Posts by Xanthippe

40

Are you a good person?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

something happened this week to make me think about this again.. it feels like all bets are off and i really don't know what a good person is anymore.. when i left the jws i was so sure i knew what it meant to be a good person.. this has been revised many times since.. i tend to favour the utilitarian approach, the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people.. sometimes you have to stick your neck out and say this is not good for me no matter what others may feel they need from me.. no idea where i'm going with this maybe this is a breakthrough in my life or maybe that glass of wine was stronger than i thought!.

any thoughts?.

Xanthippe

When I was a preteen girl, self sacrifice was everything...You take care of yourself before you rescue others. - Band

I love the old joke, self sacrifice is all very well but what's in it for me.

On the other hand....sometimes doing something for someone else makes us feel better so it's win-win. We were made to feel as JWs that helping others always had to be selfless, altruistic, give until it hurts. Why? I'd rather give until it feels great and then when it doesn't feel good anymore, stop. What's wrong with that?

I always remember to put the toilet seat down for my wife. - Rub a Dub

Rub a Dub, lol. A good way to end a discussion on trying to understand a will o' the wisp concept like goodness.

40

Are you a good person?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

something happened this week to make me think about this again.. it feels like all bets are off and i really don't know what a good person is anymore.. when i left the jws i was so sure i knew what it meant to be a good person.. this has been revised many times since.. i tend to favour the utilitarian approach, the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people.. sometimes you have to stick your neck out and say this is not good for me no matter what others may feel they need from me.. no idea where i'm going with this maybe this is a breakthrough in my life or maybe that glass of wine was stronger than i thought!.

any thoughts?.

Xanthippe

mynameislame, yes it is tricky. How much should you try and help others? I like your thoughts about Scrooge, perhaps he was just guilty of being grouchy, although I think there was more to Dickens' stories. Much more social commentary. There was a huge amount of poverty in Victorian England and an enormous gap between rich and poor. Have you read Hard Times? I like that you say there is no such thing as selfish, it's true that what drives our actions are gaining pleasure and avoiding pain.

40

Are you a good person?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

something happened this week to make me think about this again.. it feels like all bets are off and i really don't know what a good person is anymore.. when i left the jws i was so sure i knew what it meant to be a good person.. this has been revised many times since.. i tend to favour the utilitarian approach, the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people.. sometimes you have to stick your neck out and say this is not good for me no matter what others may feel they need from me.. no idea where i'm going with this maybe this is a breakthrough in my life or maybe that glass of wine was stronger than i thought!.

any thoughts?.

Xanthippe

I have an passionate disdain for questions like this (and the thousands of posts asking something similar each year). - BackseatDevil

Really? I haven't seen any.

Do I view myself as a good person or do I attempt to be a good person? Not particularly. I view myself as a decent and just person first, and sometimes to achieve that balance one cannot be “good” 100% of the time.

You see I find this interesting because you're describing yourself as decent and just but not always good. I'm having a problem with all of these words, these labels. Can't you see that? Haven't you read the thread? I am not saying I'm a good person, are you? I'm saying can someone explain to me what they think a good person is because I'm not sure anymore. The word good, the concept of goodness does not compute for me anymore.

The fluctuation makes me neither good nor bad... I just... AM.

Exactly the place where I am at the moment. People just are what they are, concepts of being good or bad are now striking me as weird.

40

Are you a good person?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

something happened this week to make me think about this again.. it feels like all bets are off and i really don't know what a good person is anymore.. when i left the jws i was so sure i knew what it meant to be a good person.. this has been revised many times since.. i tend to favour the utilitarian approach, the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people.. sometimes you have to stick your neck out and say this is not good for me no matter what others may feel they need from me.. no idea where i'm going with this maybe this is a breakthrough in my life or maybe that glass of wine was stronger than i thought!.

any thoughts?.

Xanthippe

Clarity lol. It's 11pm here I am going to bed in a minute, work tomorrow

I am actually getting somewhere with this and also Band's thoughts have helped me because I believe I see people who protect their own interests as selfish. That's my cult upbringing. It's that I need to deal with - tomorrow.

40

Are you a good person?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

something happened this week to make me think about this again.. it feels like all bets are off and i really don't know what a good person is anymore.. when i left the jws i was so sure i knew what it meant to be a good person.. this has been revised many times since.. i tend to favour the utilitarian approach, the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people.. sometimes you have to stick your neck out and say this is not good for me no matter what others may feel they need from me.. no idea where i'm going with this maybe this is a breakthrough in my life or maybe that glass of wine was stronger than i thought!.

any thoughts?.

Xanthippe

stuckinarut2, interesting, but aren't humans supposed to realise that at about age three? Isn't it part of separating from your mother psychologically and becoming a separate entity? If that is just reality then what is goodness?

