Xanthippe

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Posts by Xanthippe

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  25

  Do you feel that you are really YOU?

  by UnshackleTheChains in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am interested in finding out how you view yourself.

  are really you when it comes to every day interactions....ie when at work, with family or friends, or if attending meetings?.

  if still attending, do you feel you are not the real you at meetings?

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  Xanthippe

  We're all multifaceted like diamonds. We use different parts of our personalities for different people, different occasions. I work with the public so I have to be the patient, caring part of me but I also have to be the won't take any shit part of me otherwise some of them would walk all over me. Frustration and annoyance has to be saved for when I talk to my colleagues and we can vent to one another.

  With friends I adapt to their personalities. Some friends are more outspoken than others and I have to give as good as I get. Others are quieter and we can have deeper, more meaningful conversations.

  I'm still working on personal boundaries. There weren't any in that religion. They're important in learning to be yourself, so you can say this is acceptable in our friendship but that is not. It's not something I grew up with and doesn't come naturally like it does with my daughter. She won't let anyone patronise her, ever.

  What I find interesting is when I face the same situation as I did last month, last year, five years ago, is asking myself am I the same person or have I changed. Lately I'm finding I have more of a sense of humour than I used to have and it helps me to be myself. People will put up with a lot if you can laugh with them but it has to be genuine, not hiding animosity while pretending to joke with them.
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  45

  What do You Think About Hybrid and Electric Cars?

  by Village Idiot in

  1. social
  2. current

  battery technology has been making leaps and bounds in affordability and energy output throughout the past decade.

  while pure electric cars currently have limited range, the near future holds prospects for longer ranges.

  hybrids, and recently plug in hybrids, have a mileage of up to 50 mpg* giving them a range of 500 miles from a ten gallon gas tank.

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  Xanthippe

  It want an electric car but they're still too expensive in the UK. I think being in a metal box with an internal combustion engine that can burst into flames if you crash is terrifying.
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  25

  Does the Average R&F JW understand what grace is in Christianity ?

  by smiddy in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i`m showing my ignorance here , not being an active member of any church before joining jw`s as a 19 yr old ,whenever i was ever confronted with the question of "grace" i was always at a loss to give an effective answer from a jw point of view.. was it just me ?

  or did anybody else have a similar experience ?.

  (ps , i dont think i ever heard the expression " grace" in a religious sense in all my 33 years in the borg.studying the wt.).

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  Xanthippe

  Yes I remember it being translated as undeserved kindness but it was different from mainstream Christianity as I understand it. Grace was something given by God through Jesus' sacrifice and you only had to be a Christian to receive it I think. In the JW religion you had to show your faith by works. That scripture, can't remember where it was, said show me your faith apart from your works and I will show you my faith by my works, faith without works is dead.

  Of course by works the JWs don't mean looking after the sick and elderly they mean meeting attendance and hours in FS. So basically undeserved kindness of God can be removed at any time if you don't measure up. I don't think the mainstream view of grace is like that.

  Its an important point Smiddy because what you are constantly being threatened with in the JWs, if you don't measure up, or if they throw you out for asking a question, is separation from God's undeserved kindness and death. Yet the whole point of the teaching is supposed to be it's undeserved, you don't have to earn it.
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  20

  Has anyone else experienced this?

  by ToesUp in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my spouse and i have faded 4+ years ago.

  we know the jw rumor mill has gotten back to our family that we no longer attend.

  most of our family is out of state.

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  Xanthippe

  Maybe they just want to keep their family together. Maybe they actually believe family matters more than religion. Sound pretty healthy to me. You sound as though you are very supportive of them, perhaps it's a genetic family trait.
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  27

  Striking Out On My Own

  by Saethydd in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  those of you who know my story are aware that i'm currently disfellowshipped and living with my parents.

  up until now, my plan has been to be reinstated and then fade, but recently my plans have changed.

  in a conversation with my mother a few days ago and she made it clear that she would not be okay with me getting reinstated with the purpose of going inactive.

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  Xanthippe

  Well done! I want to say I feel very proud of you even though I don't know you, l think you're very brave. Good luck on your job search (my daughter is at college and starts that soon). You are very intelligent and have a bright future ahead of you.
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  61

  Mental Illness

  by Tallon in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  over many years i have been pondering how mental illness has impacted upon jw's due to the effects of indoctrination.

  in my case; when i was 21 i had a breakdown and was hospitalised for 6 weeks.

  i was diagnosed with anxiety tension state disorder.

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  Xanthippe

  That vulnerability is not sufficient in itself to lead to mental health problems and this is where a second crucial variable comes in: An invalidating environment which can range from indifferently treating the individual through to overtly punishing them.

