Phoebe

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Posts by Phoebe

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  50

  Jehovah's people are not happy people

  by Phoebe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i finally stopped attending the meetings about 4 months go.

  i won't be going back - ever.. but i've decided the best reply to the watchtower is to be happy and i do try to be happy every day even thought i wasted my entire life on this religion.

  i cherish every day, practice mindfulness and do my best to be content with the life i have.. it is only now that i see that most jws i know are deeply unhappy people.

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  Phoebe

  ttdtt

  I agree with you. Growing up in the truth in the 60s/70s until about the 80s, the JWs I knew and mixed with seemed happy enough. To be honest, in the 60s the JWs, especially older bros and sis of the anointed, were fun to be around and very, very kind to us kids. Then I remember talking to an elderly sister in the 1980s and she said 'the brothers are getting tired now' and I think from then on it seemed to get harder and harder to keep going.

  When we all really thought this generation wouldn't pass away, the anointed were already chosen and the numbers of them declining, there seemed an end in sight. I think maybe then they were mostly happy. I remember some very happy times especially at conventions.

  But I've noticed these past few years brothers getting more and more stressed out. More on medication for anxiety and depression. More suicides. More marriage break ups. Something never heard of when I was growing up in the 60s/70s. I now constantly hear the phrase ' Satan is attacking the witnesses' to explain every single problem they have, forgetting people in the 'world' have many of the same problems.

  When you have elders saying things like 'Only ACTIVE Jehovah's Witnesses will survive Armageddon' making the brothers think 'oh no, what if I'm not doing enough??' add that to the strains and stresses of everyday life, no wonder people are miserable to be around.
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  50

  Jehovah's people are not happy people

  by Phoebe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i finally stopped attending the meetings about 4 months go.

  i won't be going back - ever.. but i've decided the best reply to the watchtower is to be happy and i do try to be happy every day even thought i wasted my entire life on this religion.

  i cherish every day, practice mindfulness and do my best to be content with the life i have.. it is only now that i see that most jws i know are deeply unhappy people.

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  Phoebe

  SAHS

  I'm so sorry you had to endure that. Wish I could give you a hug!

  I recall those awful pictures in the Paradise book, we would sit for our family bible study at the kitchen table (no elbows on the table!) and my dad would tell us that if we didn't get baptized that was our fate. I was so terrified I got baptized at 13. That fear has stayed with me my whole life until recently. It was definitely child abuse.

  I would pray constantly because I was scared I might be doing something unforgivable. Even when I first went on this forum or started looking up youtube videos by exJWs, I was terrified I was grieving the holy spirit.

  Diogensister

  I agree. I am 64 and although it's been painful finding out the truth about the truth, I am so glad that I did. I know some people think it's best to leave older people to continue to believe in the organization but if you truly love truth, whatever age you are, you will want to know the truth. I know I did. If I was being lied to I wanted to know about it.
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  50

  Jehovah's people are not happy people

  by Phoebe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i finally stopped attending the meetings about 4 months go.

  i won't be going back - ever.. but i've decided the best reply to the watchtower is to be happy and i do try to be happy every day even thought i wasted my entire life on this religion.

  i cherish every day, practice mindfulness and do my best to be content with the life i have.. it is only now that i see that most jws i know are deeply unhappy people.

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  Phoebe

  Thank you Half banana, I appreciate that very much.

  Now the shock of it not being 'the truth' is finally leaving me, because it was a shock! I'm feeling better each day.

  This forum has helped sooo much! Everyone has been so kind and supportive.
  

  It's a strange, but nice feeling, taking each day as it comes without worrying that I'm not good enough and if I didn't do better God would kill me. Jeez! 60 odd years of that!!! I can't get the time back but think myself lucky that I did finally see the truth and been set free :)
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  50

  Jehovah's people are not happy people

  by Phoebe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i finally stopped attending the meetings about 4 months go.

  i won't be going back - ever.. but i've decided the best reply to the watchtower is to be happy and i do try to be happy every day even thought i wasted my entire life on this religion.

  i cherish every day, practice mindfulness and do my best to be content with the life i have.. it is only now that i see that most jws i know are deeply unhappy people.

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  Phoebe

  I finally stopped attending the meetings about 4 months go. I won't be going back - ever.

  But I've decided the best reply to the Watchtower is to be happy and I do try to be happy every day even thought I wasted my entire life on this religion. I cherish every day, practice mindfulness and do my best to be content with the life I have.

  It is only now that I see that most JWs I know are deeply unhappy people. I get emails from a sister and she is constantly lamenting how Satan is attacking everyone, how she cries when she says her prayers because all her kids have left the truth and she begs God to save them. How she's on anxiety pills and dreads the ministry and meetings.

  Yesterday I saw a JW neighbour (I'm currently trying to avoid all JWs but this one lives almost next door) and quite honestly after a ten minute conversation with him I felt so depressed I didn't know what to do with myself. He was so utterly miserable and was saying how we're getting older, we might get sick and die blah blah.

