Posts by Phoebe

34

Just need to vent a little

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

in the last week i have had three visits from brothers.

so 6 witnesses in all as they come in pairs.

now considering i used to go to the meetings, sit by myself and literally no one talked to me - ever - why the concern all of a sudden?.

Phoebe

Diogenesister.

I'm married but I've been at the meetings on my own for nearly 20 years now. Husband used to be a RP/MS but left. He just plain burnt himself out. No one cared. He never got any visits.

So, I've been attending on my own for a long, long time. I studied with the kids but gave them the choice and none of them wanted to be JWs and went off to university. Strangely, they've all become upright citizens contributing to society and all have good jobs and fine reputations. (i'm being sarcastic as y'know we're told uni will turn them into evolution believing, drug addicts with morals of alley cats) But them going to uni pretty much made everyone in the congregation think I was bad association. I literally walked a mile to and from the hall on my own for years, in all weathers. Cars going to hall passed me. Get there, sit on a entire row on my own, no one would speak much. Maybe one or two might say hello.One sister was nice to me when she was there. I ticked all the boxes - ministry/answer up etc. But still everyone so cold towards me. Walked out of there nearly 5 months ago and haven't been back since.

Dubstepped - I think you are right. I think I give them permission to treat me badly. My psychologist said that, too.

I won't let them in next time.Husband says we should get one of those doorbells with a camera.

Anyway, thank you all so much for your advice and concern. I really appreciate it. It helps enormously being able to talk to someone.

xx

34

Just need to vent a little

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

in the last week i have had three visits from brothers.

so 6 witnesses in all as they come in pairs.

now considering i used to go to the meetings, sit by myself and literally no one talked to me - ever - why the concern all of a sudden?.

Phoebe

Thanks, everyone. I knew you would make me feel better!

ToesUp - love that quote. One to remember.

Magnum - you made me laugh out loud. The crazy thing is, I only got it done last week. Guess she didn't like it. Perhaps the JWs are going to come up with approved hairstyles, you know, like in N.Korea!

34

Just need to vent a little

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

in the last week i have had three visits from brothers.

so 6 witnesses in all as they come in pairs.

now considering i used to go to the meetings, sit by myself and literally no one talked to me - ever - why the concern all of a sudden?.

Phoebe

Yes, I think her telling me to change my hair upset me the most! I got the feeling she thought since I'd stopped going 'I'd let myself go' She even reached over and touched my hair and said (her exact words) 'and get this done. It's not you'' Cheeky cow.

34

Just need to vent a little

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

in the last week i have had three visits from brothers.

so 6 witnesses in all as they come in pairs.

now considering i used to go to the meetings, sit by myself and literally no one talked to me - ever - why the concern all of a sudden?.

Phoebe

In the last week I have had THREE visits from brothers. So 6 witnesses in all as they come in pairs. Now considering I used to go to the meetings, sit by myself and literally no one talked to me - EVER - why the concern all of a sudden?

To be fair some of them have been extremely sweet and kind, particularly one brother who is the most christian person I've ever met. He's just moved back into my congregation and he wanted to just call and say hello and he really is a lovely, kind person. I almost felt that if every witness was like him how lovely it would be...but that's another story.

BUT the sister today, although she did the whole hug/we care about you spiel, went on and on and on and on and on and on about how me not going to the meetings was disobeying Jehovah. They read me a scripture when they left. She even told me to 'get my hair done' because my current style was 'not me' and to sort myself out and get back to the meetings asap because I needed to be obedient to Jehovah.

I did not want to go into detail as to why I stopped going as it's none of her business but I did say I have an anxiety disorder and she went on and on and on about how she'd dealt with bad times but it was getting back to Jehovah that helped her and how I still had a good heart and I would be in paradise but I NEEDED TO GET BACK TO THE MEETINGS!!! I was as nice as possible and I do know their intentions are good but I went for years on my own and I had no friends there. No one gave a flying fig about me. I was not part of the big clique that's in my congregation and my kids went to university (so that made me worse than a serial killer) I can't tell you how many times I left that place in tears at the coldness shown me. So why the sudden bombardment??

Thank you for listening to me vent. I had to get it off my chest!

11

Advice on family waking up to TTATT

by Jules Saturn in

if you've been following my posts here, i am physically in and mentally out.

it's so hard because i wish that my family could wake up just as easily as i did.

the other day i had a conversation with a relative regarding whether they have come to terms with their own mortality and they replied that they try not to think about it too much but also said that it's possible that armageddon would even happen long after they are gone, which i thought was a very interesting thought.. maybe it's just me, but i feel like what made me wake up easily was that i've always had little doubts here and there but this was stuff like me being unable to grasp the concept of how one could be anointed and how would you know if you were.

Phoebe

Jules Saturn

Your parents are only in their 50s. Still time to have a life after JW. I have just woken up and I'm 64. I wish someone had tried to wake me up when I was in my 50s or younger.

