Posts by Phoebe

26

Suicide in the spiritual paradise all too common

by doubtfull1799 in

just heard that a young brother committed suicide this week - the whole congregation is naturally very distressed.

what a tragedy.

according to my source he'd only been married about a year and his wife found him - he’d hung himself.

Phoebe

Thank you everyone :)

What we must try and get across to people who we think are having problems is to seek help and be honest, tell your counselor, therapist, psychologist, doctor...tell them everything.

I know a sister who suffered from severe depression for 15 years. She said she didn't go to the doctor because she didn't want to bring 'reproach on God's name' and she wore that statement like a badge of honour. But for what? The WT are doing a very good job of bringing reproach on the name 'Jehovah' all by themselves.

I hope if there is anyone on this forum who is reading this and is suffering..please get help. I was helped and I got through it.

Of course, it goes without saying that during my recovery you all helped me too...you just didn't know it! I owe you all a big hug.

xx

26

Suicide in the spiritual paradise all too common

by doubtfull1799 in

just heard that a young brother committed suicide this week - the whole congregation is naturally very distressed.

what a tragedy.

according to my source he'd only been married about a year and his wife found him - he’d hung himself.

Phoebe

This breaks my heart. If only people felt free or were encouraged to seek help.

But we have to put on that kingdom smile and suffer in silence because to be honest about how you feel isn’t upbuilding to others. As one prominent member of London bethel once bragged to an elder in my congregation (who idolised him) he once asked a sister how she was and she began to honestly tell him to which he replied ‘don’t bring me down sister, don’t bring me down’ and walked away. He was actually proud of the fact he pushed a sister (who had problems) away. He advised this elder to do the same.

When I was at my lowest I wrote goodbye letters to my kids. I was at the meeting and an elder asked me how I was. It was the first time an elder had asked me in years! I told him I was so low I’d written goodbye letters to the kids. I didn’t want to be here anymore. He replied ‘sorry to hear that’ (while staring over my shoulder obviously preoccupied with something else) walked away and never spoke to me again.

I decided to seek help and started seeing a psychologist. The elders got to hear and we’re not pleased. They came to my house and advised me against it. When I said I’m going anyway, an elders wife took me on one said and said ‘you’d better not tell the psychologist you’re a witness. It’s not for them to know’

I decided there was no point in going if I wasn’t going to be honest so I told the psychologist everything.

Thank goodness I did. It saved me. I am just so heart broken for those who feel there is no way out of their problems except death.

34

Active witnesses? Please help?

by Ahava in

hi,i'm lost and a little sad.

i actually like the jw faith.

some might call this faith cold, strict, dogmatic but they're just trying to follow rules and give back to god.

Phoebe

Hello Ahava

i hope you are still here. Please don’t rush into baptism despite any pressure you may get to do so. Once baptised if you change your mind there are massive consequences.

go to JWFacts and do your research.

I still believe in God and I was a witness for over 60 years. Do I believe the GB are from God, absolutely not! Do I think JWS are God’s one true religion? No.

It sounds like you love the structure and friendship in the organization but this isn’t enough to make a life long commitment to something you are unsure of.

please make sure you know what you are doing.

13

Fading with Confidence

by gone for good in

abandoning a damaging cult is not a crime, in fact it might be viewed as a moral imperative given the levels of abuse awaiting those surrendering to its teachings and worse –its "ecclesiastic authority".. it has always seemed counter productive to inform potential enemies when your life´s goals now conflict with their rigid agendas.

disassociation letters and manifestos may be cathartic in the writing, but the outcome is a 100% certainty because of the inflexibility and lack of caring by the very group it is delivered to.. .

"fading" from under "high control" seems an oxymoronic risk at best, and currently faders walk on eggshells and look over their shoulders for years during and after the attempt - fearful that the price of their freedom will be the destruction of their friendships and family ties.. perhaps a peculiar additional preparation to a fade can reverse the balance of power – and high control cults are all about power.. .. bear in mind: - .

