Avatar - did you do it in the end?
Personally speaking, I highly recommend Landmark Education - The Landmark Forum and other programmes they offer have taught me valuable concepts and life-skills that have helped me to reintegrate into mainstream society and given me the tools to develop functional relationships.
Whilst Landmark does have a few cult-like traits (far fewer than EST, or even Landmark 5 years ago) I don't believe it is a destructive cult. In my experience, most people who have done it would say that it liberates people from their past and empowers them in creating what they want in their life.
I did the Landmark Forum in 2004 and I remember being very reluctant to go, worried about being brainwashed. I found it very confronting and uncomfortable to begin with it, but I persevered and became very inspired by the positive impact it has on people, myself included. Subsequently I found myself choosing to spend a great deal of time and energy engaging in and supporting Landmark’s work which was both enjoyable and rewarding, although I can see that I was attracted, in part, to a sense of community reminiscent of being a witness which was missing in my life.
While most healthy people can participate in Landmark’s programmes without becoming in any way dependent on them, this could be a potential pitfall for people who have come out of the witnesses or a similar group, particularly those who have not yet educated themselves about cults and high control groups, or formed strong social networks to replace the ones they have lost.
Another pitfall is becoming evangelical about it! As a witness I was trained in having strong convictions and how to ‘spread the word’, so when Landmark caught my imagination it was easy for me to become over-zealous about it with a somewhat coercive enthusiasm. I like to think I’m far more balanced now - I strongly believe in the power of the Landmark perspective, although I now appreciate it may not be for everyone.
When I did the Forum I had recently returned from travelling for 18 months and moved to a new area. Forming long-term friendships had been difficult for me after leaving the witnesses. Not wanting to be bound by the JW way of life, at the age of 18 I had effectively run away to university, leaving everyone behind without saying goodbye. However 8 years on I was no longer 'in the truth' but I still felt 'no part of the world'. Not having got clear about my entire belief system being a sham, and sensing that all my early friendships had been conditional, I felt mentally isolated and unable to trust anyone, so I found it easier to be on my own and had developed very few close friends since leavi ng home.
Gradually I formed friendships within the Landmark community, which was an important process for me. Landmark graduates have a common understanding and share similar values, so I perceived the Landmark community as an inclusive, safe and predictable environment, a network of people I could relate to and trust, in what was for me a confusing and chaotic world in which I still felt very separate.
I have since learnt that you can never accurately predict human behaviour, regardless of what you have in common with another person, because we all have our unique set of views, histories and weaknesses. The best thing any of us can do is learn how to respond rather than react to whatever comes our way - something which Landmark gave me a great deal of insight into.
Although a long-term fader, before I did the Landmark Forum I still had one foot in the JW camp, 8 years after my jailbreak. Every time I went somewhere new I would visit the local congregation, just for the sense of belonging, even though I'd only attend for a few weeks - I even went back out on the ministry at times! I knew that some of my choices in life didn't fit with being a witness, but deep down I still felt that I 'should' be a witness and that one day, if I didn't go back, I would probably be annihilated for my disobedience (somehow I had reconciled that, feeling that I would rather be out and face the consequences than live a completely false life).
It occurred to me the other day that since I did the Landmark Forum I have not even thought about going back, better still I now know that I will never go back and that that's ok (and certainly not cause for divine punishment!). It broke much of the conditioning 'spell' of my childhood and taught me how to have a healthier view of myself, other people and the world in general.
Thanks to Landmark Education I no longer feel guilty about not being a witness, I have a satisfying perspective on life that makes sense to me, I've learned the skills to be able to really connect with people, I can be open about sharing my experiences with others without fear of rejection and I have a much bigger context for my life than I ever had growing up. I'm still processing the grief and trauma of my losses, but I am free of the fear.
Importantly, through my participation with Landmark Education I also came to realise that the alleged 'unity' and worldwide brotherhood is not unique to the witnesses, it is true of many other groups and networks that have a common view on life and common goals, most of which encourage rather than punish people for choosing to follow other pursuits in life.
Now that I have taken all the courses that interested me and I am stronger in myself I do not feel the need to spend as much time there as I once did, but I know that I am always welcome back and that the friendships I have made with the people in that community are not conditional on whether or not I continue to participate or behave in a certain way.
Also, now that I have a broader understanding of cults I can also see how some of Landmark’s methods could be seen as cultish and why the company still struggles to shake off that image. Landmark couldn't possibly be put in the same category as the WTS, however vulnerable, lonely people and those susceptible to authoritarian groups do need to watch out for believing it’s the truth about life (rather than simply a way of looking at life), adopting the principles as rigid rules, and/or becoming unhealthily dependent or reliant upon it.
At the end of the day we are social beings, we all need connection and community and it’s vitally important that we meet those needs in whatever way works for us. Despite the pitfalls, my Landmark journey supported my recovery on many different levels when I didn’t even know I was in recovery - it provided a new perspective, new friends and a new sense of what’s possible in life. Like eveything, recovery is an ongoing process, but Landmark really helped me come to terms with my past and enabled me to create a new future, something I will always be grateful for.
I have benefited hugely from Landmark Education in every aspect of my life since doing the Forum, but to sum it up I'd say that it has enabled me to reclaim my humanity, to forgive and have compassion for myself and others, and to rejoin the human race.
Ultimately, it has helped to set me free from my past and - especially with the past we've had - I'd say that makes it well worth doing.
SQ