It's a lot harder to accept being woken up when you are older. It's like your world just imploded.

If I had been younger, I would have had choices. When you are older all you have is regrets. You can't go back and start again. They took your life. It's incredibly hard to accept that you've had a wasted life.

Having said that, for all the pain it's caused me, I am glad I now know the truth. No one wants to live a lie and if, like me, they will still believe in God, it's an opportunity to build a relationship with him. A relationship that isn't built on lies from an organization.

I am glad to have woken up, even though I am much older.

38

Question...

by ironsnake656 in

when you were an active member in the jwland, did you expect to receive any kind of help from a brother/sister, but they did not help you?

when i was in the jwland, i expected and was my belief that any brother/sister will help you in time of need, distress or trouble, because we were part of a "lovely organization".

but countless of times when i needed and asked for help, nobody from the org helped me.

Phoebe

Absolutely agree with you HiddlesWife

When we were without an income (husband sick/no work) they kept telling me 'Jehovah has a duty to provide for his servants' and even if you are down to your last tin of beans, he will provide. He provides for the birds and the flowers, doesn't he? But on the other hand I was also told 'Jehovah allows you to suffer' because it's not all about you, you know!...you have to see the bigger picture. They said the bros in concentration camps suffered, he let that happen.

Talk about confusing me!

It was the beginning of the end for me. Not because I wanted food parcels or charity because I suddenly realised that no one actually cared what happened to us. It really hurt me, especially after we had been so caring to other people. I realised we had absolutely no real friends in the congregation. Had we been connected to one of the 'cliques' they would have cared. But because we weren't in with the 'in crowd' all the help I ever got was - we'll pray for you. Thanks for nothing.

It was obvious that they were happy to take off us but once we need some kind of support, if only moral support, you couldn't see them for dust!

38

Question...

by ironsnake656 in

when you were an active member in the jwland, did you expect to receive any kind of help from a brother/sister, but they did not help you?

when i was in the jwland, i expected and was my belief that any brother/sister will help you in time of need, distress or trouble, because we were part of a "lovely organization".

but countless of times when i needed and asked for help, nobody from the org helped me.

Phoebe

The same as ToesUp and Tijkmo

We helped the brothers in our congregation. My husband was the most giving person when he was in and out of the truth. When he was studying he gave all his savings to a brother in need (it was only hundreds but still, it was ALL his savings!) He thought that was what Christians were supposed to do.

He worked for brothers for free, gave them lifts to hospital appointments, gifts, gas money etc.

But when he got sick and had to give up work and we were living on soup, did anyone help us? NOPE.

All we got was 'I'll pray for you'

A sister 250 miles away heard of our troubles and gave us money to fill up our larder. That was so kind of her.

But she was the only one. They don't give out help and the ones that do give get taken advantage of.

The people we had supported and helped through their bad times were nowhere to be seen when we were desperate for help ourselves.

18

I love heavy metal!!!

by ironsnake656 in

probably you noticed that my avatar is a photo of steve harris, bassist of iron maiden.

i have quite a few years that i started to listen this kind of music, even when i was in the jwland.

although it was a "no-no" in the borders of jwland, i knew a lot of brothers and sisters that listened and loved this kind of music.

Phoebe

Actually I do, too (and I'm in my 60s!) I've been to lots of gigs with my kids. Of course, I wouldn't tell anyone at the hall that I went. But my favourite band is Avenged Sevenfold. Dream come true when I saw them.

The last gig I went to was Rammstein, I love Richard. Z.Kruspe...he's so cool. That was the best gig - ever.

I also love WWE and have been to see them recently. I love wrestling!

See, this is why I was never good enough to be a JW!!!

20

Have you noticed this trend on social media amongst witnesses...?

by stuckinarut2 in

it seems that every 2nd witness often posts pictures of themselves at conventions, or out in 'service'.

but i have noticed that they never seem to post anything about the actual "spiritual content" of their activity!

instead, it is pictures of them with their witness "friends", along with some contrite comment like #bestlifeever (arrghhh).

Phoebe

jookbeard

Instagram seems to be the one. I hardly know any JWs that are on Facebook unless it is for business. But they post endless IG photos -- protecting their privacy, of course. So not everyone can see.

68

Over 300 DFed apparently went to a northern U.K R.C!

by Isambard Crater in

that's what i've been told by a family member (elder) who went to one of the regional conventions in the north of the u.k lately, who told me the 300 or more disfellowshipped who returned to jehovah by attending show that the end is so close, just like the final talk says..

Phoebe

darkspliver

It was Liverpool!

Security, I'm told, was tight, with big bully brothers in different coloured jackets.

One higher up brother from the branch apparently did a 'do you know who I am?' when a security brother asked him for his convention badge.

I can't see a DF person being able to just show up alone and get in. Unless pale.emperor did manage it.