Huh. Has this game started or are we still arguing if we're going to play it or not? I remember this, I think it was on the playground. Is Lostwun pretending to be an ex -JW who is upset about pretending to be something untrue? Or is she being real? Oh boy! I thought it would be quite mentally stimulating. Not much chance of that, think I'll go read a book instead.
Xanthippe
JoinedPosts by Xanthippe
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59
Would I lie to you?
by slimboyfat ingiven recent posts on the forum and discussion, maybe we could play this game: would i lie to you?
in the uk we have this tv programme where minor celebrities tell weird or embarrassing stories about themselves and the rest of the participants have to guess if it is a true story or made up.
when the others have voted then the person reveals if the story is true or false.
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12
Share Your Personal Experiences Please!
by LaurenM inso since leaving the borg i've made quite a few stupid mistakes, hurting myself a lot..but i finally feel like i've learned and i think, in time, i'll find my happiness again...even more happiness that i could've ever had being a jw.. but my question to you guys is, what was your experience like leaving the borg?
did you struggle at all?
how long have you been out?
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Xanthippe
Hi Lauren, my husband and I got out 27 years ago. We were a mess for about two years but we saw a psychologist and it helped. Then my husband got a paid job instead of window cleaning because we had been pioneering for years. Then I got a job in a clothes shop, which I hated but my colleagues were very friendly which helped me a lot.
Then we both did a distance learning degree. I don't know if you're in the UK. It was the Open University. My husband got a physics degree after six years and did projects within his next couple of engineering jobs to become a Chartered Physicist and then a Chartered Scientist. I did a history degree and a computing diploma to help me get a job. I even learned a certain amount of computer programming, which was fun.
My husband worked full time while doing his degree and I worked part time so it was hard work but we got there in the end. We both ended up with jobs we liked and my husband travelled a lot for his work. He went to Europe and America and Brazil, so lots of interesting experiences and getting to know how to deal with normal people, not cultists.
Then six years after leaving we had a beautiful baby girl. She brought so much joy into our lives. My sisters didn't acknowledge her birth. My brother heard a rumour I was pregnant and phoned me going all around the subject but I knew why he'd phoned. He and his wife finally came to see the baby. After cancelling five times. She was one year old by then, they didn't come again. My dad was never a JW so we took the baby to see him although my mother was not speaking to us. She was ok but made it clear we were there on sufferance because she was being a dutiful JW wife.
We didn't care. We had a wonderful time raising our little girl. Christmas trees, birthday parties - oh what parties we had. Enormous pass the parcel packages I made. Sleepovers for her friends. Dress-ups at Halloween. Wonderful. The great thing is my husband's parents left too after we did so they joined in and loved having a granddaughter which made up a bit for my family.
My daughter is in her last year at university now and she'll do her Masters after that. She's wonderful, she's made all the struggle worthwhile. Her dad died of a brain hemorrage seven years ago so we looked after each other. She is on the student union council and an active member of the uni feminist society. I'm so proud, can you imagine after the way I was treated as a JW woman that my daughter is an ardent activist for women's rights.
Life is good, we both have friends and it's all been worth it. Lauren, whatever is happening in your life and whatever struggles you have to keep your freedom from the cult know that it is worth it. Lots of luck and love to you.
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43
It amazes me...
by punkofnice in..to think about how the congregations actually function....even down to the individual level.. the biggest bully on the boe (or his wife), controls the show.. ones within the congregation are treated like they're dirt and still they return.
stockholm syndrome?.
i've heard ones say that 'jehovah(tm) will sort it all out.
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Xanthippe
I think a lot of people from financially poor backgrounds with little education, like my family, are very impressed by all the swanky buildings and shiny new things. Broadcasts, video links at KHs and conventions. My sister said when we left but it must be the truth look at how Jehovah is blessing the building work. This was after years of her complaining about her horrible elders and wondering when something was going to be done about all the problems in the congregations. I said shiny buildings full of miserable people treating each other badly prove nothing.
Since then I have been to the Vatican which proves my point but I enjoyed the art, which is why I went.
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76
What is your relationship with ALCOHOL?
by nicolaou inhere in the uk new drinking guidelines have been issued which suggest "no more than 14 units a week - equivalent to six pints of beer or seven glasses of wine.".
another piece of the advice which is getting a lot of attention is that "if people drink, it should be moderately over three or more days and that some days should be alcohol-free.".
already people are making cries of "nanny state!
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Xanthippe
I drink a glass of red wine on the days I work because it helps me wind down while cooking dinner. I used to like spirits but not so much these days. I can have a meal out with friends and have a soft drink if I have to drive, but it's not nearly so much fun. An ice-cold lager in the summer is wonderful. -
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Is the Watchtower organisation facing the biggest crisis of its history?
by slimboyfat inrecent developments make me think they might be.
the problems they are facing are not just lack of funds but also draining authority, and the two could be a heady and explosive mix.
one of the best analyses ever written of the watchtower was a book called "trumpet of prophecy" by sociologist james beckford in the 1970s.
