphasized for jws as well..

cog_survivor

Something I came to understand that the Worldwide Church of God did effectively was to cut people off from from their feelings and intellect in favor of the "appropriate" thoughts and feelings.

How they did this was by frequently emphasizing these two verses:

Proverbs 3:5 - Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

Jeremiah 17:9 - The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

By means of these two verses I was taught not to trust myself with regards to either my ability to reason or if my gut was telling me something was wrong.

I was wondering if these two verses were emphasized for JWs as well.

51

Hot of the Press!!! YEARBOOK 2013 :Letter from the Governing Body

by raymond frantz in

yearbook 2013 :letter from the governing body.

dear brothers and sisters :our heavenly father,jehovah, is the personification of love.hence the bible states :"god is love".

(1 john 4:8) even though jehovah is almighty ,his word never says ,"god is power" or , "god is might".he bases his rule primarily on love.how this attracts us to him!.

cog_survivor

Yikes! I read this letter as incredibly manipulative. Its bad enough that the GB controls by fear but now they add the requirement that you love them for it. So anytime some poor follower feels less than loving towards God as portrayed by them, he's going to get a nice extra of mental torment of thinking he isn't motivated by love to serve the GBs dictates.

It makes me think of the abuser who says, "If you love me, you would want to.... (you can pick what ever abuse you like. I'm thinking, "work yourself into the ground", "be grateful for the pain I'm inflicting because I'm saving you from some future horror....)"

174

Good Reasons To Hate Every Weak And Ex-Jehovah Witness.

by AuntConnie in

1. my husband's time is finite, it's wasted on spouses arguing over money, sex or family mattters with stupid home visits.. .

i hate people's constant open hand for money, it's the weak individuals asking others to pull their weight.

my family worked extra hours instead of begging the strong members for district assembly money, cat food for seven cats or tiny little rag-a-muffins weiner dogs.. .

cog_survivor

Hi AuntConnie,

I'm not a JW nor an X-JW. You've got yourself in a bit of a headlock with this stuff haven't you?

Since you can't take the bigger steps maybe a baby step is in order. Get the book "Boundaries" by Townsend. Then start applying the principles involved. It won't fix everything but it will help you to feel more in control.

43

i called a therpist today any advice

by unstopableravens in

this is new to me,im a little nervous, its for me and than later for family, wifey does not like the idea because its not the elders,and she doesnt want the org to look bad.

she more worried about them than our marriage ,im only doing this for us and my sanity,whats you guys thoughts?.

cog_survivor

That's great! Therapy has helped and is still helping with issues from my cult past. Just don't be surprised that other baggage may show up as well. In my case I'm still working through some family issues that contributed to my parent getting involved with cult.

Be patient with yourself. It takes a while to unlearn and relearn but this is a postive step towards healing.

So glad the person you are seeing is familiar with JWs that will help a huge amount. Can't tell you how much time I had to spend trying to make the ones I've seen understand.

Don't be surprised if the wife is closed off and rejecting during the session. I dragged my Mom with me to one of mine and even though I tried to make it as non-threatening as possible (no accusations, trying to explain how I feel and what I want from life) it was like having teeth pulled without anesthetic. I second what "Left in the Cold" says. Keep any sessions with the wife low level about the JWs.

25

Why does my mom shun my Son?

by trujw in

i have never understood one thing about jws.

ok i am not a witness but what has my son done?

he is an innocent child.

cog_survivor

IMHO it is part and partial to every cult to close one's eyes to the difficult reality of a christian life.

The person you don't have a relationship with is a heck of alot easier to try to "save" and rack up points for having done so than to have a genuine heart to heart relationship with some one who doesn't agree with you.

Generally people opt out of the difficult for the easy. To genuinely love is very hard. It means you have to have humility and admit that you and your ideas don't always take precedence. It means loving someone patiently without cutting them off just because they are imperfect. (Hello, we're all imperfect). All those things in I Corinthians 13 mean something to the christian ethos yet we as humans want to waffle and pretend it depends on the situation.

It takes courage to do this. The WTBS feeds on fear so it cultivates fear. I'm sorry for your mother. She has bought into the fear and deprived herself of joy.

Pity her for the cramped life she lives and know that she has bound herself to fear and not to love.

37

Does This Happen to You? I Need Help :/

by DarioKehl in

hey guys.... i have a few important questions for everyone.

this applies to doubters, faders, inactive, dfed or seasoned apostates.

first, let me set it up:.

cog_survivor

Having been in a similar leaky boat and currently in counseling for similar issues, I really feel for you.

I personally believe that by ensuring a high level of peer pressure, a group keeps you more worried about what others think even to the extent of trying to predict their reactions to attempt to prevent any discomfort. This ensures that your thoughts and energies are taken up with this activity so that you aren't spending that time reflecting on what it is that you think and believe.

I too would recommend getting the support of a counselor. Additionally, try to gently set some boundaries. Listening to their horror stories about those who left isn't doing you any good. You may want to consider gently redirecting the conversation. Bonus points if you can do it in a spiritual manner Example: Sister Yapsalot says, "Such a shame about brother evil doer. I hear he has totally gone over the deep end with wine women and song". You could respond, "If that's the case it is a shame. But I don't feel comfortable discussing it. I think Jehovah would rather we dwell on the things above"

Also, make it a priority to tell yourself that all you have control over are your own thoughts and actions, not those of others. Try to spend some time determining your own thoughts and beliefs.

This won't do away with what you may have to face in the future when you leave, but it may help you feel a little more in control of the situation.

Anybody seen "Blue Like Jazz"

by cog_survivor in

i saw it on cable ondemand last night.

i had heard about the controversy it stirred up amongst evanglelical groups.

so i decided to give it a watch.. basically boy leaves fundamentalist upbringing for liberal college.

cog_survivor

I saw it on cable OnDemand last night. I had heard about the controversy it stirred up amongst evanglelical groups. So I decided to give it a watch.

Basically boy leaves fundamentalist upbringing for liberal college. Turns back on faith. Later boy regains faith.

The sad thing is that the fundies saw it as an insult but what they didn't see was the valid criticism.

284

ABOUT TERRY

by Quentin in

jw
friends

terry was admitted to the hospital yesterday.

he has a severe case of cellulites which has affected his neck glands.

his face and neck are very swollen.

cog_survivor

Here's hoping for loads of improvement fast.

45

Can someone recommend me a history book?

by slimboyfat in

jw
friends

not on a specific subject, just in general.

history is my favourite subject and i'd like to maybe try something i wouldn't normally pick up.

has anyone read any really good history books recently they would recommend?.

cog_survivor

Have you read "Lies My Teacher Told Me"? It's about the historical myths that permeate the american culture.

"Guns, Germs, and Steel" is another one I enjoyed. This is about both the develoments and needed crisis/elements required for a civilization to progress.

"Epidemic: 1914" Not sure I got the title of that correct but it was about the great flu pandemic that broke out during WWI

Anything by Thomas Cahill.

16

ICSA Conference Listening to the Still Small Voice

by Lady Lee in

this was one of the last presentations i took in.

very powerful stuff.. icsa 2012 conference listening to the still small voice: reclaiming the self after leaving religious totalistic groups.

most people go through a stage in late adolescence or early adulthood where they ask this question of themselves.

cog_survivor

Boy, some of the comments on this thread were very thought provoking for me.

The "do nothing" wait on God was a huge thing with my mother. We kids ended up feeling so powerless.

The guilt about doing something just for the pleasure is something that still bugs me today. Everything should have a purpose and the best purpose is to glorify God. Sigh.