For those of you who inactive, but not officially DFd/DAd, how do you manage?

undercover

I read with interest the thread about how people who are mentally out yet still attend (some) meetings manage to do continue to do it and it got me wondering, how do those of us who are completely inactive, no longer practicing members of the faith, manage to pull off our new ex-JW life, yet never invite scrutiny or investigation from former friends, elders, etc.

Take me, for example. I've been out several years now, but have never officially renounced my faith. I've never out and out called it a crock of shit to anyone who could make real trouble for me. I consider myself an ex-JW, but cannot post that on my Facebook wall without repurcussions.

I've managed to move on in my everyday life for the most part...doing what I want to do and am even slowly successful in freeing some family members...at least physically, if not mentally. Yet, there are times that I have to tippy-toe around certain subjects/events/holidays.

For me, it's part not playing by WT rules and part keeping low profile so as to not cause JW family to have to take a hard stand. But as more time passes, I care less about being found out/exposed. If it were to happen, I'd just shrug my shoulders and keep on keeping on. But I'm not going to invite it. I want to continue to slowly work my evil plan at freeing certain members from the clutches of the WTS.

What about y'all? How do some of y'all do it?

wha happened?

My fade has teken some turns, but I don't avoid dubs anywhere anymore. I even post my name on occasion because at thise point, I really don't care. My thorn is my wife and I try to keep her appeased. Her family isn't involved so no problem there.

I'll never attend another meeting of that religion and I don't plan on renouncing my faith as it would be more of a renouncing of a religion. I never lost faith. I lost faith in a religion

cedars

It's all relatively new for me, so it's a learning process. I hate having to keep quiet about things with my relatives. I am fortunate in many ways that I have a wife who shares my concerns about the faith and passively supports my activities, which are a great outlet - i.e. even if I can't help my own family, at least I can help others. I find resources such as this forum and my work on the survey site a great therapy. I just need to remember to be careful and keep my head down. Hopefully all this sneaking around won't last forever, one way or the other.

Cedars

blondie

I don't discuss my views with anyone. I have no contact with my jw family but I understand some may have a emotional bond yet. We didn't get called on until 8 years of being gone. Then it is either before the memorial or during the CO visit. We either don't answer the door or step out to the porch and keep it short. Making new friends is good, re-establish bonds with non-jw relatives, make a life for yourself.

But I never talk to them, no pearls before swine.

Mickey mouse

I'm not DA or DF but my family treat me as though I am. Job done.

ex360shipper

I am lucky because I have one good friend (he is on this forum) that I bounce ideas off of. We are both inactive and share books with each other such as Ray Franz's books and "combatting cult control". It is nice to have a real person besides my internet friends here that I can talk to when I get pressure from family or JW friends to go to meetings and such. Otherwise I think it would be tougher not to out myself in a fit of anger and get df'd.

sabastious

But I never talk to them, no pearls before swine.

It was such a surreal experience for me to get to the point where I don't want to talk about it with them anymore. When I was first awakening I felt trying to get to them wasn't casting pearls before swine. I now totally understand how that works. They actually don't care about the truth, which I found hard to swallow because we all called it the Truth. It was devistating for me to find out that they only care about their status before their organization and fellow peers and their own peace of mind. I am glad that I gave them the benefit of the doubt for so long, because I never want to be like them and judge without even a second thought. I never again want to let a printed word control my thoughts and actions. "Innocent until proven guilty" can be enveloped by angst towards my past captors, but it really is the best way to go about life, imo.

-Sab

cedars

Sabastious nailed it...

They actually don't care about the truth, which I found hard to swallow because we all called it the Truth.

I get the impression when talking to a certain relative that he doesn't WANT to know it's not "the Truth", even if it can be proven beyond doubt that it isn't. It's a shocking realisation to come to.

Cedars

ex360shipper

Cedars you hit the nail on the head. Many people are like the disciples, "Lord, whom shall we go away to?" They would be more lost without the org as it has encompased their whole life, faith, social structure ect.

I would love to see my family free, but it might destroy them more to be out than in.

OUTLAW

Good Afternoon UC..

I pretty much play it like you do..

JW friends and relatives still talk to me..

They know I`m not a believer and I don`t make a big deal about it..

I`m not a threat..

That leaves me room to make my moves..Give them bits of information..

Nothing that will freak them out..Just enough to make them think..

I`m far more dangerous to the WBT$ this way..

..................;-)...OUTLAW

For those of you who inactive, but not officially DFd/DAd, how do you manage?

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