Phoebe

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Posts by Phoebe

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  50

  1969 Awake on Education - A Sore Spot for Me

  by NotBlind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my father would have started college 49 years ago this week.

  about three months earlier, the week he graduated high school, the awake!

  magazine came out with some very clear direction to teenagers.

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  Phoebe

  I was a victim of that magazine, too. I left school in 69 and wanted to go to college but was talked out of it to regular pioneer instead. So I had a series of poorly paid jobs, never achieved anything and am now mid 60s and suffering with anxiety and stress because we’re struggling to pay the bills. But, I made absolutely sure my own children got educated and went to university for which I was well and truly shunned in my congregation, but I didn’t care. It was important to me my kids got the education I was denied. That damn magazine article, it helped ruin so many of us!
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  112

  London Protest 2018

  by josephus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well today marks the beginning and biggest day of our protest at the london excel.. we believe it's a record number at around 100 exjws at the front door.. we spoke to lots of jw's and one young man studying who has quit after talking to us.

  we've been approached privately by jw's who thanked us for coming and the security at the event treated us very well.. if anyone wants to see some clips they are available on my channel the great apostate.. thanks to all for the support and love..

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  Phoebe

  Instagram is big in my old congregation among young and old. Of course all accounts are private but when I was part of the congregation I saw endless photos of conventions/field service etc. No one was on Facebook or Twitter because it was frowned upon. Not sure anyone would be brave enough to share photos of the protest but they might....who knows.
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  112

  London Protest 2018

  by josephus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well today marks the beginning and biggest day of our protest at the london excel.. we believe it's a record number at around 100 exjws at the front door.. we spoke to lots of jw's and one young man studying who has quit after talking to us.

  we've been approached privately by jw's who thanked us for coming and the security at the event treated us very well.. if anyone wants to see some clips they are available on my channel the great apostate.. thanks to all for the support and love..

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  Phoebe

  Well said Farmer Jim 1 and if you do it again next year we would like to come and join you.
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  112

  London Protest 2018

  by josephus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well today marks the beginning and biggest day of our protest at the london excel.. we believe it's a record number at around 100 exjws at the front door.. we spoke to lots of jw's and one young man studying who has quit after talking to us.

  we've been approached privately by jw's who thanked us for coming and the security at the event treated us very well.. if anyone wants to see some clips they are available on my channel the great apostate.. thanks to all for the support and love..

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  Phoebe

  Can I say something?

  I watched all the videos about the London protest and I thought what a great job they did. They were respectful, dignified and very brave. Yes, as ex witnesses they could just shut the door on the past and get on with their lives (and by the way, if you are one of those telling them to just get on with their lives why are you yourself on here? Just get on with yours and be happy) But they don't shut the door because they CARE. They care about others, those trapped in the WT, those who have or are suffering abuse be it physical, sexual or emotional. They CARE and they came from everywhere to show they cared.

  So, thank you to all of you. I was mentally trapped in the WT for most of my life. My life has been ruined by it. I applaud anyone that does anything to help others escape whether that is making a YouTube video, writing a book or turning up at a protest. Without these people I would still be trapped and so would my husband.

  Thank you to everyone and if you do it next year, we're coming to join you.
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  14

  wizard of Oz JW style

  by Kevin McFree in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  a one year special episode for watchtower to enjoy watching this week ;).

  https://youtu.be/1fx3vrkvaci.

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  Phoebe

  I loved it! I watch all your videos again and again. I find a lot of the exJW videos seem to trigger me into feeling depressed but your videos always make me smile and laugh, thank you so much for making them. I greatly appreciate all the hard work that goes into them.
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  9

  Two Sad an Interesting Stories From When I Hosted the Ex-Jehovah's Witness Meetup Group in Portland

  by new boy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for many years i hosted the ex-jehovah’s witness meet up group in portland oregon.

  i heard a lot of sad stories about what people had lost trying to get away from the jehovah’s witnesses.

  there were whole families that were wiped out.

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  Phoebe

  I have no words....

  The devastation this cult causes is beyond anything I ever could have imagined.

  They will never stop. It will go on and on. I wish we could stop them.

