It is my experience that when I'm in , i'm being bullied by influent members and when i'm out , i'm being tourmented by my conscience. Either way i'm unhappy, so I might as well stay in the org, be the nicest person that I can be, and wait for Yah to destroy Babylon the Great.
Oh sweetheart my heart goes out to you. You are being bullied by so-called true Christians but if you stay away your conscience torments you.
First of all why would a loving God destroy Babylon the Great as they call it? Which is just all the other people called Christians, like my little old mother in law of 85 and the other old ladies in her church. All the kids and babies that have been christened too? All the other religions too that kids are born into depending where they live in the world.
What does your conscience inside the real you tell you sweetheart? Surely that we should love and tolerate people from all different backgrounds, beliefs and cultures?
The conscience you are talking about is just cult programming from repetitive meetings and studies. That fades when you stop attending and then there will still be the real you, being 'the nicest person' you can be, as you put it. Without the bullies trying to find out all your business! I worry about you, please think carefully about this religion.
BTW my daughter's studying for her finals too! Good luck!