Posts by Phoebe

27

How to convince someone to leave.

by Smiruk in

jw
friends

hey everyone, long time lurker, first time poster.

i'm currently in a jehovah's witnesses household, which is very deep into the "truth".

i woke up a few months ago, and i haven't told my parents yet.

Phoebe

Waking up is painful, especially for those who have been in it for years. I suffered the worst panic attacks when I started to realise it wasn't the truth. I'd wake up in the middle of the night in a terrible state. I was so confused and lost and very angry.

My husband drip fed me bits about the organization prior to me seeing it for myself. So you have to go slowly because finding out it's not the truth after you've dedicated years to it - it's huge and very frightening - and people don't want to be told that.

Gently does it. A sincere question, occasionally. Sow seeds.

10

My awakening and concern

by Issa in

good evening everyone, i go by issa.

as many former ex-witnesses, i "woke up" from believing that the jw org is the "truth".

this happened during this month thanks to information from jw-facts and youtube videos about ex-witnesses' experience in this org.

Phoebe

Hello Issa,

I only recently left, too - only I wasted my entire life on it - but luckily, you haven't.

Everyone on this forum helped me so much and I know they'll help you, too.

149

why jw's commit suicide?

by notalone in

jw
friends

we all know the rate of suicide is high among jw's.

my question is this- was there some subliminal messages that encourage this.

i was a born in and my entire life i would have these thoughts that could come out of nowhere,"kill yourself.

Phoebe

And...it's not like you are ever going to get any help even if you are still IN and have suicidal thoughts. When I went through a particularly bad bout of depression - a result of having cancer - I was writing goodbye letters to my kids. On a very rare occasion I was actually asked by an elder how I was feeling, I expressed that I was really troubled with suicidal thoughts and had written goodbye letters to my kids. He said and I quote 'Oh, sorry to hear about that' and walked off and never spoke to me again.

If a sister came to me like that, I would immediately have jumped into action to help her. But then that's me...a lowly sister.

81

Gerrit Losch Claims JW's Attending College Are Spiritually Weak

by pale.emperor in

https://www.facebook.com/jw.0027/videos/799049613609936/.

the video was posted directly to a pro-jw facebook page.

i cant believe what i'm hearing... actually, nothing surprises be about this cult anymore.. didn't they say to the judge in the arc that they dont discourage college?.

Phoebe

Two of my kids went to university and we were openly punished for it at the hall. We sat alone, no one would sit near us. It was mentioned in some very pointed talks that university was evil and everyone knew it was directed at me, even though it was my sons decisions to go, not mine.The treatment we received was so harsh my sons stopped going because of it. One said 'we're treated as if we have leprosy.'

But, when one of them became a lawyer, oh it was different then. JWs he knew would come to him for 'free advice' all the time and being kind he would do work for them for free until he realized he was just being used. Now he tells them to make an appointment and what his fee is, that soon puts them off.

I'm glad they both went. I was one of those kids from the generation who left school early to pioneer because the end was around the corner (1960s) and my parents didn't believe in further education. I'm in my 60s now and still having to work because I didn't have a career. Oh, if only I could go back and change that!

12

Recovery From The Jehovah's Witnesses - A Guide

by pale.emperor in

hey guys.

a friend online asked me about my recovery and how i managed to recover relatively easily from watchtower indoctrination.

although i think a major part of it is acquainting oneself with information about the watchtower and it's history, a lot of it (for me at least) was an inner game.

Phoebe

So beautifully written, Pale Emperor.

My husband and I have just read it together and it has helped us both so much. I'm going to save it so that we can keep reading it.

Thank you so much. If only the Watchtower knew how much they'd lost, when they lost you.

14

My Reverse-Shunning Letter To My Mother

by pale.emperor in

i mailed the below letter to my mother a few weeks ago.

i did share it on the ex-jw facebook group but thought i'd post it here.. basically, she's shunned me since day 1, has little or nothing to do with my 3yo daughter and told my sister "i hope <my daughter> becomes a jw when she's older so i can welcome her into the family".

well, that was the last straw for me..

Phoebe

That's a powerful letter and it must have been a cathartic experience to write it.

.One day, I want to write something very similar to my evil brother and sister (elder/pioneer)

I think I might be sort of in your neck of the woods btw. Well, not that far away, anyway,

They say the best revenge for leaving the Watchtower is to be happy.

So I wish you - and you daughter - all the happiness in the world. You deserve it.