Phoebe

Really, really good post.

I was fading but I am so sick of being bothered by elders and elderettes, being watched on Facebook (I have protected my personal page but have a public page for my business and one of the elderettes couldn't help but make a comment about something and I though 'oh, so now you are looking at my page' They also were following me on Instagram until I blocked them.) that I feel I should abandon the fade and go for a clean break.

Things that hold me back: 1) When they announce you no one will know you have DA. They'll all think you were DF for something. 2) It's giving them authority over me as Della Street said above. 3) I live in very small town could I cope with the shunning? 4) My uber brother and sister would be so happy to hear I am out

But as long as you are technically a JW they are always going to be watching and waiting.

12

EXJW Fifth Interviews Jason Wynne - Founder of AvoidJW.org

by Wakanda in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bahseeaoof8.

simply fabulous.

ps.

Phoebe

This was the most amazing interview.

I didn't want the interview to end and will definitively watch it again.

Plus EXJW Fifth is just so good at interviewing people, isn't he?

28

advice please/data protection

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i have just received an email from an elder's wife regarding the new data protection laws.

between the lines it sounds like she has been asked to contact me.. she says they 'don't want to leave me out' so they want me to fill out the form as 'i'm still part of the congregation'.

also, my blood card needs updating, apparently.. the elder in charge will be in contact.. obviously, i'm not doing either, but what do i do?

Phoebe

Thank you, everyone!

you all gave me amazing advice, I’m so grateful.

xxxx

28

advice please/data protection

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i have just received an email from an elder's wife regarding the new data protection laws.

between the lines it sounds like she has been asked to contact me.. she says they 'don't want to leave me out' so they want me to fill out the form as 'i'm still part of the congregation'.

also, my blood card needs updating, apparently.. the elder in charge will be in contact.. obviously, i'm not doing either, but what do i do?

Phoebe

I'll ignore then. Thank you.

The 'elder' doing the forms parks his car outside our house every week to go on the ministry with someone else.

If they press me, I just say: 'sorry, thank you for informing me, but I won't be filling out the form or the blood card.'

Is that okay??

28

advice please/data protection

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i have just received an email from an elder's wife regarding the new data protection laws.

between the lines it sounds like she has been asked to contact me.. she says they 'don't want to leave me out' so they want me to fill out the form as 'i'm still part of the congregation'.

also, my blood card needs updating, apparently.. the elder in charge will be in contact.. obviously, i'm not doing either, but what do i do?

Phoebe

I have just received an email from an elder's wife regarding the new data protection laws. Between the lines it sounds like she has been asked to contact me.

She says they 'don't want to leave me out' so they want me to fill out the form as 'I'm still part of the congregation'

Also, my blood card needs updating, apparently.

The elder in charge will be in contact.

Obviously, I'm not doing either, but what do I do? Just ignore is my first reaction but this is a small community it is nigh on impossible to leave the house without bumping into a witness.

I thought as I was now inactive I'd be left alone but obviously not. I only stopped going a year ago. Interestingly, they don't want my husbands. He hasn't been to a meeting for over 20 years.

Can any of you tell me how to handle this, please?

Thank you

28

Jehovah's Witnesses Scripturally Based Position on Child Protection

by humblepotato in

news room > legal developments > legal resources.

jehovah's witnesses scripturally based position on child protection.

i am having trouble understanding paragraph 5. it says: .

Phoebe

As JohnCedars and CovertFade just said on Twitter, read that policy back and substitute murder for child abuse and you see how utterly disgusting it is.

As a victim of child abuse myself, when you are abused it’s as if your life is over. I can’t put it into words but you are ripped apart emotionally and mentally and you never ever get over it.

The WT disgust me. They are making the name Jehovah synonymous with child abuse.

39

How many people have been woken up by the A.R.C??

by karter in

jw
friends

i know of 1 that watched the video and never went back.. i think for some it was a the sum of the total or the "last straw" if you like.. karter..

Phoebe

I don’t know anyone here in the U.K. that has even heard of it.