Posts by Xanthippe

43

Help Please - Finding It Hard Adjusting To The Real World

by pale.emperor in

im asking for you guys help in a phase im going through right now.

im sure it’ll pass but id appreciate your advice..

born in, my family consists of mum, dad, two brothers and two sisters.

Xanthippe

Any born in’s relate to this? How long until this passes? Am I supposed to do something to speed up the transition to a normal life?

Hi pale.emperor. My husband and I didn't want to celebrate Christmas the first year we were out of the cult. We just didn't want to jump into what felt at the time like another set of customs that you had to follow. We did celebrate the second year and had a wonderful time. So just take it easy and if something feels wrong at the moment then don't do it.

You don't have to break the programming, it actually relies on continually being reinforced by regular meetings. If you stay away it all just fades from your mind as you start doing the things you like. Your reactions are quite normal, we were indoctrinated to think certain things are wrong, this is not the authentic you, it's just years of habit-forming rule-keeping.

Try and relax and just do whatever feels good. Think of it like getting over a long illness. Don't run before you can walk and take a day at a time.

On a positive note, we have the chance to do life the way we want to do it. Lots of people wish they could run away from their lives and even some of their relatives and just do whatever they like, deciding as an adult rather than just following family habits and long established rules of behaviour.

We get the chance to start again. Try and enjoy it. Take care.

406

Goodbye JWD/JWN (my last post)

by slimboyfat in

jw
friends

after some considerable thought i have decided that i will no longer post on this forum because i want to return to jehovah.

thank you for all the kindness and many interesting discussions over the years.

i wish you all well in the future and the decisions you make.

Xanthippe

4

JW's are like vegetarians

by darkspilver in

jw
friends

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/60685/should-witnesses-vegetarian.

italian chef gianfranco vissani: "vegans?

they’re like the members of a sect.

Xanthippe

Really? My vegetarian daughter always has a lovely time in Italy, lots of pasta and pizza that she can eat. France is the difficult place. They eat every bit of an animal and even the nasty bits. They don't like vegetarians and don't cater for them. Vegans are not the same as vegetarians BTW, I can't be bothered to watch the video, can't see the point, can't understand Italian.

21

Are the Elders harder on Women

by Steel in

i was having a discussion with an old friend last night.

her parents are divorced and his mother never became “one of jehovah witnesses “ .

long story short she claims elders are generally hardier on women than men.

Xanthippe

My experience was that many elders hate women with strong personalities and opinions. They think women should be seen and not heard. Some would ignore my hand at meetings. One elder used to ignore me at the meeting for FS and after everyone had been given territory I would be left standing on the street corner and would have to ask him for some as he turned to walk away. His wife was a quiet little mouse. That's how he liked it. He never helped with housework, that was women's work.

Once when we were expecting a new book from the convention I went to the literature desk to see if it had arrived only to find we weren't 'allowed' to have it yet for some unknown reason and the elder who ignored me at meetings for FS was standing right behind me at the desk trying to catch me out doing something 'wrong'. He was so close that as I stepped back I trod on his foot. I certainly made sure to grind my stiletto heel into his shoe. He was hopping around for ages. 😄

9

The worst idea in the world

by Bugbear in

now i´ve been thinking …(a very rare occupation for my brain) and the question is :.

what could be the very worst/dangerous/harmful thought in our head?.

could it be that we are more beautiful / stronger / smarter / faster than the rest of our human brothers or sisters?.

Xanthippe

The worst idea in the world, that the world needs cleansing of a certain race, of anyone who isn't a certain race, a certain religion, of the 'wicked', of anyone who isn't like us.

11

Planning ahead for the desires of the flesh.

by Xanthippe in

i've just booked some cinema tickets for later today and also ordered a book i want to take on holiday.

from nowhere that scripture they were always quoting at us came to me, something about don't be planning ahead for the desires of the flesh.

you always had to be planning spiritual, theocratic stuff, entertainment and pleasure were a bit dodgy, better not tell anyone.

Xanthippe

Actually I had this in mind, sun, sea and sailing. Sod the convention

29

"Inactive" non Attenders, how much power do the JW's have over YOU ?

by Phizzy in

i was thinking about this because of the constant reminders we get in posts that we inactive non attenders have to be careful what we say to jw's, and what we do that they may learn about etc, if we don't wish to be before a j.c. the power they have is limited by what we give them.

now, i do not wish to be declared df'd of da'd, it would kill my old mum i think.. but i refuse to live my life looking over my shoulder, that, in my opinion, is giving them too much power.. i openly vote, i openly donate blood, i enjoy the odd cigar etc etc.. how much power do you allow them to have over you ?.

Xanthippe

Just another perspective for a moment, I was thinking about fear of upsetting elderly parents and family so therefore people try and fade. Perhaps this sounds heartless but my mother was very upset when I left as were my brother and sisters. Am I to be held responsible for people who never read anything of depth or think deeply in their entire lives? Who switch off the news, never read a newspaper and until the GB said it was okay, rejected information technology. Is it my fault they are wilfully ignorant and this has caused them pain when I left the cult?

We are all responsible for continually learning about our world and if we choose to be lazy and put on rose coloured glasses because life is difficult and painful then we have to put up with our more intelligent, more well-read relatives going their own way.

That's what I did and they just dumped me without asking why or caring what moved my heart to make that decision. If that broke their hearts then so be it. Sorry but that's just how I feel today.

11

Planning ahead for the desires of the flesh.

by Xanthippe in

i've just booked some cinema tickets for later today and also ordered a book i want to take on holiday.

from nowhere that scripture they were always quoting at us came to me, something about don't be planning ahead for the desires of the flesh.

you always had to be planning spiritual, theocratic stuff, entertainment and pleasure were a bit dodgy, better not tell anyone.

Xanthippe

Yeah 2+2= 5 I'm feeling really guilty 😏

Ucantnome you should have at least two vacations a year now to make up for it. Same here because my mother took us to conventions instead! Then I pioneered so no money, stupid! Making up for it now.

11

Planning ahead for the desires of the flesh.

by Xanthippe in

i've just booked some cinema tickets for later today and also ordered a book i want to take on holiday.

from nowhere that scripture they were always quoting at us came to me, something about don't be planning ahead for the desires of the flesh.

you always had to be planning spiritual, theocratic stuff, entertainment and pleasure were a bit dodgy, better not tell anyone.

Xanthippe

I've just booked some cinema tickets for later today and also ordered a book I want to take on holiday. From nowhere that scripture they were always quoting at us came to me, something about don't be planning ahead for the desires of the flesh.

You always had to be planning spiritual, theocratic stuff, entertainment and pleasure were a bit dodgy, better not tell anyone. No wonder they're all sick and have mental health problems.

22

what a wonderful site!

by scruffmcbuff in

ive been reading through this forum for a while and thought i should contribute!.

so im df, i was very involved regular pioneer for several years and i slowly started to wake up.. my exprience of leaving is horendous and contains alot of shocking (but apparently not that rare in the orgs) judicials and various encounters with the elders.. ive been out 10 years now and at 27 loving life!

running a succesful business and dont all thay materialistic stuff thata frowned apon, like providing my wife and kids with a nice car and house!

Xanthippe

Hi Scruff a warm welcome from Leicestershire.