Posts by Xanthippe

8

Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development - did you miss a stage?

by Butterfly607 in

erikson's stages of psychosocial development include this fifth stage:.

"the fifth stage of erik erikson's theory of psychosocial development is identity vs. role confusion, and it occurs during adolescence, from about 12-18 years.

during this stage, adolescents search for a sense of self and personal identity, through an intense exploration of personal values, beliefs, and goals.".

Xanthippe

from about 12-18 years. During this stage, adolescents search for a sense of self and personal identity, through an intense exploration of personal values, beliefs, and goals

I remember this stage in my daughter, obsessed with cult tv programs, cult films, heroes, books and ideas. So much energy and enthusiasm given over to just trying out stuff to see if she liked it, if it felt right for her.

Very true, Butterfly607, whenever are born in JWs allowed to explore their likes and dislikes in that way?

I do think I missed this stage and I've been slowly catching up but I'm not there yet. Very helpful thanks.

17

First Xmas? Or older traditions? 🎄

by Theonlyoneleft in

is anyone here doing their first xmas this year?🎄🎄.

i love xmas!

almost around the corner and i’ve started thinking of all the prep needed for family time.

Xanthippe

I like the pagan evergreens at Christmas. A real tree smelling gorgeous, holly on my front door.

Our first time celebrating we bought each other very cheap presents, lots of second hand books now we could read whatever we liked! I've tried to stick to that, expensive presents just burden people.

One memory I have, walking home from my daughter's school play, warmed by sherry and mince pies. She looked so beautiful dressed as an angel with her long blonde hair.

I'm not religious but I loved that she could do what I could never do as a child and just join in! The frost was sparkling like diamonds on the pavements, the stars were so bright. A memory I will always treasure.

15

I realize that this is kind of personal, but

by stillin in

jw
friends

what does being a "spiritual person" mean to you?

the religion would have had us to believe that our place in the organization is definitive of that.

or how often we pray.

Xanthippe

To me recognising we have spiritual needs means there is more to life than filling our physical needs for water, food, shelter and sex. We also need music, art, literature, creativity, love, friendship, travel and curiosity about how the universe works.

From prehistoric times when we painted on cave walls and made music with our voices and danced for the joy of it we knew there was more to life than physical needs.

I think we also need a purpose but that should be personal to each person. Whether we live for saving lives as a doctor, raising children to be happy and healthy or following our sports team, we need a passion and a reason to be alive. We shouldn't let anyone dictate our life's purpose, that's our decision. No one in silly robes quoting an ancient book should decide for us.

30

November 2019 Watchtower (Would love to hear the comments in the hall)

by pleaseresearch in

from the november 2019 watchtower study edition.. how many of you would like to know what the brothers and sisters would respond to this question.

also, if you went into a hall how would you like to respond to the question.. 8. how should we respond to lies?.

8 satan, “the father of the lie,” uses those under his control to spread lies about jehovah and about our brothers and sisters.

Xanthippe

We do not allow anyone or anything, including curiosity, to draw us into arguing with them

JWs aren't allowed to have curiosity. Don't research anything, don't question anything. But we're not a cult!

Curiosity is the life blood of sentient animals, without it we're just insects.

54

Confession Time - Music You're Embarrassed to Admit Listening To

by Simon in

jw
friends

admit it, we all have things that we reel off when people ask what our favourite music is, just the same as if people ask what our favourite movies are.

we're meant to say "citizen kane" and "casablanca" and not "battleship" or "pacific rim" but we know what we're going to watch if they are ever on tv at the same time (and which ones we've never actually seen).. so how about some confession time?

what do you listen to when no one else is in the house?.

Xanthippe

So many here I'd forgotten about. Karen Carpenter did have an amazing voice, an incredible range.

Roger Whittaker singing Dirty old Town. Yes and Andy Williams singling Home Loving Man. Omg now I feel ancient.

I love Katie Melua but hardly ever say so because everyone cringes when I do. I even like Nine Million Bicycles. Yup, afraid so!

21

Take a Moment and Think About How Awesome You Are

by Simon in

jw
friends

it's easy to get bogged down with life and think you're not getting ahead or progressing.

but regardless of where we think things may be going, pretty much everyone who's come through this site is an achiever who's done an amazing thing in one way or another even if they may not think about it.. so think about it!.

you got past and over your programming and indoctrination.

Xanthippe

Does it still exist Xanthippe? I studied for a bit at LSE.

I don't think so Diog, I did an online search for it the other day but didn't find anything.

My late husband was asked to give a talk about JWs at a seminar at the LSE. People who'd left other cults also spoke. It was really interesting seeing the similarities.

Then for a few years we were a phone contact for ex-jws who wanted someone to talk to. After that INFORM found a married couple who'd left the JWs and also had counselling qualifications to take over. That must have been over twenty years ago.

Yes I keep meaning to do more research on Confucius. It's interesting that he wrote a version of the Golden Rule in his Analects 500 years before Jesus was supposed to have said it.

21

Take a Moment and Think About How Awesome You Are

by Simon in

jw
friends

it's easy to get bogged down with life and think you're not getting ahead or progressing.

but regardless of where we think things may be going, pretty much everyone who's come through this site is an achiever who's done an amazing thing in one way or another even if they may not think about it.. so think about it!.

you got past and over your programming and indoctrination.

Xanthippe

Well said Simon! My husband and I volunteered for a charity called INFORM based at the London School of Economics for a while after we left the JWs. It helped people learn about religious cults of all kinds.

The people who ran the charity said to us the amazing thing that you've acheived is that you left the JWs, leaving a cult is so hard.

They reacted as if we'd done something almost miraculous because they studied JWs, Moonies, Children of God etc and they knew the hold cults have. We should be proud of ourselves.

3

Another Day Another Horror Story

by Slidin Fast in

drip, drip.

drip the erosion continues.. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-10-10/jehovahs-witness-abuse-exposed/11561776.

Xanthippe

Just makes you weep, all those poor people. All those little children suffering, ignored by this monstrous cult.

7

Thirty years a tower slave

by rickroll in

i was with my brother in law when we were in service and given this book.

i have posted on this before but it got me to thinking.

it was taken from us by the local elder we talk to about it.

Xanthippe

If you mean Thirty Years a Watchtower Slave I read it when I was sixteen. My sixteen-year-old true believer self at the time thought the author was very bitter. I haven't looked at it since so my view might be quite different now.

My mother was horrified I brought it home from the library but it's just a shame it took me another 14 years to leave.

15

"This is Where They Lived Happily Ever After Begins"

by The Bethelite in

jw
friends

i saw this sign (i'm sure the bride must have bought it) at a wedding rehearsal dinner yesterday.. yes, the smiling bride was there ordering her soon to be groom around as they were setting up their party decorations.

i'm sure today october 5th will would be the happiest day of their young lives.. have you ever noticed that many movies end at the wedding ceremony?

because for the vast majority of marriages that is the best it ever gets!

Xanthippe

I've been in love a few times and l was married for 27 years. Apparently apes are not naturally monogamous. It's true relationships don't stay the same and marriage can be hard work. I may be lazy now but I just don't want to work that hard anymore.