26

Judicial meeting questions.

by Fader812 in

why do elders ask such perverted questions during judicial meetings?

kinda creeped me out, actually creeped me out a lot.

.

Phoebe

I was reading this thread and I have a story to tell about this.

Back in the late 70s, a young sister I knew committed fornication with her boyf - once. Riddled with guilt, she confessed to the elders. Brought in front of a JC. She was early 20s and the three elders - one in his 40s, two elderly. One of the elderly bros had recently lost his special pioneer daughter in road accident.

The questions they asked her. I couldn't put them on here. She said she was sobbing her heart out and they were interrogating her with the most disgusting questions. They wanted a minute by minute detailed description of everything. They even wanted to know (why?) what kind of underwear she was wearing!

She wasn't DF but get this, three months after her JC the elder in his 40s was DF. The whole time he was interrogating her at her JC, he was sleeping with another brother's wife! And one of the other elders, the one who had lost his daughter, came up to her after a meeting and said it was her that should have been killed in a car accident not his lovely daughter who was strong in the truth -- unlike her. My friend ran out of the hall crying.

My friend left that congregation as soon as she could and never came back.

9

Episode 5 of This JW Life is live - Enter the FOG - The Culture of Jehovah's Witnesses

by dubstepped in

episode 5 of the podcast is now up.

i will take you into the fog, tell you what it means, and explain it in the context of the jw culture.

i also use another known cult model and show how it applies, along with some of my own stories thrown in.. http://thisjwlife.com/episode-5-enter-the-fog-the-culture-of-jehovahs-witnesses/.

Phoebe

Really enjoyed listening to it!

23

chasing me for a report

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i'm fairly new on here and i've told a lot of my story but to recap, after 60 odd years i've stopped going to the meetings.

my husband had already left the truth years ago and my children didn't become jws.(phew!).

i had a horrendous childhood growing up as a witness which included sexual assault by a close relative, also a jw.

Phoebe

Hi everyone,

I just want to say thank you to you all for your love, support, advice and virtual hugs.

You have no idea how much it means to me to get this kind of support and advice from all of you.

I will take on board everything you have said and follow your good advice.

As it happens I bumped into the same elder in town yesterday (My town is very small pop 2,400) after his wife hugged me and said we miss you, the elder kept on and on at me 'so when are you coming back?. ' we will see you at the meetings again soon?' I deflected all his questions and even as I said good by he continued on as I walked away 'so, you'll be at the meeting soon, then?'

I felt so pressurized by him but I although I consider myself a fairly meek and mild person, I am a quite determined person and I will not be going back. As someone once said 'when the bell has rung, how can you un-ring it?' Knowing what we've found out how could anyone go back, unless it's for family reasons.

I suspect I will continue to be harassed, although not by the elders I first went to as neither of them seem to have the guts. They send this elder - their lackey.

Thank you all for having my back...you maybe virtual friends but you've already all show me more compassion that a life time of being a JW.

xxx

23

chasing me for a report

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i'm fairly new on here and i've told a lot of my story but to recap, after 60 odd years i've stopped going to the meetings.

my husband had already left the truth years ago and my children didn't become jws.(phew!).

i had a horrendous childhood growing up as a witness which included sexual assault by a close relative, also a jw.

Phoebe

I'm fairly new on here and I've told a lot of my story but to recap, after 60 odd years I've stopped going to the meetings. My husband had already left the truth years ago and my children didn't become JWs.(phew!)

I had a horrendous childhood growing up as a witness which included sexual assault by a close relative, also a JW. This past year through counseling I confronted that person by letter with the full support of my elders who, I thought were going to have my back. Turns out I was wrong. After a few weeks they suddenly didn't want to know me. Refused to talk to me about it and one even ran away from me in the supermarket. I know what's happened. My abuser is an elder in another congregation and no doubt the branch was contacted and my elders were told to drop it. Well, that was the final nail in the coffin for me. I had bravely lay bare the thing that had ruined my life and all but destroyed me and my elders, who knew all the gory details because I told them everything, abandoned me. I decided then and there, I'd had enough and stopped going.

But get this....for the past 3 months...at the end of the month they send another elder round the house or he rings me up - for my report!!!

They don't want to know me. Don't care about me and yet they bug me for a report at the end of each month!

I told the elder they send that he's aware I'm not attending meetings so it's pretty obvious I'm not reporting. He is such a nice elder and he always says to me 'they get on my back if I don't do ask.' I feel sorry for him.

I do not want to DA because I'm not giving them that final power over me. But how do I handle this?