LOLOL @ Tracy
I LOVE that movie. In fact, I'm totally bummed that I didn't get it for Christmas But not to worry! I did get The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and I've quite enjoyed that.
Dana
safe4kids
JoinedPosts by safe4kids
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59
The Two Towers
by Xander injust saw this.. great movie.
not as good as book, but about matches it roughly as good as fellowship matched the book.. gollum is class act - for those worried the little cgi creature wouldn't work, don't be!
he looks great - and the voice acting is dead one.. won't say too much, as spoilers might ruin it for some, but you really, really should see the extended edition dvd of the fellowship before seeing this movie.
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If YOUR Child Was A Pedophile, What Would You Do?
by minimus inwe have shown an abhorrence to pedophiles, and rightfully so, but how would you view pedophilia if your own son or daughter was either a known pedophile or displayed abnormal feelings for children?
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safe4kids
Quite frankly, I'm rather tired of people using the emotion card towards women in some derogatory way, as if we aren't able to separate emotion and reason. That's not an attack LB, but a clear statement of my feelings on that subject.
Anyway...I see it as two separate issues...would I stop loving my child because they've done horrible things? No, I don't believe so. Would I support or condone in some way such acts? Hell no.
Dana
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If YOUR Child Was A Pedophile, What Would You Do?
by minimus inwe have shown an abhorrence to pedophiles, and rightfully so, but how would you view pedophilia if your own son or daughter was either a known pedophile or displayed abnormal feelings for children?
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safe4kids
How could I tear the heart from my body and still live?
Well said, Witch Child!
Dana
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New - My biography
by TuningFork inwhere do i start?
it's difficult to bring up all of the negative start in life, however, i believe that without my upbringing i would not have known where to search for the truth later on in life - within.
the jw is all i knew from the age of 6. when i left at 19 in the year of 1973, i was disfellowshipped for sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
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safe4kids
Hi TuningFork and welcome to the forum
Thanks for sharing a bit about yourself with us. You mentioned that you 'still' have baggage...it's my opinion that everyone has baggage, exJW or not, so that makes you (and me! ) pretty normal, don't you think?
Dana
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One JW Lawsuit , then my Dad died a week ago...
by Nancy K inhey everybody!!
"happy new year"..this is 'nancy k'..who's dad just passed 12/21/02, and who had been 'on' about my upcoming lawsuit to see my granddaughter..i have updates, and will be back 'on' soon..my heartfelt thanks to you all!
nancy k......and tom(my husband) of course!!!
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safe4kids
Happy New Year, Nancy, and condolences on the loss of your dad. Please let us know how things are going for you.
Dana
Edited by - safe4kids on 2 January 2003 9:17:56
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I am confused......Any opinions???
by nita6368 ini have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.
i have been married for 3 years.
i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.
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safe4kids
Hi Nita
I can relate to some of what you're going through, and I think you've been given some great advice especially by Spaz and Scully. Have you considered a trial separation? Sometimes, that can shock a person into realizing that they need to make changes if they are interested in keeping a relationship. You haven't mentioned your feelings for this man, whether you love him and if you really want to save the marriage, so I don't know if a separation is a viable option or if a clean break is what you're looking for. I do know that I wholeheartedly concur with the thoughts expressed that your kids' needs must have a priority in your plans.
I've been divorced for just over two years and I have two children, an 11 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. I think that trying to integrate another person in their lives would be difficult at best and a disaster at worst, and so I'm quite happy not to get involved in a serious relationship at this time. I like being single and I absolutely refuse to give up any of my hard won independence. I'm not saying that blended families can't work, I just don't think I have the emotional energy to take care of myself, my kids, and also devote the necessary effort and energy a relationship requires. Especially, I will not ever allow my children to be bullied by another adult in their own home. I think that your instincts are right on the money.
At any rate, making some of the changes that you've mentioned here should act as a wake up call for your husband, at which point he will be able to make his own decision as to whether he's interested in saving the relationship (therefore having to make changes in how he interacts with you and your children) or not.
I also want to echo Scully's thoughts that loving and trusting a person, forgiving them and giving them second chances, are not things to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. I see them as strengths, not weaknesses. But there does come a time when you have to weigh those against continued dysfunctional behavior, and take the necessary steps to get out of a situation that is not improving. Best of luck to you and your family, Nita, I know this is not an easy or painless time for you.
Dana
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59
The Two Towers
by Xander injust saw this.. great movie.
not as good as book, but about matches it roughly as good as fellowship matched the book.. gollum is class act - for those worried the little cgi creature wouldn't work, don't be!
he looks great - and the voice acting is dead one.. won't say too much, as spoilers might ruin it for some, but you really, really should see the extended edition dvd of the fellowship before seeing this movie.