  Every time I have the misfortune to bump into one of them it is apparent how completely miserable they are. When I saw John Cedars review of the first day of the convention, I thought it's all doom, gloom and scare tactics. No wonder they are all so miserable.

  How did I not see this when I was in? I guess you don't see the wood for the trees, do you?

  I thought Jehovah was a happy God?
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  27

  How to convince someone to leave.

  by Smiruk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everyone, long time lurker, first time poster.

  i'm currently in a jehovah's witnesses household, which is very deep into the "truth".

  i woke up a few months ago, and i haven't told my parents yet.

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  Phoebe

  Waking up is painful, especially for those who have been in it for years. I suffered the worst panic attacks when I started to realise it wasn't the truth. I'd wake up in the middle of the night in a terrible state. I was so confused and lost and very angry.

  My husband drip fed me bits about the organization prior to me seeing it for myself. So you have to go slowly because finding out it's not the truth after you've dedicated years to it - it's huge and very frightening - and people don't want to be told that.

  Gently does it. A sincere question, occasionally. Sow seeds.
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  10

  My awakening and concern

  by Issa in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  good evening everyone, i go by issa.

  as many former ex-witnesses, i "woke up" from believing that the jw org is the "truth".

  this happened during this month thanks to information from jw-facts and youtube videos about ex-witnesses' experience in this org.

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  Phoebe

  Hello Issa,

  I only recently left, too - only I wasted my entire life on it - but luckily, you haven't.

  Everyone on this forum helped me so much and I know they'll help you, too.
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  149

  why jw's commit suicide?

  by notalone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we all know the rate of suicide is high among jw's.

  my question is this- was there some subliminal messages that encourage this.

  i was a born in and my entire life i would have these thoughts that could come out of nowhere,"kill yourself.

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  Phoebe

  And...it's not like you are ever going to get any help even if you are still IN and have suicidal thoughts. When I went through a particularly bad bout of depression - a result of having cancer - I was writing goodbye letters to my kids. On a very rare occasion I was actually asked by an elder how I was feeling, I expressed that I was really troubled with suicidal thoughts and had written goodbye letters to my kids. He said and I quote 'Oh, sorry to hear about that' and walked off and never spoke to me again.

  If a sister came to me like that, I would immediately have jumped into action to help her. But then that's me...a lowly sister.
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  81

  Gerrit Losch Claims JW's Attending College Are Spiritually Weak

  by pale.emperor in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  https://www.facebook.com/jw.0027/videos/799049613609936/.

  the video was posted directly to a pro-jw facebook page.

  i cant believe what i'm hearing... actually, nothing surprises be about this cult anymore.. didn't they say to the judge in the arc that they dont discourage college?.

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  Phoebe

  Two of my kids went to university and we were openly punished for it at the hall. We sat alone, no one would sit near us. It was mentioned in some very pointed talks that university was evil and everyone knew it was directed at me, even though it was my sons decisions to go, not mine.The treatment we received was so harsh my sons stopped going because of it. One said 'we're treated as if we have leprosy.'

  But, when one of them became a lawyer, oh it was different then. JWs he knew would come to him for 'free advice' all the time and being kind he would do work for them for free until he realized he was just being used. Now he tells them to make an appointment and what his fee is, that soon puts them off.

  I'm glad they both went. I was one of those kids from the generation who left school early to pioneer because the end was around the corner (1960s) and my parents didn't believe in further education. I'm in my 60s now and still having to work because I didn't have a career. Oh, if only I could go back and change that!
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  12

  Recovery From The Jehovah's Witnesses - A Guide

  by pale.emperor in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hey guys.

  a friend online asked me about my recovery and how i managed to recover relatively easily from watchtower indoctrination.

  although i think a major part of it is acquainting oneself with information about the watchtower and it's history, a lot of it (for me at least) was an inner game.

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  Phoebe

  So beautifully written, Pale Emperor.

  My husband and I have just read it together and it has helped us both so much. I'm going to save it so that we can keep reading it.

  Thank you so much. If only the Watchtower knew how much they'd lost, when they lost you.
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  14

  My Reverse-Shunning Letter To My Mother

  by pale.emperor in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i mailed the below letter to my mother a few weeks ago.

  i did share it on the ex-jw facebook group but thought i'd post it here.. basically, she's shunned me since day 1, has little or nothing to do with my 3yo daughter and told my sister "i hope <my daughter> becomes a jw when she's older so i can welcome her into the family".

  well, that was the last straw for me..

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  Phoebe

  That's a powerful letter and it must have been a cathartic experience to write it.

  .One day, I want to write something very similar to my evil brother and sister (elder/pioneer)

  I think I might be sort of in your neck of the woods btw. Well, not that far away, anyway,

  They say the best revenge for leaving the Watchtower is to be happy.

  So I wish you - and you daughter - all the happiness in the world. You deserve it.