Posts by Phoebe

28

A question for those who still go to the meetings

by no-zombie in

and it is ... why do most at the hall prefer to sit at the back and leave front rows empty?.

Phoebe

I would, and still do at the moment, always tuck myself at the back, in front of the sound desk and right near the wall, so as not to be noticed :(

79

TV commercial seen in the United States, from a Law firm "Asking if you were ever sexually abused by JEHOVAHS WITNESSES, please call".

by Dunedain in

ok, so i don't know if this is "old news", and if this has been seen, and or mentioned already.

if it was, i do apologize, but i feel i have to mention what has been seen on tv, within the past 24 hours.. first off, i would like to say that i did not personally see this commercial.

however, it was seen by someone that i can verify 100% is telling the truth, as it was my own father who saw it.

I do know for sure, that things have changed in the UK & Ireland. I saw a new directive that is finally taking abuse seriously. It is a sin and a CRIME and that parents are advised to contact the local authorities if they wish to do so. There's lots in it and I haven't read it all but it is definitely addressing the issue at last!

I also know that known pedophiles are watched at the conventions. That brothers are assigned to keep an eye on them constantly, even follow them into the toilets.

It's a step in the right direction and probably one that has been forced on them but they are taking it seriously now thank goodness.

58

baptised nearly 51 years

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

been reading this site for awhile now.

i have had a long and often tragic life as a jw.

my story is so long because i'm pretty old :) i feel sad i've been locked in fear and guilt for my entire life.

Phoebe

Hi Phizzy and Tallon,

I agree. I am so glad I sought help. I told myself there was no point in seeking help if I wasn't going to be totally honest about everything. So, despite be warned about mentioning the witnesses, I've been very open with my psychologist about everything and that most definitely included my life as a JW. The help I've received from my psychologist has been incredible. It's like a weight has been taken off my shoulders.

Finally, I am learning to live without fear. I've still a long way to go and I wish with all my heart I had gone years ago. Thank you for your lovely kind words of encouragement .

James Jack

I so agree with you!

Zombie Dub

I'd like to do all three after what he did to me and his family!

58

baptised nearly 51 years

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

been reading this site for awhile now.

i have had a long and often tragic life as a jw.

my story is so long because i'm pretty old :) i feel sad i've been locked in fear and guilt for my entire life.

Phoebe

Thank you everyone for your wonderful welcome, your kind words and encouragement.

It's a huge comfort to know others have been through similar things.

One day, I'll try and write a brief history of all that's happened to me. It might be of some help to anyone who has had a similar experience. To know they are not alone.

Meanwhile, love to you all.

xx

58

baptised nearly 51 years

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

been reading this site for awhile now.

i have had a long and often tragic life as a jw.

my story is so long because i'm pretty old :) i feel sad i've been locked in fear and guilt for my entire life.

Phoebe

3rdgen,

I just wanted to reply to you and say I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I share your pain with the PTSD. Are you getting help? My COBE warned me off counseling and then I was told not to mention JWs. They said my psychologist 'had no reason to know anything about that.'

A lot of your younger life seems to mirror mine. Your father a servant under the old arrangement - mine, too. Especially when you said how you prayed to Jehovah to help you when your parents fought. That was me, too.

I found it very sad that our parents were receiving all this counsel about how to lead a good life, how to have a happy family...and then not applying one word of it. What was the point of it?

I was also never allowed any contact with the 'world' If a schoolmate so much has telephoned me at home by father would go mad. School was unbearable.

Thank you so much for your lovely kind words. It means everything to me to know that I'm not alone.

xx

58

baptised nearly 51 years

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

been reading this site for awhile now.

i have had a long and often tragic life as a jw.

my story is so long because i'm pretty old :) i feel sad i've been locked in fear and guilt for my entire life.

Phoebe

Thank you Alive , for your lovely kind words. xxxxx

Stan livedeath

54 Years? that's amazing. xx

12

One Big Family... Except For When You Need Them

by pale.emperor in

when i was in, we all used to claim us jw's were "one big family" all around the world, and how we're the happiest people on the earth.

except that isnt true is it?

i knew that when i was in, but i've just had some news which shows me how unloving, uncaring and un-family like they really are.. my ex-best friend (he has to shun me doesn't he?

