Heaven,
You said:
I do find this interesting. I personally couldnt be intimate with someone unless I was in love with them. I think alot has to do with trust too.
Im not saying that it isnt right to have sex with someone you arent in love with. Its basically up to the person and whatever they feel comfortable with.
This is pretty much how I feel, as well, although, for me, I don't have to be "in love" but I do have to have strong feelings for the individual and know them pretty well. I've learned this thru trial and error; when I've tried to go against my gut in this respect I've regretted it, and actually haven't been able to follow thru. Casual sex just doesn't work for me. Again, I totally agree that there isn't a "right or wrong" standard that can be applied across the board, just differences in what works for some people and doesn't work for others but there are "rights and wrongs" for me as an individual. As Xena said, there are so many variables to be considered and I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror with my integrity intact.
I think that it's a mistake to make blanket statements about people and relationships as we never really know all of the motivations behind different behaviors. Personally, I would never want to "chain" someone, nor be chained myself. That whole idea of a soulmate and partner for life is wonderfully idealistic and certainly occurs on occasion but I suspect that the odds are against it for the majority of people.
Just my $.02
Dana