Posts by Xanthippe

19

Conditional Love

by Saethydd in

i've noticed several posts recently claiming that jw friends and family members give out conditional love.

well, i'm not so sure that is entirely accurate, in fact, i would say they tend to be very steadfast in their love.

the issue is this, they have been taught a poor form of love.

Xanthippe

but I would rather not get so wrapped up in my own pain that I start assuming motives that paint the people around me as cruel and vindictive.....Where possible I like to believe the best about people until proven wrong, and all I'm trying to do here is offer another point of view.

l appreciate that and many here have had good results from patiently waiting for their loved ones to leave. I agree we shouldn't assume people are doing things for bad motives but I think you have to realise that some people have been badly warped by staying in that cult for many years. Possibly even staying when they know in their hearts that it is not true.

Sadly I sometimes think that a big problem for people like my relatives is they actually may refuse to see the reality about that cult because it would mean admitting their exJW relative was right and having to apologise for their treatment of them. Some stubborn personality types actually cut off their noses to spite their faces.

19

Conditional Love

by Saethydd in

i've noticed several posts recently claiming that jw friends and family members give out conditional love.

well, i'm not so sure that is entirely accurate, in fact, i would say they tend to be very steadfast in their love.

the issue is this, they have been taught a poor form of love.

Xanthippe

But what about those of us who've been out thirty or forty years? Our families know wild horses won't drag us back to that cult. Still they shun us. You can't tell me it's still about love. For some of our relatives it's about fear that we may shake their faith, for others it's about revenge for the pain we caused them. Love to help save our lives by bringing us back? No not after all this time.

8

What if I'm attracted to the association of xJW's but not interested in JW topics?

by IveBeenBitten in

what if i'm attracted to the association of xjw's but not interested in jw topics?.

i'm interested in talking with people that are xjw's but i'm not interested in talking about jw stuff.

maybe sometimes, but is there a place to go where "jehovah's witnesses" don't have a topic?.

Xanthippe

You can start a new thread about politics, world events, entertainment, dating, marriage, children, humour and so on. Have a look at the topics under ' new topic '.

I've been out a very long time and occasionally get bored with JW subjects. Some of us like to talk about what we've been doing with our lives since leaving the religion. Sometimes people talk about travel, hobbies, what books, music or movies they like or even how to make friends.

Start a new topic, I'll look forward to it.

42

New here..help greatly appreciated

by Confusedandangry in

hi everyone i don't even know where to begin.

i recently saw leah remini's series on scientology thanks to my husband (semi-active jw) and i felt like my eyes were being opened for the 1st time in my adult life.

i felt shaken almost sick to my stomach with each episode i watched.

Xanthippe

Hi and welcome Confusedandangry. Yes I went a bit crazy too when I realised it was all false. Just take it slowly, ask your questions and we'll all try and help.

Think of it this way about your loss of years, people make mistakes all over the world or are born into horrible circumstance and regret their past. We're not the only ones. Just move on from now and look forward to all the freedom and fun you will have 🌷

41

Witnesses really hate it when you appear to leave.

by schnell in

i have a certain customer, whom we will call sally.

i know sally only by face and only through work.

i am a truck driver on a local dedicated route, and i often deliver to her work.

Xanthippe

The reaction I get from my brother whenever I try and be normal like handing him coffees and sandwiches at my uncles funeral is absolute blazing anger. He seems so angry with me and yet I don't even try to phone him anymore and I certainly don't 'apostate' at him. I am doing nothing to him at all yet all this rage.

My feeling is they get really angry because we've got away and they haven't. We're free and happy, they hate that. We should be miserable, living in poverty and having a terrible life.

3

Another JW factoid.

by DATA-DOG in

i went to visit my parents recently, and my mom went for the kh.

well...she told me that the visiting speaker from "po-dunk" usa, related a factoid.

of course it was "da troof" to her, but my demonic, critical-thinking mind started dissecting the account.

Xanthippe

Air Pollution Control Act was 1955 in the US. Clean Air Act followed in 1963 with various amendments in that decade.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clean_Air_Act_(United_States)

47

What did you regrettably not do because you were a Jehovah's Witness ?

by minimus in

jw
friends

jehovah's witnesses cannot do a lot of things.

i remember pioneers having to quit their jobs because they could not work in a convenience store and sell cigarettes.

i know of a young man who was offered a scholarship to any college or university if he wanted to go to because of his football abilities.

Xanthippe

I always wanted to go to Egypt and hoped the monuments would still be there after Armaggedon. 🙄 Now it's not safe and I may never see them. I wish I'd gone to university then for free (in the UK) got a job and travelled the world. Trying to catch up but not enough time and the world is less safe.

7

to all a thank you

by notalone in

jw
friends

to all on this site who from their hearts participate, thank you.

you encourage thought, offer support and share laughs, thank you.

you may never know what point has touched a heart or opened a mind.

Xanthippe

Thank you notalone, it's good to know what we say here helps people. There are so many different personalities and varied experiences of that organisation here usually someone can relate or advise. I hope you and your family are enjoying freedom and your daughter is doing well.

45

What's preventing YOU from stopping meeting attendance?

by nicolaou in

we all 'exit' in our own way and at our own pace but i'm curious, why carry on stuffing yourself into that stiff suit and tie or meeting dress years after you realised the truth about 'the truth'?.

they kept you a prisoner, what's stopping you from leaving now that you have the key to your own cell?.

loved ones?

Xanthippe

It's been twenty-eight years with no change from my brother and sisters so if I'd sat through meetings that whole time waiting for them to realise it's all bs I'd have wasted my life.

Don't get me wrong the cut was damned painful at the time but I've lived a life full of interesting stuff and yes Nic seen my daughter grow up free and go to uni. I haven't given up hope, who knows they may leave one day, they know where to find me.

It's different if it's your partner that's still indoctrinated. That must be really hard to cope with.

63

Is it possible to decline preaching in the carts?

by Skepsis in

jw
friends

hi folks,.

i have a difficult dilemma.

since i'm not pioneering any more, i'm reducing my hours wasted at that artifact known as cart or trolley.

Xanthippe

Couldn't you say you prefer to actually talk to people, that you feel guilty counting time standing by a cart and you'd rather go door to door? Pretend you're taking the moral high ground and want to be a really good JW. Theocratic warfare if you like, beat them at their own game.