Posts by safe4kids

for some their mothers have passed away and the opportunity to say i love you in person is forever lost.. for others our mothers are lost to the borg.

in fact, we may never have had the opportunity to celebrate a mother's day with them.

Well, I've put off reading this thread because I've convinced myself that I've healed and gone beyond the loss of my mother and father but of course that isn't entirely true. I want to express hugs and love to all of those here who have shared their pain; I kinda feel at a loss for words.

My mom is still alive and still a dub, don't see that changing during her lifetime. I've been estranged from her since one of my children was molested by a family member and, instead of following the advice of the elders, I took care of my child. That caused the police to get involved, prosecution and a conviction of the molestor...it also caused a rift that apparently will never heal. I can forgive, and have forgiven, my mother for not taking care of me as a child when I was abused; I can forgive her, and have, for not supporting me as an adult when I was healing from being abused. What I cannot forget is that she was willing, in fact DEMANDED, that I not take care of MY child...her grandchild! My kid was 6 years old and had to go thru so much trauma and my mother stated that she hoped, she HOPED for god's sake! that my kid would have to go thru testifying on the stand so that I could get a little glimpse of the pain that SHE (my mother) was in. She also stated that she hoped one day I would have to deal with one of my children being a molestor and then I would see what it had been like for her.

I don't know why my mother is unable to put her pain aside in light of the pain of her grandchild and daughter (although I have some ideas). There is nothing I wouldn't do for my children; there is nothing that could separate me from the love I have for them, not that I would be accepting and condoning of all of their behavior of course, but to stop loving them and actually wish for them to hurt??! I can't fathom that.

Of course, since I left the borg, I've given them an excuse to hate me even more, but if I'm honest, the hate was there from the time I did what my mother couldn't or wouldn't do for her child...I put my kid first. What else can a mother do??

So mom, it's mother's day, something we've never shared and likely never will. We haven't talked in years and you have no idea what wonderful, intelligent, kind, loving and well adjusted grandchildren you have. You don't see your grandson growing up, at 11 years old almost as tall as me. You don't get to see what a wonderful sense of humor he has and the incredibly fascinating way that his mind works. You haven't shared the awards ceremonies, nor cuddled with him on the couch (which yes, he still allows me to do occasionally!). And you haven't been here to see the pain and the tears that losing his "Grandma Penny" caused.

You haven't seen your granddaughter, who just turned 10 two weeks ago. She's beautiful, mom. She's such a kind and loving person, she's also very confident, something you and I never were. She's in 4th grade and reads/comprehends at a 10th grade level. She loves animals, she loves her friends, she loves her family and she STILL cries and misses you. You missed her first season of softball...she won a trophy for good sportsmanship; she's very proud of that. Most of all, what you're missing, what YOU have cut yourself off from, is the love and affection that pours out of her. She and I have a relationship that, sadly, you and I never had.

Soooo...thanks Mom...thanks for teaching my children the meaning of loss at an early age. And thank you for teaching me how NOT to be a mother.

Dana

8

do bad things happen in 3's?

by Brummie in

what a shyte couple of weeks, my dad talking about death (seems to have stabalised but still very ill), tonight my wifes sister involved in an car/bike accident and went in for emergency surgery at 10pm, smashed her knees.

anyhows, my wife will set off in the morning to spend the week nursing her sister who lives alone, all this and both of them have deadlines to meet at university by the end of may, stuff it huh.. there's a great superstition here that bad things come in 3's, i'm glad having been a jw i dont believe this.

(knowing our luck it will probably come in 5's instead...lol).

safe4kids

Hey Brummie,

Sorry to hear about your family's difficulties and I hope you'll all have an end to the problems/crises for awhile, sounds like you deserve a break. As for bad things happening in threes...I dunno! I've heard the expression but I'm not superstitious so I never pay much attention. But then, like an old song says, "if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all"...that pretty much sums up my life!

Why cant they all just leave me be, just because I gave em all dirty looks and said bad things. geesh, people are so touchy.

LOLOL yeah, for real! What's their problem anyway??

Dana

1

The Grey Zone

by expatbrit in

jw
friends

i posted this on another discussion board a few weeks ago, but thought i would recycle it here.

there are hundreds of movies made each year which are entertaining, but very few which have any real depth of value.

i believe that the grey zone is one of those few.. i just watched the movie called the grey zone.

safe4kids

Hiyas Expat,

Thanks for the review, although I honestly don't think that I could watch it. Embarrassingly, in a college history class a couple of years ago where we discussed Hitler and the Holocaust, I bawled my eyes out thru both of the films we were required to watch. Sheesh, I was humiliated but couldn't help it, b/c the reality of what those people suffered and endured really hit home.