  This is what I wanted to say but thanks for giving me the professional terms Steve2. The invalidating environment of the JW religion is so damaging to people vulnerable to illnesses like depression. Whatever you do it's never enough. If you're a woman you're a second-class person to start with. If you're a married woman and you don't have children you're nobody, even if you're getting 100 hours a month pioneering, still nobody!

  The low self esteem is endemic in that religion and if you have a bilogical vulnerability to depression as Steve says you're in real danger of being ill for years as I was. Five years of clinical depression without medication because thirty-five years ago pscychiatrists were the spawn of the devil and medication was a no-no. I defy anyone who says the WTS never said that, I was there! Since leaving I only had one short bout of depression for five months when my parents died and I did take medication.

  Building self esteem by gradually achieving more things in life while removing toxic people or groups who drag you down is the key to mental health in my opinion.

  Good health to you too Tallon.
  
  
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  47

  We are becoming champions of grief. We lost twin B.

  by Darkknight757 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  last week we had a reassurance ultrasound with our ob.

  she was just supposed to check heartbeats on the two little ones and they were going strong!

  but because she had extra time and she can be quite anal about her work (which is a good thing) she decided to take some measurements.

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  Xanthippe

  I'm so sorry for your loss Darkknight. I can't begin to imagine how you both must feel.
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  10

  So, how's it feel, Watchtower -- now that the shoe's on the other foot?

  by FatFreek 2005 in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  yes, your cult has been banned in russia.

  what surprises me is that this hasn't happened in more countries.

  what surprises me is that civil suits in the u.s. haven't flooded the courts -- violation of civil and human rights because of the cruel act of shunning of disfellowshipped ones, even members of one's own family.. discrimination is a form of cruelty and civil and human rights define such.

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  Xanthippe

  Don't just "accept" that the shunning is inevitable and then let them hide behind it. Make it uncomfortable for them. Make it embarrassing. Make them have to say out loud "because I'm loveless turd of a person who choses to do what someone else wants me to rather than what is right". Make it more difficult to shun than it is to not shun and watch them turn and fight the people with the whips.

  I wholeheartedly agree with this Simon, it's what I've done with my family. They try and fall back on the we are only following orders nonsense but how dare they. I won't engage with my family at funerals any more. They're only doing it for show anyway. They drop me straight afterwards. I've made it very clear that I'm disgusted with their treatment of me. Historically people who only followed orders did it because authorities threatened to torture them or torture and kill their wife and children.

  What are the JWs threatening their members with? They might stop them running mics or selling that stupid rag on a street corner. Or they might even take them into a back room and threaten them with being thrown out of the membership of a pathetic little church if they speak to us. Not exactly thumb screws is it? Not going to be racked or burnt at the stake.
  
  
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  37

  "Hard work never killed anyone," or "I have to give up knitting."

  by compound complex in

  1. social
  2. humour

  greetings, my aging friends:.

  it's not really a funny subject, our getting old and our bodies falling apart.

  sure, as the saying goes, hard work won't kill you, but it can wear out your body.

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  Xanthippe

  Xanthippe you might know this. Omega 6 which is found in great quantities in most of all are process foods and even commercially raised meat and fish causes obesity and inflammation. It is omega 3 we need more than omega 6. Both needed but omega 3 is the good one. Still Totally ADD

  That's really interesting because I've been aware of the link between too much protein and arthritis for some time but I didn't know that the specific thing in meat and fish that causes inflammation is called omega 6. I mainly eat fish now and predominantly oily fish which contains omega 3. Thanks for the information, I'm going to read up on that.

  Interestingly Professor Alice Roberts who is an anatomist and palaeopathologist and knows a thing or two about bones describes herself as a pescatarian, she only eats fish and not meat. You may have seen her TV documentaries.

  
  
  
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  37

  "Hard work never killed anyone," or "I have to give up knitting."

  by compound complex in

  1. social
  2. humour

  greetings, my aging friends:.

  it's not really a funny subject, our getting old and our bodies falling apart.

  sure, as the saying goes, hard work won't kill you, but it can wear out your body.

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  Xanthippe

  @ Greatteacher

  (From the NHS website)

  Vitamin B6 is found in a wide variety of foods, including:

  • pork
  • poultry – such as chicken or turkey
  • fish
  • bread
  • wholegrain cereals – such as oatmeal, wheatgerm and brown rice
  • eggs
  • vegetables
  • soya beans
  • peanuts
  • milk
  • potatoes
  • some fortified breakfast cereals

  Don't take more than 10mg of vitamin B6 a day in supplements unless advised to by a doctor.
  

  • http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/vitamins-minerals/Pages/Vitamin-B.aspx#B6