Wiki says about enlightened self interest that it is a philosophy in ethics which states that persons who act to further the interests of others or the group or groups to which they belong ultimately serve their own self interest. It has often been simply expressed by the belief that an individual, group or commercial entity will 'do well by doing good'. (Can't get copy and paste on here to work tonight )

It contrasts it with greed which is unenlightened self interest and altruism which is acting in the interests of others without the expectation of material gain and sometimes at the expense of your own interests.

Perhaps furthering the interests of the groups we belong to, family, workplace, town, country and human race is just common sense and benefits everyone?

40

Are you a good person?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

something happened this week to make me think about this again.. it feels like all bets are off and i really don't know what a good person is anymore.. when i left the jws i was so sure i knew what it meant to be a good person.. this has been revised many times since.. i tend to favour the utilitarian approach, the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people.. sometimes you have to stick your neck out and say this is not good for me no matter what others may feel they need from me.. no idea where i'm going with this maybe this is a breakthrough in my life or maybe that glass of wine was stronger than i thought!.

any thoughts?.

Xanthippe

Observe your genuine thoughts and feelings and reactions to things without judging them.

That's good advice Cofty, sometimes our thoughts can be shocking but they are just thoughts. They are not going to kill anyone, even if we might feel like it.

It has been a long time since I thought there is an ultimate standard of goodness but I do think I am not alone in wanting to feel good about myself. I am quite sure this is a normal human feeling because when we feel guilt or shame about our actions it can be crippling. So it must be important to feel I am 'good', whatever that means.

For me good has come down to motive and intention. 90% of people are decent good people ...we are left with a difference in nature and nurture altering an individuals oersoective of the world.

Interesting Snare. Nature/nurture does alter everyone's view of the world even if only slightly. Perhaps if a person's 'nurture' has been in a cult it can be difficult to see everyone as basically good. I really try to and most of the time I succeed.

If you contribute to the well-being of your fellow humans, that should make you good, somewhat?

prologos, yes that is what I have felt for a long time. Today I feel, who has the energy for that anymore?

Does it even matter? Is enlightened self interest better for us? Better for the world?

40

Are you a good person?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

something happened this week to make me think about this again.. it feels like all bets are off and i really don't know what a good person is anymore.. when i left the jws i was so sure i knew what it meant to be a good person.. this has been revised many times since.. i tend to favour the utilitarian approach, the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people.. sometimes you have to stick your neck out and say this is not good for me no matter what others may feel they need from me.. no idea where i'm going with this maybe this is a breakthrough in my life or maybe that glass of wine was stronger than i thought!.

any thoughts?.

Xanthippe

Something happened this week to make me think about this again.

It feels like all bets are off and I really don't know what a good person is anymore.

When I left the JWs I was so sure I knew what it meant to be a good person.

This has been revised many times since.

I tend to favour the Utilitarian approach, the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people.

Sometimes you have to stick your neck out and say this is not good for me no matter what others may feel they need from me.

No idea where I'm going with this maybe this is a breakthrough in my life or maybe that glass of wine was stronger than I thought!

Any thoughts?

19

What's your response to Matthew 10:37 (greater love for mom and dad then Jesus)???

by jam in

used to justify shunning..

Xanthippe

What do I think of Matt 10:37?

Why would a loving God want you to give up your family and friends and break your heart?

Sounds like a spoilt child saying I'm your best friend now you must play with me and no-one else.

Narcissistic sadist.

12

Voices The Governing Body Listen to (Jehovah The Corporation Sock Puppet Included)

by frankiespeakin in

how do the governing body hear the voice of jehovah their corporation sock puppet?

how do they know jehovah's moods?

sad, indifferent, joyious, melancholy, pensive and so forth?

Xanthippe

I wondered about this when I was in, how the FDS got the information for the Watchtower but it seemed to be taboo, no one talked about it. Can't believe I didn't pursue the question now. Think we had a vague idea all the anointed sent in ideas that had been given them but that was when they believd the FDS was all of the remnant not just the governing body.

17

Told my JW friend it's a cult

by Xanthippe in

so i said i would write about the 2014 convention program that you guys kindly posted here, to the jw friend who contacted me out of the blue after over 20 years since we d'ad.

sorry if you find this repetitive if you have already read my story.

this friend does not know anything about how my family shun me and i thought it is relevant in the light of the convention symposium talk about putting family in second place.

Xanthippe

Thanks for all your thoughts everyone, I appreciate it.

Maeve well done to Goldie and you have two cockerels! Er I mean roosters.You say potato, I say ... potarto, well you know what I mean.

Yes spring is coming along nicely here thanks.The daffodils have been out for a few weeks and the cherry trees are covered in blossom. The birds are nesting ang singing their little hearts out. I mowed the lawn last weekend and potted up some pelargonium plug plants from the garden centre. I'm going to put them out in containers at the end of May. Usually that's the end of the frost but we've hardly had any this winter and no snow at all, just rain rain rain.