Phoebe

They should be entitled to some state benefits to tie them over until they find work.

We've just been through this, only we're much, much older. Two years ago my husband got very sick and he had to give up work. We only had a cleaning business (yes, that's the work he took on when he began to RP, which in hindsight was stupid but we didn't know better then) But it provided albeit not a lot.

So, he got sick and I was doing anything and everything to earn money for food/bills. I'm older so it was really hard going out cleaning on my own. I'd often sit on the stairs of one house I cleaned and have a good cry because I was so exhausted. The whole congregation knew. All I ever got from them, if they lowered themselves to speak to me, was: 'I'll pray for you.'

I didn't want charity. We'd always been the kind of people that helped others. My husband helped brothers after he left. But now we were really up against the wall. We had so little to live on. I thought the brothers would show they at least they cared. Nope.

I worked 24/7 setting up a new business and somehow we clawed our way back to being able to look after ourselves. Even now I have to work every day. Never had so much as 'are you okay?' from anyone.

My husband says' there's no brownie points for being kind and loving'. He says if they could write it on a report card, we'd have had a line at the door :D

58

baptised nearly 51 years

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

been reading this site for awhile now.

i have had a long and often tragic life as a jw.

my story is so long because i'm pretty old :) i feel sad i've been locked in fear and guilt for my entire life.

Phoebe

Thank you, sparky 1.

I spent quite awhile choosing a name!

58

baptised nearly 51 years

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

been reading this site for awhile now.

i have had a long and often tragic life as a jw.

my story is so long because i'm pretty old :) i feel sad i've been locked in fear and guilt for my entire life.

Phoebe

Hi never a jw,

My husband has only just recently found JWSurvey but he's been telling me there's something wrong with it for years. Then, not too long ago, he said he'd discovered, and been listening to, John Cedars and I must admit I was quite alarmed and told him he mustn't go on apostate web sites. But he kept telling me about JWSurvey and Critical Thinker and the things he was telling me made sense so I...reluctantly....had a peek.

I was terrified to look. But then I realised that these people weren't monsters, they were decent human beings trying to help. So the more I looked the more I wanted to know and John Cedars said 'research, research, research' so I did.

58

baptised nearly 51 years

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

been reading this site for awhile now.

i have had a long and often tragic life as a jw.

my story is so long because i'm pretty old :) i feel sad i've been locked in fear and guilt for my entire life.

Phoebe

Hi LevelThePlayingField, Millie210, smiddy and everyone.

Thank you. Virtual hugs coming your way :)

I must admit I was scared of joining and posting! Obviously I changed my name etc. There is such a climate of fear in the organization these days. It keeps getting rammed home to us we have to be loyal and the WT study this week was no exception. I want to be loyal to the God I believe in. Not to men. I have lost all trust in the organization. There are some truly wonderful brothers and sisters but there are also a whole bunch of theocratic snobs who look down on people who are not doing what they perceive as enough.

When I was a child I remember so much kindness from some of the older brothers and sisters and to be fair, in many ways it saved me. My parents put on a great show of being the perfect JW family. I would get into trouble if I didn't answer at the meetings. But behind close doors was a different story. My parents fought violently almost every day. My earliest memory is of being curled up under the bed, fingers in ears trying to blot out their screams and praying over and over again to God to make them stop. Plus my brother sexually assaulting me on several occasions. It was hell. As I grew up I went into the religion a scared, timid person - easily manipulated, easily frightened. Years of stress has built up to mammoth proportions. Thank goodness, I sought help. I advise anyone, like me, find a good counselor/therapist and don't be afraid to tell them you are a JW. I was told by a sister not to tell my psychologist I was a JW. But I told her anyway, how could I not? That is where the root of the problem lay.

It's taken over 50 years to be brave enough to say' enough' I'm not putting up with this anymore.

My husband told my kids (none of my kids are JWs) This religion is going to kill your mum.

I'm so glad I plucked up the courage to join you. What lovely people you are. x