That said, the film sounds very intriguing (wish I could watch it!) and I wholeheartedly agree with your last comment:

But, if you are feeling emotionally strong, The Grey Zone will provide you with a strong lesson in why we must never forget history, and why free nations must always stand up to psychopathic dictators.

Dana

24

Quit School / Encouraged not to go to college/ unit

by shamus in

how many of you quit school b/c of the religion?

another question - how many of you did not go on to college / uni b/c of the religion?.

do you regret it?.

safe4kids

Good thread, Shamus.

Yep, I was also encouraged to put 'spiritual' pursuits ahead of my education...with the result that I dropped out of high school at the end of 10th grade, got a GED a couple of years later. I recall at around age 15 telling my mom that I wanted to go to college and she laughed at the idea. BUT...I'm now 37 and, if all things go according to plan, I'll graduate with a BA at the end of this year, so it's never too late, ya know?

Dana

73

I didn't think my JW family could find another way to hurt me but...

by Ghost of Esmeralda in

jw
friends

but i was so wrong!

my daughter just got home.

you all know i dressed her up, painted her nails, curled her hair, and sent her off to my favorite cousin's wedding.

safe4kids

Hey again (((((((Essie))))))

I'm having major...MAJOR computer problems right now...grrrrr and I don't even know if I will be able to post this...anyway, I agree with the general consensus that your sister and other family members have lost their privileges as regards spending time with your daughter. To put her in such an awful position...it doesn't even bear thinking about! My heart goes out to all of you; please give little Essie and Mr. Essie hugs from me. I also have to say tho, that I am so impressed by your strength, as always, my dear friend.

I would email you but I'm not even sure THAT'S working on this goldanged, bloody confounded, blasted a** computer!!! I'd like to talk to you so I'll try to check with Seven and get your #...Seven, if you read this, please give me a call?? Thanks ((((((('butt buddies)))))))) (inside joke).

Love,

Dana

73

I didn't think my JW family could find another way to hurt me but...

by Ghost of Esmeralda in

jw
friends

but i was so wrong!

my daughter just got home.

you all know i dressed her up, painted her nails, curled her hair, and sent her off to my favorite cousin's wedding.

safe4kids

((((((((Essie))))))))

I don't even know what to say -- that is beyond despicable of them!!! I would be ready to ream some serious a**!!!!!

It still amazes me how destructive that religion is, when for so many years I thought it was all things good and the only place to find real love...what a joke that turned out to be. I'm so sorry that your family pulled such a low-down dirty rotten trick on you; you've every right to be incensed but please remember to take care of yourself. Love ya much.

Dana

71

Why does the US call itself ALONE"America"?

by JH in

jw
friends

as far as i'm concerned, the united states is in north america, just like canada and mexico.

so why do americans think "america" means only the us?

so often i hear americans talk about the us as "america".. .

safe4kids

Is this yet another thread about America and Americans??!!! Wow, you people must really love us!

Dana *happy to be in the land of the free and the home of the brave...also known as the land of high fees and the home of the slaves*

17

Sentimentality Test.

by Englishman in

jw
friends

ok, folks, this yet another of those "what do you think of american ******?".

i thought i'd take a peek at the issue of sentimentality.

as you know, us brits are a stiff-upper lip emotionally constipated bunch .

safe4kids

Awwwwwwww Eman *sniffles and wipes away a tear*

*blows snotty nose on expat's sleeve* Yer tough guy act don't fool me!!! Hehehehe

Dana

21

Marriage Proposal

by YoursChelbie in

as some of you may know, jeff aka gopher and myself have been living together since last summer.

well he popped the question to me this past wednesday night and i said "yes!".

what i think i need now is a lot of support from our friends in this forum.

safe4kids

((((((((((Chelbie and Gopher)))))))))))

Ohhhhhhh, I'm so happy for both of you!!! Gopher has been a good friend for almost as long as I've been on the net, although I'm afraid I haven't been quite as good a friend back Chelbie, I haven't gotten to know you as well, but it's obvious that you must be a very special lady indeed and I truly wish the best for the two of you. Awwww, this is gonna make me cry! (Can't help it, I'm a sap)

I can't give any advice on remarriages, as I've sworn off the idea myself but I do know of one particular couple who have the exes from hell and they've managed to stay married and HAPPY for several years now

Again, congratulations and let us know when you set the date!

Dana