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safe4kids
Fantasy isn't my favorite genre but, as mentioned, there are a few authors I enjoy reading. I've not read any Feist or Eddings, just can't seem to get into them, but a couple of others I like are Terry Goodkind (Sword of Truth series, I believe they're called) and Anne McCaffrey's Pern series--nothing like Tolkien. I thought the Earthsea books were okay but my son really got into them.
Dana
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Caring for the Child Molesters
by Swan inin thinking back over the years past it makes me really sad what we have come to as jehovah's witnesses.
i never thought i would ever be at this point in my life.
in doing some new year reflections i can't help but think of the people i cared about in past years.
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safe4kids
I understand where all of the anger and desire for vengeance is coming from...trust me. I think the point to bear in mind here though is that, as much as we might individually like to rip the heads off those who prey on children, that's not a viable option in our society. The facts are that currently, the rehabilitation rate of pedophiles is extremely low (can we say almost nonexistent?); those who hurt children rarely go to jail, and even when they do, they are eventually released; obviously, current programs in place to deal with and prevent child sexual abuse are ineffective. Therefore, it's time to consider alternatives to the way we as a society have been approaching the problem. After all, what's more important...getting revenge or protecting future victims?
I hope that NO ONE reading this gets the impression that I favor letting pedophiles off with a slap on the wrist. In fact, in the class where the above article was discussed, I was the most vehement voice of opposition, making many of the same arguments that have been expressed here. Personally, I would like to have every male who hurts a child sexually to be castrated; those are my PERSONAL feelings. Looking at the bigger picture though, and looking at in terms of what the reality is, I'm all for exploring alternative methods that may be successful in altering the actual behavior that is causing the problem in the first place. Simply put, what do I want more? Revenge and retribution for the hurt I've suffered or the protection of future victims? Cause let's face it, the way the system is now, there are guaranteed future victims, no matter if the pedophile is caught and locked up, as eventually he will be released. Ideally, I would like both...I'd like revenge and I'd like to make sure that an offender would not harm another child.
The discussion about the Circle of Trust and the Aboriginal Way of Healing is just that... a discussion of alternative methods that MIGHT work better than what is currently in place. It's not meant to offend anyone nor is it meant to release those who hurt children from responsibility for the damage they've done. It's a very sensitive subject and many who read this are in various stages of healing, so I want to be sure that that's recognized and to say that if I've caused any hurt or other negative feelings, then I sincerely apologize.
Obviously, no program is going to be 100% effective...and by that I mean those programs that are legally enforceable, not the ones that go through all of our minds when we read about innocent children having their childhoods ripped away from them or when we contemplate the immeasureable pain and harm that may have occurred in our own lives or the lives of those we love.
Dana
Edited by - safe4kids on 1 January 2003 22:38:5
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Caring for the Child Molesters
by Swan inin thinking back over the years past it makes me really sad what we have come to as jehovah's witnesses.
i never thought i would ever be at this point in my life.
in doing some new year reflections i can't help but think of the people i cared about in past years.
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safe4kids
I think they are equally sharing in the blame.
I agree. That's one of the things that I find so hypocritical of the WTS's stance on this issue. How many times did we read in the literature and hear from the platform about our "responsibility" to our fellow man (preach, or you'll be bloodguilty), to our "brothers and sisters" (if you know they've done something wrong, you have an OBLIGATION to "get help" for them from the elders, else you'll be bloodguilty), and especially to Jehovah (don't wanna piss off the big guy, else you'll die at armageddon!). And yet protecting innocent children from monsters the elders know about becomes solely the parents' responsibility, when often they have no clue who the molestors are. Sickening.
Dana
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59
The Two Towers
by Xander injust saw this.. great movie.
not as good as book, but about matches it roughly as good as fellowship matched the book.. gollum is class act - for those worried the little cgi creature wouldn't work, don't be!
he looks great - and the voice acting is dead one.. won't say too much, as spoilers might ruin it for some, but you really, really should see the extended edition dvd of the fellowship before seeing this movie.
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safe4kids
Shera,
GAH! I see stubble *swoons* Now, if only Legolas would grow a bit of stubble...sigh, or do elves not have facial hair?? I can't remember.
Expat,
Leper, outcast, unclean! I know what you mean about the detail, frustrating, intit? Little secret...I sometimes skip over the details but don't tell anyone! The first time I read the books, they depressed the hell out of me..all that despair and yearning, poor guy. And I couldn't understand why he was so afraid to embrace The Land, so afraid of losing his grip on reality...this time around, I don't find them depressing, I find his strength of will quite impressive.
As for the other books...weren't they titled "Mirror of Her Dreams" and "A Man Rides Through"? Or am I getting them confused with something else? BTW...Donaldson has a new book out, which I've read, but I wasn't impressed at all...it has a contemporary setting and I rather wish he'd go back to Mordant (huh...maybe I'm just hung up on elves).
Dana