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Xanthippe
If 75% left now, they would still have 2 million followers with billions of dollars in equity. The next charismatic figurehead would have the perfect springboard to launch the religion from, put his own stamp upon, and if he desired a huge cash resource to live off. - JWFacts
Yes but if that 75% included all of our families we would be overjoyed. I've always thought this religion will carry on in some form with hardcore crazies adhering to it no matter what happens. But if our families get free then to hell with the GB and all who sail in her.With all the bad press they are getting about child abuse and money grubbing while claiming charity status no sane person will join. All that will be left will be a tiny loony group. The world has plenty of those.
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75
Have we become what we despise so much?
by Tenacious inthe majority of members who tend to join this forum have been hurt possibly even traumatized sometimes to the point of wanting to end their lives.
upon joining the forum, new members are welcomed with open arms, welcome messages start pouring in, "likes" are freely given, a false sense of security is promoted where a member is free to speak his mind without having to worry about the wt gestapo.
again, similar to how potential converts are welcomed and "love bombed" upon entering a kh for the first time.
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Xanthippe
Have we become what we despise so much?
I don't know about you Tenacious but I don't despise anyone. I'm a very sensitive person and I'm easily hurt but I have to say I've become stronger by having to defend my ideas on this forum. You know what, sometimes now it's fun!
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168
Where to draw the line: how Platonism haunts our discourse and the search for exorcism
by slimboyfat inin the discussion about race i adopted a position i am not entirely comfortable with.
i think there is a sense in which it is useful to distinguish categories of description that can be fruitfully defended (apples and bananas) and those that cannot (caucasian or other racial descriptions for example).
but there is a more fundamental sense in which i believe that everything is socially constructed, every single line you can think of.
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Xanthippe
No it doesn't need explaining Nic, I get it but if you've done a history of science course at uni and seen phlogiston give way to oxygen, the ether replaced by electromagnetic waves, sulphur treatment get the boot by Penicillin ...... I'm not saying science got it 'wrong' by the way. Progress is fantastic, of course it is. I'm saying if you read the academic papers of the time as I have you would know how right they thought their facts were at the time. -
168
Where to draw the line: how Platonism haunts our discourse and the search for exorcism
by slimboyfat inin the discussion about race i adopted a position i am not entirely comfortable with.
i think there is a sense in which it is useful to distinguish categories of description that can be fruitfully defended (apples and bananas) and those that cannot (caucasian or other racial descriptions for example).
but there is a more fundamental sense in which i believe that everything is socially constructed, every single line you can think of.
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Xanthippe
Cofty you say SBF is trying to say something about our inability to know things not just about how we describe reality. I don't think so because he said this :-
We don't know what it is about how society is currently structured that will be subject to revision. Everything is tentative. That doesn't mean we can't believe in things or hold to certain perspectives we find useful. It just means we should be open to the possibility of revision.
I think he's saying something about our ability to be sure of things. I agree it doesn't seem to be important how we categorise a planet (although it might be if it was a question on 'millionaire' and you hadn't kept up). However if we take his example of mental illness, it certainly mattered to people who were mentally ill if they were treated as evil and chained in dungeon-like conditions or treated as ill and cared for in hospitals.
Changing human knowledge matters, so being dogmatic about what we know now seems inappropriate. This I believe is what this thread is about. If not, I'm sure Slim will tell me.
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168
Where to draw the line: how Platonism haunts our discourse and the search for exorcism
by slimboyfat inin the discussion about race i adopted a position i am not entirely comfortable with.
i think there is a sense in which it is useful to distinguish categories of description that can be fruitfully defended (apples and bananas) and those that cannot (caucasian or other racial descriptions for example).
but there is a more fundamental sense in which i believe that everything is socially constructed, every single line you can think of.
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Xanthippe
(1) The ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter is pi. The value of pi has been calculated to more than 13 trillion digits but is commonly approximated to 3.14159
(2) In Euclidean space, the sum of the angles in any triangle is 180°
(3) The city of London is older than the New City of Milton Keynes.
(4) Hydrogen is the lightest element on the Periodic Table.
(5) Combining yellow and blue paints will never produce red paint.
(6) Ronald Reagan was President before Barack Obama.
(7) Mercury is the closest planet to the Sun.
(8) My wife's sticky toffee pudding with caramel sauce beats any other - hands down!(9) Pluto is the ninth planet of the solar system. oops no!! wrong! not anymore.
Nic I was just reminded of this when I saw your point 7. Do you watch the egg heads quiz? I remember the day Dermot Murnaghan said 'Pluto is no longer the ninth planet, when did that happen?'
Pluto was the ninth planet of the solar system from 1930 to 2005. It is no longer. Now it's a Dwarf planet, the largest of the Kuiper Belt Objects. Perhaps this is the kind of thing Slim is getting at?
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10 Years On...
by done4good injust a note that 10 years ago, (christmas day, 2005), was my last time inside a kh.
a lot has taken place for the better in those 10 years:.
1. met the love of my life and happily married for 9 years, two days ago.. 2. completed a master's degree.. 3. work at senior management level in the it field.. 4. have a savings and retirement, and no debt outside of a mortgage and 1 car loan.. 5. lots of travel to several places that i never would have done as a jw.. 6. contribute to what i believe are meaningful causes.. 7. read, think, and meditate for myself.. 8. have a great extended family i inherited from my wife.. 9. lots of other great stuff, too much to list.. none of this is intended to be boastful.
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Xanthippe
I will miss you too Jason but I hope you and your wife have a wonderful 2016.