Posts by Xanthippe

8

This is a Masterpiece of writing as an example of properly breaking bad news

by TerryWalstrom in

jw
friends

what follows is a masterpiece of writing.

this is how to present bad news and make it palatable.____from a college coed to her parents___.

dear mother and dad:.

My GoFundMe Campaign

by pale.emperor in

hi guys.. as some of you may be aware, i'm currently studying in uni part time training to become a therapist and councilor for ex-cult victims.

my goal is to be the vest best therapist i can be, specifically for ex-witnesses (because i can relate completely), and i plan to incorporate hypnotherapy in my therapy sessions.. i have already trained in hypnosis, however i'm not trained in hypnosis for therapy.

nor am i licensed to practice it in therapeutic work.. i'm hoping you can help me to change that.

Xanthippe

I just want to say Snare is such a nice guy. He's worked so very hard to become a doctor after leaving the cult and I think he lost all his family too. He's always so humble and kind and yet he's so intelligent and well-educated. Listen to him PE, he's one of the good guys.

17

Daniel Kokotajlo’s Apostasy enters UK Top 15 box office films

by steve2 in

jw
friends

fantastic news just in: daniel kokotajlo’s film apostasy about a jw family facing the blood issue and - ahem - a daughter who apostatises - was released late last week in the united kingdom.

even though it received limited release in its first weekend and is going to be in more cinemas this weekend, it has entered the top 15 films at no.

12 - a magnificent result for a highly acclaimed film made on a shoe string.

Xanthippe

I can't find it either near me Alanv

48

Healing & Rebuilding Your Life - Feedback Wanted

by jp1692 in

i have been invited to speak at an international cultic studies association workshop this fall.

i could use your help in focusing on my presentation subject.. these workshops are for former members of any cult or other high-control, authoritarian group, not just jehovah's witnesses.

last year, i spoke at one of their larger conferences in europe.

Xanthippe

in time a person will find that words like " the truth " don't automatically pop up into your head anymore. It took me about 12 years or so to get to that point, - Flipper

I'm actually surprised at this, the cult phrases just seemed to vanish after we left. We left in 1989 and the next year I did a computing course at college to help me get a job. I wonder if it was being in the real world with 'normal' people that helped me get rid of the JW mindset so quickly?

I hope I'm not sounding arrogant Flipper, I'm just intrigued. Perhaps it was the necessity to find work because we were so broke after pioneering? It does drive you when you're left poor. We just focused on integrating into the 'world' because we had to make a living and drag ourselves out of the poverty trap. You had other problems with your jw wife and losing your kids to the cult, I know. It's just interesting, our different paths

30

Cheese!

by neat blue dog in

any cheese lovers out there?

i just love virtually any kind, from creamy and soft to brittle and sharp, from cottage cheese to the 'moldy' cheeses like gorgonzola.

i like to try new things, so any suggestions for cheese varieties you have tried?

Xanthippe

Brie with mango chutney in a sandwhich. Goats cheese is good melted under the grill in a pastry tart with red onion. I had feta in an omelette in Greece, delicious.

28

Great news!

by Half banana in

it's a case of two down and one to go.

my darling daughter has announced to the extended family that she has left jehovah's witnesses!

deep joy!.

Xanthippe

Fantastic news half banana! A reward for all your patience and biting your tongue. Well done!

14

Evolution of a congregation 1978- 2018

by joey jojo in

our whole congregation was excited as we stood in front of our brand new kh and smiled for the photographer from the local newspaper.. for years we had been travelling 30 mins each way to attend the meetings and now, after a big effort of donations and hard work we finally had our own kh in our own town.

in the picture, there were 45 smiling faces of all ages, from the newborn to the old brother that had turned 100 and everyone in between.

the year was 1978.. the congregation grew and shrank over the years, probably hitting its peak during the 80's and 90's, there was even a renovation in the early 90's that the local brothers donated towards, for the benefit of the local town to hear the good news about the imminent arrival of the end.

Xanthippe

Then, around 2012, the C.O. told the brothers that their little hall was going to be sold ........ Some of the brothers were a little hurt and complained to the C.O. but he assured them that the money was to the worldwide work and it would help anyone that the ORG decided needed it.

It boggles my mind that after scrimping and saving for their own KH which should have belonged to them the Borg swoop in and steal it from them. Sheer daylight robbery!

Thanks for this story which highlights the evil of this cult.

28

I don't get why some point to the no tolerance for gays and subjugation of women as a JW thing.

by blownaway in

some churches have taken the step to allow gays, women instructing men ect.

but its not a jw thing.

its a bible thing.

Xanthippe

But if I were a bible believer I would have to either just ignore parts of the bible or hate Gays and Women equality with men. Thems the facts.

Yeah I guess you would if your head was still stuck in the Bronze Age. Many Christians, and I'm not one of them btw being an atheist, try to accept the Bible as the work of imperfect men guided by God.

They're not fundamentalists so don't believe every word literally. They try to bring Christianity up to date with compassion. It's not the way I wanted to go but I can see where they're coming from.

48

Healing & Rebuilding Your Life - Feedback Wanted

by jp1692 in

i have been invited to speak at an international cultic studies association workshop this fall.

i could use your help in focusing on my presentation subject.. these workshops are for former members of any cult or other high-control, authoritarian group, not just jehovah's witnesses.

last year, i spoke at one of their larger conferences in europe.

Xanthippe

1. Examining our beliefs, the false and harmful (dysfunctional) core beliefs.

2. Treatments & Interventions-seeking treatments from working with mental health professionals to self-help.

3. Dealing with isolation and lonliness (shunning)

4.Psychoeducation

5. Discovering your authentic self

6. The five stages of grief/loss Kubler-Ross model

I'm not sure if you're speaking about beliefs in the religious or psychological sense but they tend to overlap in ex-cult members anyway. We need to be sure we know the cult is doctrinally wrong to prevent running back to it at moments of crisis.

We also need to deal with our self-limiting beliefs of low self-esteem and guilt along with false beliefs about the real world. These include feeling people are bad, there is no point to life without God, further education is about arrogance and materialism etc.

I would emphasise that getting therapy or councelling is a good idea but only if the practitioner understands cults. If they don't you really need to find someone else, so it can be a stressful process finding the right person.

I agree with SBF, I'm not sure about the notion of an authentic self. We change, quite drastically I find, every few years. Life events change our perceptions and therefore our personality. I understand the concept that there is a 'real' person under the cult persona but the trauma of the leaving process alters us again so this is difficult to pin down.

Having lost fifteen family members and friends including my husband over the last twenty years I have read Kubler-Ross and I like her compassionate style but I struggle with the stages of grief/loss. It's just not like that. You don't move forward in an orderly fashion, you go backwards and forwards for years through anger, denial etc.

Do you ever reach total acceptance as Kubler-Ross suggests? I prefer what my psychologist said, you will probably be left with a dark pool of sorrow ( about your life in the cult) within yourself that gets smaller and smaller but never totally goes away.

I disassociated from the JWs thirty years ago next February.

20

Is the Earth really that great?

by DATA-DOG in

i enjoy watching nature documentaries; david attenborough being my favorite host and narrator.

that being said, i’ve come to the conclusion that contrary to xianity’s teaching, the earth is not “perfectly placed/designed for life.” .

when you actually observe the world at large, without blinders, it’s a wonder that life even exists.

Xanthippe

Tennyson wrote about 'nature red in tooth and claw' about the time Darwin discovered natural selection. The earth isn't perfect at all, we have a battle for survival and no damn positive mental attitude will change that.