Xanthippe

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Posts by Xanthippe

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  20

  Dealing with Loneliness and Social Anxiety

  by NoviceLocs14 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hello, this is my 1st initiated post on this site, so i'm a bit nervous.

  i did search for similar topics on this site, but a lot of them have been inactive for several years, so here goes.... a little background, i was pretty much born in "da twoof", baptized at 17, pioneered for about 6 years, was part of the rbc part time, and was even in the foreign language field for the last 3 years i was a jw.

  so i pretty much had a pretty active social life within the organization due to being part of all of those things.

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  Xanthippe

  Hi Novice, I totally understand your feelings. I left with my husband but lost all my family and friends like you. I have recently joined a Meetup group online. Just google it if you don't know what it is. We go to see plays and have meals out. There's also a book group within this Meetup.

  I've found it brilliant because Meetup is basically designed for people who want to expand their social life. You can check out what the group's about and the age range. Join several if you like, you don't have to go to anything you don't fancy and no one will be like 'where were you' if you don't go as they are in the JWs. Try it.
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  39

  How do you get over all the things that you missed? The stuff you can't get back

  by JW_Rogue in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  look my life is not bad but sometimes i just think about all the normal things i missed out on.

  and no i'm not talking about christmas and birthday parties.

  i'm talking about your first kiss happening in your twenties instead of your teens.

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  Xanthippe

  @confusedandangry it's not too late. I pioneered like you and left at thirty. I was a few weeks off 37 when I had my daughter. Many women are having children at forty now. Go for it!
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  39

  How do you get over all the things that you missed? The stuff you can't get back

  by JW_Rogue in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  look my life is not bad but sometimes i just think about all the normal things i missed out on.

  and no i'm not talking about christmas and birthday parties.

  i'm talking about your first kiss happening in your twenties instead of your teens.

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  Xanthippe

  Yeah I get it, when I took my daughter to look at universities I felt a pang wash over me. I could have done this and there were no tuition fees then! Frustrating is putting it mildly.

  The way I cope is by thinking as broadly about life as possible. Try and think globally and historically. So many kids don't get to go to school let alone college because they are dirt poor in a poor country. For millennia poor people were trodden underfoot by the privileged rich. We are by pure accident born in rich countries and we live in a great century.

  As you say your life is not so bad and neither is mine. I would have like a better job and be able to travel more but life is what it is. Probably the hardest thing to live with is that we have done it to ourselves, but we were indoctrinated, many of us from babies. I just try and be grateful for what I have now and move on. It doesn't mean it hasn't hurt badly in the past.
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  10

  Alerts etc

  by Xanthippe in

  1. forum
  2. suggestions

  i wonder if it's possible for those of us who've been out decades to have alerts or alternatively see a grouping of threads in a folder or something similar if something actually happens of interest in the borg.. i'm not really interested in the day to day stuff about this cult but i would like to know if anything drastically changes as my siblings and their kids are still trapped.

  i don't know anything about creating the code for forums so i don't know what is possible but if you don't ask you don't get.

  this is not a criticism it's just time for me to move on and just drop in occasionally..

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  Xanthippe

  Yeah that's why I came here in the first place Smiddy to help my family and a friend of my husband's who got in contact. I will pop in from time to time.

  I actually love to hear about people's lives on here. Where they've travelled to, their families, people getting an education late on and starting a new life. Love that. Just don't want to know what the latest watchtower says. Had enough of that when I was in. Take care.
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  10

  Alerts etc

  by Xanthippe in

  1. forum
  2. suggestions

  i wonder if it's possible for those of us who've been out decades to have alerts or alternatively see a grouping of threads in a folder or something similar if something actually happens of interest in the borg.. i'm not really interested in the day to day stuff about this cult but i would like to know if anything drastically changes as my siblings and their kids are still trapped.

  i don't know anything about creating the code for forums so i don't know what is possible but if you don't ask you don't get.

  this is not a criticism it's just time for me to move on and just drop in occasionally..

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  Xanthippe

  Yes I thought that would be the problem Simon, deciding what is important. I suppose I only want to hear if the religion collapses and the HQ in America is shut down. Anything else is just well to be honest a bit boring when you've been out as long as I have. I don't mean people's experiences of leaving, they've been fascinating and sometimes heart-rending.

  It was interesting to hear about the ban in Russia but I think as many people on here have also said, my family will just see that as persecution and get even more entrenched.

  I still hold out hope that the child abuse court cases will suddenly snowball and the payouts will bankrupt this cult.
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  10

  Alerts etc

  by Xanthippe in

  1. forum
  2. suggestions

  i wonder if it's possible for those of us who've been out decades to have alerts or alternatively see a grouping of threads in a folder or something similar if something actually happens of interest in the borg.. i'm not really interested in the day to day stuff about this cult but i would like to know if anything drastically changes as my siblings and their kids are still trapped.

  i don't know anything about creating the code for forums so i don't know what is possible but if you don't ask you don't get.

  this is not a criticism it's just time for me to move on and just drop in occasionally..

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  Xanthippe

  I wonder if it's possible for those of us who've been out decades to have alerts or alternatively see a grouping of threads in a folder or something similar if something actually happens of interest in the Borg.

  I'm not really interested in the day to day stuff about this cult but I would like to know if anything drastically changes as my siblings and their kids are still trapped. I don't know anything about creating the code for forums so I don't know what is possible but if you don't ask you don't get. This is not a criticism it's just time for me to move on and just drop in occasionally.
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  27

  I want to know what celebrations JWs don't consider pagan?

  by Chook in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i could only think of weddings and wedding anniversaries .

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  Xanthippe

  I remember saying at an elder's house if birthdays are wrong partly because they are honouring an individual which is idolatry how can we celebrate wedding anniversaries which is honouring two people. Dead silence followed.
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  14

  JW Cultish Thoughts about RIP!

  by Iamallcool in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ones who are lovers of jehovah .

  dont say rip .

  rip is also pagan in origin.

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  Xanthippe

  It may have its origins in the teaching of purgatory but I think it means something quite different now. The way people write in an obituary that a person died peacefully at home or in hospital. We like to think it was a 'good death' that they didn't suffer. When we hear of a death people often say on here RIP but I don't think for a minute they mean hope you're not in hell, they mean hope it was peaceful.
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  17

  Never give up!

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i just wanted to share a quick thread to remind us all to never give up hope that our loved ones who are still mentally trapped in the org may one day wake up.. when i first starting waking up i never thought my wife would also awake.

  i have always loved and respected her ability to think and reason, but i assumed that the hold of the organisation would always have its grip on her.. but slowly, and with patience, i shared some things i had learned, and the results have been amazing!.

  my dear wife, who posts here under the name "unstuck" is so fully awake along with me.

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  Xanthippe

  Good reminder thanks Stuck. So happy for you two.
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  3

  WT Quote of the Day

  by berrygerry in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  wt jan 15, 1985. these loyal subjects of god’s government have no crime problem among themselves, .

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  Xanthippe

  1985? That was just about the time my brother in law got the sack for stealing from his employer. The congregation removed him from being an elder so he moved a hundred miles or so away and soon got reappointed.