  I'm looking forward to the book, too.
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  15

  Nothing in life is stable as a Jehovah's Witness...

  by silentbuddha in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  at least in hindsight it would appear so.

  i remember as a small kid not making friends because ultimately they were going to die.

  i never saved anything because money would be useless in the new world.

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  Phoebe

  When I was cleaning the most disgusting of places as my life as a cleaner, I would console myself with the fact that I wasn't living the real life. That was yet to come. All I had to do was get through this system as best as I could because my real life was ahead of me and very, very soon.

  When I got too old to clean and now find myself literally scraping by financially and with no nice pension because the end was imminent so I didn't need a pension and anyway, on minimum cleaners wages could never afford to contribute to one! I am dismayed to learn that elders in my congregation - yes, the one's advising me to put the kingdom first - are now retiring and all have private pensions!

  I hate myself for being such a damn fool :(
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  23

  How do you feel you have progressed ?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  in the months or years since leaving the organization, how do you think you have progressed as a person?.

  (or if you have regressed too i guess?).

  what aspects of personal development are you happy with?.

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  Phoebe

  It's interesting and good to see how well people are doing.

  For me. I was totally traumatized at first. Then I was really angry.

  If I knew what I know now as a young person, it may have been better but when you learn it at 64...well, you feel as if someone stole your life and you have so many, many regrets.

  So, here I am now at 65 still struggling to keep my financial head above water when people my age are enjoying their retirement and mostly because I was never given a chance to be educated and have a career of any sort. I was never allowed to question anything and I was so completely indoctrinated by the time I reached adulthood that every single thing in my life from then on was governed by the WT. I was constantly waiting for that 'just around the corner' new world.

  But I think I was most angry because my faith was taken. I read in a book once that the WT 'smashes through peoples faith' and that is so true.

  So now I am at a point where, in order to make sense of it all, I am trying to look back on a life in the religion and find the good bits and there were good bits. Pioneering at 16 was fun, attending conventions and volunteering and meeting people was fun, too. Spending time with the 'anointed' was a respite from my difficult home life. I enjoyed being with those elderly and very kind people they were lovely to me. I also never smoked and although my childhood wasn't happy and I envied my school mates who were allowed so much freedom, two of them became drug addicts and one was pregnant at 14...so maybe it protected me too, who knows?

  And, if I hadn't been in the religion and my husband hadn't come into it we would never have met and the children...they would never have been born. So as I work hard to come to terms with the shock of being lied to and the anger that followed, I am working hard to look back and see there was some good that came of it as well.

  But the very best thing about leaving the WT, and this comes about after a year of intense sessions with a psychologist, is the clarity of mind. I quite literally feel as if my mind was once chained up in a cage and now it is set free. I can't even explain how good that feels. I see things so clearly now. I am no longer beating myself up for being a miserably bad JW, I no longer control my facial expressions when I see something bad on TV for fear Satan can see that something scares me (yes, I really did that?) and will use that fear to get me.

  I know most JWs are lovely people and victims just like I was and now I want to find a way to help people get out.

  I am learning to be a nicer person and I am happier than I have ever been and learning to adapt to life outside the WT.

  I also have made some incredibly lovely new friends via this forum which has been wonderful.
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  114

  The biggest news of the year for Mr. and Mrs. Totally ADD

  by Still Totally ADD in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is bigger than christmas and birthdays wrap into one.

  thanks to the australian royal commission our youngest son has woke up.

  we received a e-mail from him tonight where he apologized to us for shunning us all these years, how bad he felt for doing this.

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  Phoebe

  Wonderful news! I am so happy for you. This gives hope to people with loved ones still in.
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  18

  So, I did a thing ... Shunned VIDcast #1 - Secrets - Jehovah's Witnesses and Cult Life

  by dubstepped in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  alright, many of you know me from the this jw life and shunned podcasts along with my inane ramblings on here.

  i just made my first video and put myself out there on youtube along with my podcast episodes that are on there now.

  i put my podcast audio up on there as videos and new people are subscribing and finding it through that.

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  Phoebe

  Brilliant! I will be following too!